For inner harmony it is necessary

Published with permission from HODDER & STOUGHTON LIMITED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

* * *

No one can build you a bridge over which you can cross the stream of life - no one except yourself. True, there are countless paths and bridges; there are demigods who want to carry you across the stream - but only at the cost of yourself: you would have to give yourself as collateral, lose yourself. The world has the only way, on which no one can walk except you; where does it lead? Don't ask - follow it!

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith

Each of us has an idea of what we want to be. But unfortunately, it is very difficult to follow these ideas day after day. We are made up of habits and subject to mechanisms that shape our behavior. Sometimes they work for us, and sometimes against us. It is difficult to overcome this minefield and become what we strive to be. Nigel's book will help us.

She inspires and offers practical ideas to help you live and work successfully in the 21st century. On the pages of this book you will find various tips on how to change for the better not only your life, but also the lives of those around you, how to become more successful at work and at home, how to build relationships correctly, be healthy, financially secure both now and after retirement. . The book will help you not only determine the meaning of success for yourself, but will also give you necessary tools to make it a reality.

Nigel was trained and certified at my center, where they help people achieve their goals - both business and life. We have carefully selected and compiled 100 ideas and exercises that will help you with this too.

In Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts Becoming the Person You Want to Be, co-authored with Mark Reiter, I write that understanding the difference between success and failure is both easy and difficult, just as managing the triggers that shape us behavior. The conclusions and exercises in Nigel's book go hand in hand with this idea. But just reading his book is not enough - you need to do all the exercises. So get ready to work.

As I already noted, it is not easy to become what you want to be. Nigel's book will give you the chance to overcome the challenges that are holding you back.

Read it, take action. And feel the difference!

Introduction

What does success mean to you? And what kind of success do you need?

The very concept of success is associated with achieved goals, realized dreams, aspirations that led to the desired result.

But for everyone this happens in their own way, very individually. Your deepest dream may seem like just a stupid idea to someone. You may dream of becoming a chef, participating in a special competition and winning the grand prize, but your friend hates cooking.

It takes a lot to achieve so that one day, looking back on the path you have traveled, you can say: “I lived my life successfully.”

This book is a guide on the path to achieving your goals, whether they are bold and great or modest and even mundane.

Think right now what it means to you to be successful:

Get more high position;

Succeed as a leader;

Lose weight;

Jog in the mornings;

Become a writer and get published;

Live until retirement healthy;

Raise good children and see them create their own families;

Calm down and live in peace with yourself;

Pay off your mortgage in full;

Learn something new;

Always follow your heart and don’t regret it;

To be surrounded by wonderful people;

Learn foreign language;

Completely defeat a serious illness;

Accumulate a certain amount of money;

Do what you love and do not experience constant stress from work;

Be happy, content with what you have.

These are some of my clients' responses. Now, after stopping reading, try writing your list. Don't change anything in it and don't think about the order in which ideas come to mind. Let it be just a stream of consciousness.

The list will seem endless to you, and I can say for sure that it will change all the time. Once you reach the “top of the mountain”, you will find that you have fresh ideas for new “mountains”. And then “mountains” will appear that you didn’t even suspect about yesterday. Dreams and priorities change.

One hundred chapters of this book will help you achieve success, no matter how you imagine it and no matter what area of your life it is connected with:

Work and career growth;

Relationships and family creation;

Personality and character;

Well-being and finance;

Health and peace of mind;

Training and education;

Retirement and what you leave behind.

Each chapter reveals a specific idea that will help you get closer to your goal. On the first page you will find a description of this idea and the necessary explanations. On the second you will find a variety of exercises. Start working with them today to align yourself with the specific mindsets, habits, and behaviors you need to increase your chances of success.

Some exercises will be completely new to you, others will seem intuitively obvious. One way or another, it is important to do them all. The exercises are specifically designed to help you form new habits and tune your internal computer for success. Rarely lucky people perform such actions “without prompting,” deliberately and consciously, and they are the ones we most often consider successful.

You will learn what needs to be done right now, and what can be done a little later, depending on what the situation is in your life. If an exercise cannot be performed because it is incompatible with what is happening, put it aside and return to it when circumstances allow.

Who am I to teach success?

This book is the result of my fifteen years of work as a coach and mentor to people from different walks of life in many countries around the world. Based on this experience, I have compiled a list of the 100 most important areas that you need to focus on in order to achieve success in life in general.

I got married, and to this day I live in a happy marriage, raising two amazing children: my son is now 16 years old, and my adopted daughter is 24 years old;

Going to Cambridge University and then, when I was just 26, becoming a regional finance director for one of the UK's biggest companies;

Make your travel dream come true and live in eight countries in 26 years;

Participate in the creation successful company and sell it for several million dollars;

Become a famous writer and speaker;

Find the opportunity to do what you love and help others by working as a coach at Silk Road Partnership;

Learning to live in harmony with myself, being content with what I have, is probably my most important achievement.

All that remains for me is to wish you all the best on the way to your cherished goal. The ideas and exercises you will find in this book will help you achieve the success in life that you deserve.

1. Follow your dreams

Life will be much better if you do what you truly love. People who do what they love enjoy their lives much more than others simply because they follow their dreams.

Richard Branson

Dreams are the fuel of success; without them, life will never be full and at least partially successful. Just as a car engine won’t start without good gasoline, you run the risk of living life without a dream, in fact, without ever starting to live.

Any success is always preceded by the fulfillment of a dream. As a coach I have worked extensively with successful people, and all of them, one way or another, came to success thanks to the fulfillment of at least one of their dreams. Sometimes it was a childhood dream, sometimes it came later, but in any case, the achievements of these people were associated with a dream come true. It was she who, once captivating them, encouraged them to action, inspired them. A dream, becoming a goal, made me believe in the impossible, change my life in the most unpredictable way, leave my comfort zone and take risks even in a situation where it was difficult to imagine.

As adults, we often follow other people's expectations, not noticing or forgetting what we really love, and allowing ourselves to be led. I can tell you about my own bitter experience. At school I really loved geography, but I was advised to go to university to study economics. And I became an accountant instead of following my dream and doing what I loved. Have you ever made a similar choice? Sometimes, only when you look back, you realize that you are not going your own way.

Successful people always know what they want to do and do not betray their passions. They tend to quickly make a choice and go their own way. And it doesn’t matter to them that someone may not support them and even consider them crazy. Look at Steve Jobs, the founder Apple, who dropped out of a prestigious university to pursue his dream.

Any success is always preceded by the fulfillment of a dream.

Guide to action

Realize your dreams

What are you dreaming about? What do you want to achieve? What dreams would you like to achieve?

Make a list of answers to these questions. And don’t just write – draw, draw. This will help you see connections between your ideas and discover long-forgotten goals and deepest desires. Here are some questions to help you:

What did you like to do as a child? Who did you want to become?

If you didn't have to think about making money, what kind of life and what business would you choose for yourself?

What in life do you love most and would like it to happen to you as often as possible?

What do you like to do in your free time?

What in the lives of your friends or colleagues might make you a little jealous?

Believe in the dream

Think about how to fulfill your dream, and at this moment observe yourself: have fear and negative thoughts appeared? Maybe, inner voice will tell you: “I’m too old and it’s too late to do this,” or “I’m married, I have a mortgage, I can’t change my life so dramatically,” or “My parents will never support me.” Successful people will confirm that there will always be reasons not to do something, but at the same time they will add that you need to gather all your will and courage, take the first step and start.

Create an algorithm for making your dreams come true

You will be surprised, and perhaps even frightened, to realize how much you need to do to achieve your dream. The remaining 99 chapters of the book will help you find the tools and decisions needed to overcome this fear. Your main task is to figure out how to fill the gap between the stage you are at now and where you want to be. This is not easy, and therefore I advise you to attract help from your loved ones, ideally to unite your dreams: together you will definitely be able to make them come true.

2. Ask for help

Anyone who takes himself too seriously runs the risk of appearing ridiculous; the one who is able to constantly laugh at himself never seems funny.

Vaclav Havel

It takes determination to say, “I don't know,” but it's a very good reaction and a clear sign that you don't take yourself too seriously. One of the most remarkable qualities is the ability to honestly admit that you have No answer. Trying to be perfect will only frustrate and disappoint you. If you do not hide your insecurities, then there will definitely be people ready to support you.

Too many people act as if they know exactly what to do in situations that, in truth, are beyond their control. Too many people try to talk or act like they are confident when in reality they need help. Both at home and at work, we are often forced to act as if we can give answers to all questions at any moment.

And the secret is to say in time: “Wait a minute, I don’t know what to do yet.”

When life challenges us, we are impatient to respond, and we stand up for what has already been said and of which we were confident. At the same time, we blindly do not notice other opinions and proposals. Successful people are always ready to admit that they were wrong or didn’t know something.

Life is unpredictable and changeable. It is impossible to be always right about everything. Sometimes the best thing to do is to calm down, step away from the problem, agree to accept help, and stop taking yourself too seriously.

Trying to be perfect will only frustrate and disappoint you.

Guide to action

Find your weak points

Consider the question: “Have you ever stubbornly stuck to your views and opinions, refusing to reconsider a situation in which you might be wrong?”

What do you not notice and why? Do you always adhere to the algorithms of your behavior? Do you really need to out-argue your interlocutor? Is it true that you never take into account what people younger than you say? Do you hate losing and always set yourself up to win by any means necessary?

Then be prepared to change the way you act and become more open to new things. Take for example any ordinary day when you make decisions, defend your opinion, answer questions, and try to ask yourself: “Am I missing something? Is there something here that I don't see?

Need a "jester"

Discovering your weaknesses is not easy. Ask family, friends, or co-workers to be your “court jester.” Just as it happened in the Middle Ages at the royal court, your “jester” at the right moment will be able to directly tell you that you are too stubborn, or exposing yourself to ridicule, or too serious about yourself. Would you rather have a “jester” tell you what’s wrong, or be laughed at?

Learn to laugh at yourself

Successful people are great at being ironic about themselves – their mistakes and wrong train of thought. Be prepared to happily admit your mistakes and make fun of yourself.

3. Create your future

The future is not something we enter into. This is what we create.

Leonard Sweet

Successful people never rely on chance or luck. Perhaps, looking at such a person, you think that he is just lucky. He was probably in the right place at the right time. In fact, even the smallest success is the result of many hours, and sometimes many years of preparation and hard work.

It is not enough to just dream and make plans to make your dreams come true. In order to move from plans to action, you need to convince yourself that it is you who create your own future, and not luck or fate that determines what happens to you. You need to tune in to this way of thinking and control yourself. Prepare to be persistent, work hard, sacrifice a lot, take risks and just do what you need to do.

Never deny yourself and don’t give up your life to the will of the waves. As a coach, I have seen many people give up any attempt to influence their future. They refused personal responsibility for themselves, coming up with various dubious excuses for this, and blamed bad luck or other people for all the failures that happened to them and may still happen. The easiest way is to convince yourself: since success hasn’t come yet, it means it won’t happen. But if you really want a decent future, then you need to overcome this fatalistic way of thinking.

Many very successful people have had to overcome a lot of adversity along the way to their goal. For example, Winston Churchill suffered long political failures before becoming one of the most outstanding prime ministers in British history.

To stop letting your past influence your future, the first thing you need to do is start thinking differently. The main thing is what you think and feel. Can you tell yourself, and more importantly, believe that you are creating your own future? Or, as William Ernest Henley's poem "Unbowed" so vividly puts it, that you are "the master of your own destiny"?

Even the smallest success is the result of many hours, and sometimes many years of preparation and hard work.

Guide to action

Don't let anyone clip your wings

Find those who will support you, the environment in which you can create your future. This can naturally relieve you of the need to communicate with people who do not accept or doubt your plans.

Do you find it difficult to believe that you can create your own wonderful future? Overcoming limitations that prevent us from believing in something is never easy. But it’s easier to do this if you understand where doubts grow from.

Right now, write down everything that stops you on the path to your dream. It's completely normal to fear the worst or assume that problems are worse than they really are. Once you write it down, try to reframe your view of these negative factors and look at them positively. For example, if you were fired, consider that in this way you were given freedom and the opportunity to find something better.

Take stock of your plans and dreams, and then ask yourself, what are you most worried about? Think about the worst thing that could happen and try to answer honestly what the likelihood is that it will happen. Is this a good enough reason to stop and stop creating the future you long for?

4. Show emotional intelligence

Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.

Charles Swindoll

Have you ever blamed yourself for reacting rashly, getting angry too quickly, being jealous, or getting irritated easily? Losing control over your emotions can ruin your chances of success in life. This is sometimes the difference between successful and unsuccessful people.

Manifestations of low emotional intelligence can be observed everywhere: someone swears on the bus, someone yells at a child in front of passers-by, someone curses their boss with the last words, throwing their resignation letter on his desk...

Meanwhile, emotional intelligence is a necessary component of a harmonious life. This is the basis of being a good parent, partner or colleague. And vice versa - with a reckless reaction you can destroy in one moment successful career, marriage, family or own business.

Of course, the easiest way is to mock people, as, for example, the famous chef Gordon Ramsay does when he screams and swears in his “hellish TV kitchen.” But to ensure success in life, you cannot upset, upset or intimidate anyone. And for this you need to learn to control your emotions. Even when it is impossible not to get upset or angry, do it consciously without losing control of yourself. Don't allow thoughtless reactions. After all, you can’t live all the time apologizing for your spontaneous emotional outbursts.

The ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes and look at a situation through their eyes is a sign of high emotional intelligence and developed empathy. People who know how to put themselves in other people's shoes rarely lose control of themselves, and this helps them cope with everything that life brings.

Emotional intelligence is a necessary component of a harmonious life.

Guide to action

Pause before you react.

Do not react to what is happening instantly and automatically, because you may regret it. This behavior implies honest confession not the best feelings experienced at the moment - jealousy, resentment or anger. In these moments, before you react out loud or even mentally, pause.

Don’t say anything for a couple of seconds and, if you are standing, sit down, because sitting we are always more restrained and calm. Even when you are expected immediate reaction, take time by saying, for example: “Let me think a little.”

Our overly emotional reactions are a consequence of fatigue, overwork or stress. When helping people as a coach, I always advise them to sleep with the problem and respond the next day. If, for example, you need to send someone an unpleasant letter, and you find it difficult to do so, it is always better to prepare a draft and wait a day, giving yourself time to re-read what you wrote and think about it again before sending it.

Be sensitive to others

Understanding how others feel and what others are trying to tell you is an amazing ability. We remember people who possess it for a long time, and it is for this reason that we love them. What behavior inspires you?

Truly empathizing does not mean waiting until you finally understand the other person. We must strive for this understanding. Of course, it takes effort to dedicate your time to someone, pay attention to them, ask how they are feeling and whether they are coping with everything. Never forget about the people close to you. Appreciate them. Try to find time to talk with children, parents, colleagues.

Nietzsche F. Untimely reflections: Schopenhauer as an educator // Nietzsche F. Works: in 3 volumes. T. 2: The Wanderer and His Shadow. M.: REFL-book, 1994. Note. lane

Published in Russian: Goldsmith M., Reuter M.. Triggers. Form habits - build character. M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2016. Note edit.

William Ernst Henley is an English poet. The mentioned poem was written in 1875; in the canonical translation it ends with the phrase “I am the master of my destiny, I am the captain of my soul.” Note lane

Gordon James Ramsay is a famous British chef who owns a chain of pubs and restaurants in the UK and abroad, the total value of which is estimated at $163 million. He is the author of 14 books, including two autobiographies. Since 1998, he has been a popular presenter of British culinary television shows, the most famous of which are Kitchen Nightmares and Hell's Kitchen. Note ed.

Nigel Cumberland

Do not be sorry about anything. And 99 more rules happy people

Published with permission from HODDER & STOUGHTON LIMITED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

* * *

No one can build you a bridge over which you can cross the stream of life - no one except yourself. True, there are countless paths and bridges; there are demigods who want to carry you across the stream - but only at the cost of yourself: you would have to give yourself as collateral, lose yourself. There is only one path in the world that no one can follow except you; where does it lead? Don't ask - follow it!

Friedrich Nietzsche

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith

As I already noted, it is not easy to become what you want to be. Nigel's book will give you the chance to overcome the challenges that are holding you back.

Read it, take action. And feel the difference!

Marshall Goldsmithauthor of the bestseller “Triggers. Form habits - build character"

Introduction

What does success mean to you? And what kind of success do you need?

The very concept of success is associated with achieved goals, realized dreams, aspirations that led to the desired result.

It takes a lot to achieve so that one day, looking back on the path you have traveled, you can say: “I lived my life successfully.”

This book is a guide on the path to achieving your goals, whether they are bold and great or modest and even mundane.

Think right now what it means to you to be successful:

Get a higher position;

Succeed as a leader;

Lose weight;

Jog in the mornings;

Become a writer and get published;

Live until retirement healthy;

Raise good children and see them create their own families;

Calm down and live in peace with yourself;

Pay off your mortgage in full;

Learn something new;

Always follow your heart and don’t regret it;

To be surrounded by wonderful people;

Learn a foreign language;

Completely defeat a serious illness;

Accumulate a certain amount of money;

Do what you love and do not experience constant stress from work;

Be happy, content with what you have.

One hundred chapters of this book will help you achieve success, no matter how you imagine it and no matter what area of your life it is connected with:

Work and career growth;

Relationships and family creation;

Personality and character;

Well-being and finance;

Health and peace of mind;

Training and education;

Retirement and what you leave behind.

Who am I to teach success?

Nigel Cumberland

Do not be sorry about anything. And 99 more rules of happy people

Published with permission from HODDER & STOUGHTON LIMITED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

* * *

Friedrich Nietzsche

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith

As I already noted, it is not easy to become what you want to be. Nigel's book will give you the chance to overcome the challenges that are holding you back.

Read it, take action. And feel the difference!

Marshall Goldsmithauthor of the bestseller “Triggers. Form habits - build character"

Introduction

What does success mean to you? And what kind of success do you need?

The very concept of success is associated with achieved goals, realized dreams, aspirations that led to the desired result.

It takes a lot to achieve so that one day, looking back on the path you have traveled, you can say: “I lived my life successfully.”

This book is a guide on the path to achieving your goals, whether they are bold and great or modest and even mundane.

Think right now what it means to you to be successful:

Get a higher position;

Succeed as a leader;

Lose weight;

Jog in the mornings;

Become a writer and get published;

Live until retirement healthy;

Raise good children and see them create their own families;

Calm down and live in peace with yourself;

Pay off your mortgage in full;

Learn something new;

Always follow your heart and don’t regret it;

To be surrounded by wonderful people;

Learn a foreign language;

Completely defeat a serious illness;

Accumulate a certain amount of money;

Do what you love and do not experience constant stress from work;

Be happy, content with what you have.

One hundred chapters of this book will help you achieve success, no matter how you imagine it and no matter what area of your life it is connected with:

Work and career growth;

Relationships and family creation;

Personality and character;

Well-being and finance;

Health and peace of mind;

Training and education;

Retirement and what you leave behind.

Who am I to teach success?

I got married, and to this day I live in a happy marriage, raising two amazing children: my son is now 16 years old, and my adopted daughter is 24 years old;

Going to Cambridge University and then, when I was just 26, becoming a regional finance director for one of the UK's biggest companies;

Make your travel dream come true and live in eight countries in 26 years;

Participate in the creation of a successful company and sell it for several million dollars;

Become a famous writer and speaker;

Find the opportunity to do what you love and help others by working as a coach at Silk Road Partnership;

Learning to live in harmony with myself, being content with what I have, is probably my most important achievement.

All that remains for me is to wish you all the best on the way to your cherished goal. The ideas and exercises you will find in this book will help you achieve the success in life that you deserve.

1. Follow your dreams

Life will be much better if you do what you truly love. People who do what they love enjoy their lives much more than others simply because they follow their dreams.

Richard Branson

Any success is always preceded by the fulfillment of a dream. As a coach, I have worked a lot with successful people, and all of them, in one way or another, came to success by achieving at least one of their dreams. Sometimes it was a childhood dream, sometimes it came later, but in any case, the achievements of these people were associated with a dream come true. It was she who, once captivating them, encouraged them to action, inspired them. A dream, becoming a goal, made me believe in the impossible, change my life in the most unpredictable way, leave my comfort zone and take risks even in a situation where it was difficult to imagine.

Nigel Cumberland

Do not be sorry about anything. And 99 more rules of happy people

Published with permission from HODDER & STOUGHTON LIMITED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith

As I already noted, it is not easy to become what you want to be. Nigel's book will give you the chance to overcome the challenges that are holding you back.

Read it, take action. And feel the difference!

Introduction

What does success mean to you? And what kind of success do you need?

The very concept of success is associated with achieved goals, realized dreams, aspirations that led to the desired result.

It takes a lot to achieve so that one day, looking back on the path you have traveled, you can say: “I lived my life successfully.”

This book is a guide on the path to achieving your goals, whether they are bold and great or modest and even mundane.

Think right now what it means to you to be successful:

Get a higher position;

Succeed as a leader;

Lose weight;

Jog in the mornings;

Become a writer and get published;

Live until retirement healthy;

Raise good children and see them create their own families;

Calm down and live in peace with yourself;

Pay off your mortgage in full;

Learn something new;

Always follow your heart and don’t regret it;

To be surrounded by wonderful people;

Learn a foreign language;

Completely defeat a serious illness;

Accumulate a certain amount of money;

Do what you love and do not experience constant stress from work;

Nigel Cumberland

Do not be sorry about anything. And 99 more rules of happy people

Published with permission from HODDER & STOUGHTON LIMITED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

* * *

Friedrich Nietzsche

Introduction by Marshall Goldsmith

As I already noted, it is not easy to become what you want to be. Nigel's book will give you the chance to overcome the challenges that are holding you back.

Read it, take action. And feel the difference!

Marshall Goldsmithauthor of the bestseller “Triggers. Form habits - build character"

Introduction

What does success mean to you? And what kind of success do you need?

The very concept of success is associated with achieved goals, realized dreams, aspirations that led to the desired result.

It takes a lot to achieve so that one day, looking back on the path you have traveled, you can say: “I lived my life successfully.”

This book is a guide on the path to achieving your goals, whether they are bold and great or modest and even mundane.

home » Earn money online » For inner harmony it is necessary