A scene in a science lesson. Sketch for schoolchildren. (A play from school life). Types of funny scenes
The main characters of these sketches are schoolchildren and teachers. A KVN business card can be easily assembled from these scenes. It can be used in the KVN game, or can be shown in any school concert.
Scene “At the graduation”
Loud trendy club music is playing. Several people are dancing. The girl dances the most energetically.
GIRL: Parents are gone! It's time to have a blast! Let's stick out! Let's go crazy! Let's create a riot of elastic bodies!
GUY: Elena Nikolaevna, I understand you very much. But let's wait until the kids leave!
Sketch “An Incident at a Romanian School”
Teacher and children. The children seem to be sitting at their desks.
TEACHER: So, the results test work. Ionescu - five! Petrescu - five! Curtain - five! Ceausescu - three. Dracula. (the teacher takes out two aspen stakes connected by a cross) Dracula - count!!!
Scene “A Very Vigilant Security Guard”
ANNOUNCER: Nowadays in every school you can meet such a person.
A guy in a black jacket and a black cap is sitting on a chair. It should be clear that this is a security guard. He gnaws the seeds.
An armed guy comes out from the wings. Machine guns, grenades, knives - all this should be very noticeable. He passes the guard. At the last moment he stops him by the hand.
GUARD: Gotcha! What did you think, you’re just going to go through me?! I'm not just sitting here. I'm sitting here just for people like you. Do you think I didn’t notice... - your left sneaker is dirty! Keep some shoe covers for you, and next time you’ll come with a change of shoes.
Sketch "Alcoholics Anonymous"
Four people are participating: three guys and a girl. They stand in a semicircle, like at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. At the end it will become clear that these are three male teachers and the school principal, but at the beginning this should not be revealed to the viewer.
GUY 1: My name is Nikolai and I'm an alcoholic
GUY 2: My name is Vasily, and I'm an alcoholic
GUY 3: My name is Igor and I'm an alcoholic
GIRL: Comrades, I understand everything, but work, physical education and life safety must be taught at school. One quarter left - be patient. And then do what you want!
Scene “Once upon a time in the school cafeteria”
There is a saleswoman and a schoolboy on the stage.
SCHOOLBOY: I only have gastritis, intestinal disorder and dysbiosis
SALESMAN: What kind of gastritis?! What disorder?! Where have you come anyway!? This is the school cafeteria!
SCHOOLBOY: Okay, let's go the usual way: soup, pasta with gravy and jelly.
Scene “In the Pharmacy”
A pharmacist and an advanced school student - a tablet computer in one hand, a smartphone in the other.
SCHOOLBOY: Girl, good afternoon, I need coal.
PHARMACIST: Activated?
SCHOOLBOY (with a grin): I am the winner of the city Olympiad in computer science! Let's have a demo version. If I like it, I’ll activate it myself.
Scene “In the school library”
A librarian sits behind the counter. He's reading something. Three teenagers come in. They approach the librarian.
GUY: Us, please. 3 hamburgers, 3 fries, 3 cokes.
LIBRARIAN (whisper): Children, this is a library!
GUY: Got it, I'm not a fool. (further in a whisper) We'd like 3 hamburgers, 3 potatoes, 3 Coca-Colas, please.
Scene “At Physical Education”
ANNOUNCER: And records are being broken in our gym right now.
The screen opens. There are two girls on stage. One with with great difficulty doing a classic push-up. The second one helps her: she counts
GIRL 2: 98, 99, well, a little more...100!
Girl 1 is breathing heavily, coming to her senses
GIRL 2: Katya, you are cool! Do you even realize how many push-ups you did! But we won’t stop there! We will gradually increase the load! Tomorrow, let’s start counting not from 98, but from 96!
That's all for now. Eight short dynamic skits are enough for a five-minute performance in KVN.
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The skit “Whose help is better?”
King.
Alina, Polina, Evelina are the daughters of the king.
King(to daughters). Today I walked through our palace and was simply horrified: a complete mess! Books are lying on the floor, shoes are on the windowsills, and clothes are on the beds! And everywhere there are candy wrappers! So I decided to start cleaning today. And I want to ask you: how will you help me?
Alina. This is how I will help. When you start cleaning, I will turn on the record player and put on your favorite record “Kings Can Do Anything.” With this a cheerful song You'll get the cleaning done in no time!
Pauline. I'd better turn on the TV. The program “Visiting a Fairy Tale” will be shown there. I will watch it carefully and retell everything to you. And you will clean the entire palace fabulously quickly!
King(turning to Evelina with a sigh). What will you turn on?
Evelina. I'll turn on the vacuum cleaner. No, first I'll put all the things in their places. Then I’ll take a broom and sweep away all the garbage. Then I will remove the dust with a vacuum cleaner. After this, I will wipe the window sills and all furniture with a damp cloth. And when everything is clean, we will all sit down together and watch TV.
King. Well, now I found out that I only have one real assistant!
Scene “At the Doctor’s”
Characters
A student with a briefcase stands in front of the doctor's office. He is undecided.
Student. What to do? To go or not to go? What if he kicks you out? No I'm not going. Yes, but what about the test? No, we have to go. Was not! (He takes a towel out of his briefcase and ties it around his head. Then he knocks on the door.)
Doctor. Yes, yes, come in!
Student(enters). Can?
Doctor(writes something, then stops writing, looks at the student). Come in, come in, sit down. What are you complaining about?
Student. Feeling very unwell.
Doctor. Specifically, what hurts?
Student. Head. Stomach. My ear is blocked. I don't hear anything and I don't understand anything. Then there is dizziness, blood pressure and palpitations.
Doctor. The temperature is?
Student. Yes, yes! Thirty eight and eight. Or forty-four and four. I do not remember.
Doctor. It's clear. Do you remember your last name?
Student. No, I don’t remember... I forgot.
Doctor. And forgot your name too?
Student. Yeah. And patronymic. Because my head hurts.
Doctor. I also forgot what class you are in and what school?
Student. Class... I think sixth grade. And I completely forgot about school.
Doctor. OK. Open your horn wider and say: “Ah-ah.”
Student. Ah-algebra.
Doctor. What is "algebra"? Is there a test today?
Student. No, tomorrow. Oh, no, I don't remember.
Doctor. Hmm yeah. (Looks at the student over his glasses.) A very difficult case! You can't go to school. I'll have to stay at home for two weeks.
Student(delighted). At home?
Student. What about English?
Doctor. It is forbidden!
Student. What about geography?
Doctor. In no case!
Student. Can I go to the cinema?
Doctor. Didn't I say? Necessarily! Twice a day - morning and afternoon!
Student. Thank you very much!
Doctor. Cheers! All. You can go.
Student. Goodbye. Oh, and a certificate?
Doctor. What certificate?
Student. Exemption from school. You didn't give it to me!
Doctor. Ah, liberation. No, unfortunately, nothing will work out!
Student. Why?
Doctor. How can I write you a certificate if I don’t know your first or last name, or the school where you study!
Student. Oh, I think I'm starting to remember.
Doctor. Well done! What's the last name?
Student. Kitties.
Student. Vasya! That is, Vasily Egorovich.
Doctor. Very good, now remember your class, school.
Student. Sixth “b” grade, school number twenty-five.
Doctor. Now remember about algebra.
Student. What algebra?
Doctor. About the one on which there is a test tomorrow. Do you remember?
Student. I remembered.
Doctor. Amazing! See how quickly you recovered for me! And you don’t even need any certificate! Or is it still necessary? For the headmaster of school number twenty-five?
Student. No need.
Doctor. Then bye. Kotikov Vasily Egorovich. Yes, don’t forget to take the turban off your head, it doesn’t suit you!
The student takes the towel off his head and leaves.
Scene “Grandmothers and grandchildren”
Characters
Two grandmothers.
First grandmother. Hello, my dear! Let's go for a walk in the park.
Second grandmother. Why, I haven’t done my homework yet.
First grandmother. Which lessons?
Second grandmother. Nowadays it’s fashionable to do homework for your grandchildren. I want to try it, although it’s probably not pedagogical.
First grandmother. Why is this not pedagogical? Yes, I’ve been doing homework for my grandchildren all my life. If you have anything, ask me, I have a lot of experience.
Second grandmother. Well, if it’s not difficult, check how I learned the poem: “By the Lukomorye there is a green oak tree, a golden chain on that oak tree...”
First grandmother. So good.
Second grandmother. “...Both day and night, a learned dog...”
First grandmother. What other dog?
Second grandmother. Well, I don't know what breed he is, maybe a Doberman Pinscher?
First grandmother. Yes, not a dog, but a learned cat! Understood?
Second grandmother. Ahh, I got it, I got it! Well, then I’ll start first: “Near the Lukomorye there is a green oak tree, a golden chain on that oak tree, day and night a learned cat... goes to the grocery store with a string bag.”
First grandmother. With what string bag? Which grocery store? Learn the poem again.
Second grandmother. Oh, I still have so many lessons! One grandson is in the sixth grade, and the other is in the first. His teacher asked him to bring the cash register to school.
First grandmother. Which cash register? From the store, or what? Don't involve me in this matter!
Second grandmother. Well, what does this have to do with the store? The cash register is the alphabet. Okay, I’ll do it myself, and you help me solve the problem.
First grandmother. So... (takes the textbook, reads) “... two pipes are connected to the bathtub...” Remember, in order to solve the problem, you need to clearly imagine what it says. “There are two rough connections connected to the bathroom...” - did you imagine?
Second grandmother. Yes, yes, I did.
First grandmother.“...Water pours in through one, pours out through the other.” Did you imagine?
Second grandmother. Presented! (Running away.) I imagined!
First grandmother. Wait! Where are you running to?
Second grandmother. The water is pouring out! Maybe the whole floor will be flooded...
First grandmother. Calm down. In fact, the water does not pour out. This is only mentioned in the problem! Now tell me, when will the bath be filled?
Second grandmother. It will never be filled. They said it themselves - the water doesn’t flow...
First grandmother. Goodbye. You will go to the hospital with you. And my homework has not yet been done: I need to conduct an experiment in botany - grow beans.
Second grandmother. Oh, yes, yes, I remember you took beans from me.
First grandmother. Why, these beans are not growing! Apparently of poor quality...
Second grandmother. How low quality? Well, do good to people! You could say that she tore the beans away from herself and took them out of the soup.
First grandmother. Wait, wait, how - from soup? It turns out I was the one who grew the boiled beans? Thank you for being friendly...
Second grandmother. Well, I didn’t know why you needed beans, don’t be offended!
First grandmother. What do you think, if you and I continue to study so hard, maybe they’ll give us some kind of grade?
Second grandmother(whispers). Between us, it has already been installed.
First grandmother. Yes? And what is the assessment?
Second grandmother."Kol"!
First grandmother. Why such a bad rating?
Second grandmother. Because we are minding our own business.
First grandmother. Adults do everything for the children, and then they are surprised: “Oh, they are growing up with little white hands!..”
The old ladies are leaving.
Scene “The Enchanted Letter”
Characters
Denis. One day Alenka, Mishka and I were playing in the yard. It was before the New Year. A Christmas tree was brought to our yard. She lay there big, furry, and smelled so deliciously of frost that we stood there like fools and smiled. And suddenly Alenka said:
Alenka. Look, there are DETECTIVES hanging on the Christmas tree!
Denis. Mishka and I just rolled!
bear. Oh, I'll die laughing! Detective!
Denis. Well, it gives: detective work!
Bear. The girl is five years old, but she says “detective”. Oh, I can't! Oh, I feel bad! Oh, water! Give me some water quickly! I'm about to faint! (Falls and laughs.)
Denis. Oh, I even started hiccupping from laughter! Ick! Ick! I'll probably die now! The girl is already five years old, soon to be married off, and she is a detective!
Alenka(offended). Did I say correctly! It’s my tooth that has fallen out and is whistling. I want to say “detective”, but I whistle “detective”.
bear. Just think! Her tooth fell out!.. I have three that have fallen out and one that is loose, but I still speak correctly. Listen here: giggles! What? Isn't that great? GIGGLES! I can even sing:
Mikhail clubfoot
Walking through the forest
Khykhki collects
And he puts it in his pocket.
Alenka(shouting). Ah-ah-ah! Wrong! Hooray! You say “hykhki”, but you should say “detective”!
bear. No, you have to - “hey”!
Alenka. No, detectives!
Bear. No, heck!
Alenka. No, detectives! (Obarevut.)
Denis. I laughed so hard that I even got hungry. I'll go home now. These are the weirdos! Why are they arguing so much, since both are wrong? It's a very simple word. No “sleuths”, no “huffs”, but short and clear: “fucks”! That's all.
Based on materials from the film magazine “Yeralash”
Sketch “Day of Helping Parents”
Characters
Anton. Mother.
Three of Anton's classmates.
Anton appears on the stage. He wipes off the dust with a rag, sweeps the floor with a brush, while dancing and singing: “My baby, I miss you...”.
Mom comes in outerwear, freezes in place.
Mother. Anton, what happened?
Anton. Nothing happened, mom. Let me help you undress. (Helps me take off my jacket.)
Mom enters the room and notices that the dust has been wiped off.
Mother. Have you wiped off the dust? Myself?
Anton. Myself.
Mother. Tell me honestly, Anton, what happened?
Anton. Nothing happened.
Mother. Am I called to school?
Anton. No...
Mom walks around the room and notices that the floor has been swept.
Mother. Have you swept the floor? Myself?! Incredible... (Puts her hand to her forehead, checking to see if she has a fever.)
Anton. Mom, don't worry. I washed the dishes and did my homework.
Mother. I did my homework... I beg you, Anton, tell me what happened? (Grabs his heart and sits down on a chair.)
Anton. Well, I’m telling you: nothing happened! The doorbell rings. Three children enter.
1st. Good evening! How was Helping Parents Day?
2nd. So, cleanliness, order. Wiped off the dust, swept the floor...
3rd(opens the magazine). Check mark! (Ticks the box with a pencil.)
Anton. Helping Parents Day, Helping Parents Day! Look what your Helping Parents Day has brought people to! (Points to mom.)
Children surround their mother on all sides.
1st(vigorously). Valerian! Water! (Counts the drops.) 23, 24, 25! (Gives mom a drink.) How nervous all mothers are! It was necessary to first explain that this was just for one day and tomorrow everything would be the same!
Sketch “About the kitten who couldn’t read”
Characters
Yasha is a kitten.
One day Murka's cat, Yasha's mother, said to the kitten:
Murka. It's time for you, Yasha, to learn to read.
Yasha. I'll still have time!
Murka. There's no point in being lazy. Let's start right now. Sit down, I'll show you the letters.
Yasha reluctantly sits down.
Murka. Let's start with the simplest letter - "O". (Shows the letter "O".)
Yasha. Some kind of circle...
Murka. Yes, it looks like a circle. This letter is called "O". Repeat!
Yasha. This letter is called "O". What words contain this letter?
Murka. In many. For example, in the words “cat” and “cat”. (Shows cards with words written on them.)
Yasha. What about the word “kitten”?
Murka. And in the word “kitten” there are even two letters “O”. Here look. (Shows a card with a written word.)
Yasha. See see! Two mugs! How about three? Are there three letters "O" in words?
Murka. Certainly. There is such a good word - “milk”. (Shows card.)
Yasha. Is it true! Three whole circles! Does the word “ice cream” have this letter?
Murka. Eat. And also three. Here look. (Shows card.)
Yasha. Good word! And in two ice creams, that means there are six letters “O”. And at three...
Murka. Don't talk nonsense! And in general, we don’t have arithmetic now! That's all for today. Go for a walk!
Yasha. What a good letter! And it happens in the best words! And the most delicious!
Yasha approaches the screen on which hangs a sign with the inscription: “Caution! Angry dog!"
Yasha. What a beautiful sign! And there are three words written on it... And in the first word there are whole... one, two, three, four... Wow!
As many as four letters "O"! Wow! There must be something very tasty or pleasant here!..
The kitten looks behind the screen. A deafening bark can be heard from there. Yasha jumps out from behind the screen, tears off the sign and runs to his mother.
Murka(seeing Yasha excited). What happened to you? Why are you so disheveled and shaking all over? What's happened?
Yasha. Mom, I was walking, I saw a fence, there was a beautiful sign hanging on the fence (hands the sign to mom), three words were written on it, and in the first word there were as many as four letters “O”! I thought that there must be something very tasty or pleasant there...
Murka. So! I understand everything! This is what happens when you can't read! Do you know what is written on this sign? "Carefully! Angry dog!".
Yasha. Yes, it’s written correctly, the dog is really angry... You know what, mom, let’s learn the rest of the letters!
Sketch “Word Game”
Characters
Petya is a son.
Two boys - one older, the other younger - go on stage and sit on chairs. In hands - pictures and pencils.
Peter. Dad, draw me something.
Dad. No, we will take turns drawing and playing words at the same time.
Peter. Like this?
Dad. That's how. We will come up with words starting with some letter and depict these words with pictures. Let's take the letter "P" for example. I start. (Draws a briefcase and shows.)
Peter. It's clear. And I’ll draw... (draws a steam locomotive).
Dad. Well done! The locomotive is like a real one! And I came up with this... (draws and shows a belt).
Peter. But you can't wear a belt! He doesn't start with the letter "P"!
Dad. And this is not a belt, but a belt!
Peter. Great idea! Then I’ll draw... (draws and shows a cat).
Dad. But you can’t have a cat, it doesn’t start with the letter “P”!
Peter. And this is not just a cat, but Fluff!
Dad. Oh, you cunning one! Fine. I will draw... (draws and shows a portrait).
Peter. Who is this?
Dad. It's nobody. It's just a portrait.
Peter. Great. And I’ll draw... (draws and shows his uncle).
Dad. And who is this?
Peter. It's nobody. This is just a passerby.
Dad. Well done! And I'll draw a parrot. (Draws and shows.)
Peter. Great! And I'll draw a penguin. (Draws and shows.)
Dad. Look. (Shows the boy shown in the picture.)
Peter. Who is this? If it's a boy, it doesn't count.
Dad. Didn't you find out? After all, it’s Petya, that is, you!
Peter. Now I know! And I’ll draw... (draws and shows his uncle).
Dad. Who is this? If it's an uncle, it doesn't count!
Peter. Didn't you find out? It's dad, that is, you!
Dad. Now I know. And here's what I came up with. (Draws and shows a woman.) This is our mother. I drew her because she is a teacher and teaches singing.
Peter. Great! And this is what I came up with! (Draws and shows a calendar.)
Dad. Calendar? Why?
Dad. Right. And on this day we will present her... (draws a gift and flowers).
Peter. A gift is understandable. And the flowers? They don't start with the letter "P"...
Dad. So what? Mom will be pleased anyway!
At entertainment events, educational institutions, funny skits for schoolchildren are most liked by the audience. The need to stage such skits may arise at a school KVN, a class hour, or competitions for showing amateur performances. Who is the script for schoolchildren talking about? Of course, about exactly the same students, poor students, excellent students, teachers, class teacher.
Surely the schoolchildren themselves will be interested in staging a couple of such skits. It's very easy to play yourself.
Script for a funny skit about schoolchildren "Los students"
This sketch contains an instructive story for schoolchildren about the importance of fulfilling homework. Several elementary or middle school students take part in the funny production. They play the following roles: Kolya Petechkin - a poor student and a bully, Sasha Gavrilov - his bosom friend, Vitya Melnikov - an excellent student, two schoolgirls.
Props for the scene: a school desk with chairs, a wooden board, large prop buttons.
So, there is a desk on the stage. Two girls run out. Kolya Petechkin, chasing them, jumps out behind them with a plastic tube in his hands.
Girl 1 (shouting):
Stop it, Petechkin!
Girl 2:
Petechkin, stop it! Who are they talking to?
They are trying to hide from Petechkin at his desk.
Petechkin (selflessly spits papers through a straw):
And I will spit! And I will spit! La-la-la! I'm having so much fun!
Girl 1:
We need to do computer science, not mess around.
Girl 2:
Otherwise, Kolya, they will ask you today in computer science class, and you will get a bad mark!
(Both schoolgirls run away.)
Petechkin (stops spitting):
Computer science? That's right, the teacher promised to call me... What should I do? Oh, I'll try to get help from a friend! (Calls.) Sashka! Gavrilov!
(Sasha Gavrilov comes out.)
Gavrilov:
What do you want, Kolya?
Petechkin:
I need to copy computer science from someone. Maybe you can help a friend out?
Gavrilov:
I would be glad to help you, but, you know, what’s the secret: I didn’t do it myself.
Petechkin:
Eh, problem! How can that be, huh?
Gavrilov:
Do you know what?
Petechkin:
What?
Gavrilov:
Write to Melnikov.
Petechkin:
He won't give it.
Gavrilov:
How about you somehow manage...
(Vitya Melnikov appears with a notebook. He has an exemplary appearance, he wears glasses.)
Petechkin:
ABOUT! Melnikov! (Sarcastically.) Excellent student!
Melnikov:
Kolya Petechkin, poor student and truant! Gerasim, why did you drown Mu-Mu?
Petechkin:
I'm not Gerasim, I'm Nikolai.
Melnikov (sings with expression to the tune of a melody from the film “The Godfather”):
Why did Gerasim drown his Mu-Mu? She lay there and didn’t bother anyone! (He leaves proudly.)
Petechkin (following the departed Melnikov):
Oh, are you thinking of teasing? Well, I'll teach you a lesson. You'll let me write off computer science and the rest of my life...
Gavrilov (rubbing his hands):
Will it work on medications?
Petechkin:
No! He will be afraid of me! (Takes out from behind the scenes a piece of wide wooden board.) This board will help me deceive him. Only you, Sanya, should help me in this matter.
Gavrilov:
Okay, what should I do?
Petechkin:
Confirm everything I say. (Puts the board under his sweater, presses it to his chest. Shouts backstage.) Hey, Melnikov! Come here! Melnikov! I'm telling you! Come here for a minute.
(Vitya Melnikov comes out.)
Melnikov (proudly):
What do you want, Petechkin?
Petechkin:
That's it, Victor, I have something to do with you.
Melnikov:
What business could you have with me?
Petechkin:
The most friendly. Help me out, eh? Don't let a person get lost. Let me write off computer science.
Melnikov:
Ah-ah-ah, that’s what you’re talking about. Do not even hope.
Petechkin (in a solemn bass voice):
Victor, then prepare to die! I’m not Kolya Petechkin, but you know who I am? You know? I am the Terminator!
Melnikov (dismissively):
What? You're completely crazy, aren't you?
Petechkin (pretentiously):
No. I just came from the future, from 2069. And I came with Miss...
Melnikov:
With what miss?
Petechkin (whispering):
Not with a miss, but with a mission. (Kolya corrects himself and continues calmly.) Yes, I came with a mission.
Melnikov (fearfully):
From which one?
Petechkin:
I must destroy you, since you know computer science well. And after many years you will know it so well that you will write a computer virus that will destroy all computers on the planet...
Melnikov (stammering with fear):
But I don't know how to write viruses...
Petechkin:
You will learn in the future. And no one will be able to cope with him, because you will program him with high artificial intelligence. And no one will be able to unravel the algorithm of its action, because you don’t let anyone copy it. Therefore, no one can fight him.
In general, "hasta la vista, baby"!
(Pretends to pull the trigger of a machine gun and takes a militant pose.)
Melnikov (cringes):
Oh, don't! Spare me. I have a mother and little brother...
Petechkin (menacingly):
Spare?
Gavrilov (questioningly):
Maybe we'll spare him?
Melnikov:
And I want to ask, what feelings do you experience when you feel like a Terminator?
Petechkin:
Strength and power throughout the body. (Offers.) Hit me in the chest...
Melnikov (hitting the board hidden under his sweater):
Oh! (Grinces in pain.) You're like bulletproof! Why do you have bad grades in physical education?
Petechkin:
I'm pretending.
Melnikov:
Well, do you see how, somehow in a special way?
Petechkin:
I can see perfectly, even in the dark. Just ask me any question.
Melnikov:
Well, let's say... (Thinks.) How are you?
Petechkin (pretends, shakes his head):
And before my eyes, as if on the monitor of an invisible computer, several possible answers appear at once. The first option is “I’m a fool myself,” the second (reads a malicious rhyme) - “How are you, how are you, I laid an egg!” The third one is “none of your business.”
Melnikov:
And which one will you choose?
Petechkin (solemnly):
The fool himself!
Melnikov (offended):
Petechkin, why did you call me names?
Petechkin:
And in the future you will call me a fool, so I already answered you. That's how invulnerable I am.
Gavrilov:
So, Melnikov, will you let me write it off? Otherwise the Terminator will destroy you.
Petechkin (fiercely):
"Hasta la vista, baby!"
Melnikov:
Don't, don't ruin it! I'll let you write off computer science.
Gavrilov:
And mathematics. These sciences are interconnected...
Petechkin:
OK?
Melnikov (salutes):
That's right, Comrade Terminator.
(Petechkin waves his fists in front of Melnikov’s nose, demonstrating his muscles. Girls appear behind them. They place buttons on the chair.)
Girl 1 (to viewers):
Petechkin was spitting papers. So we will take revenge on him.
Girl 2:
Let's teach him a lesson! Let's put some buttons on his chair. Let him sit! (Both girls run away.)
Petechkin:
Now I can sit on a chair! (Plops down on a chair, immediately jumps up and yells.) Ahh!
Girls:
Ha ha! Serves you right, little chocolate! (They run away).
Melnikov:
So you're not made of iron? (He takes out a board from Kolya’s bosom.) Oh, that’s how you are! I won't let you write it off! You have to do your homework yourself! (Leaves.)
Gavrilov:
Eh, Kolka, next time we’ll have to do our homework ourselves.
Funny skit for schoolchildren "In class"
Classroom is the ideal place to stage this funny skit for schoolchildren. Moreover classroom teacher can personally participate in it, but any student can play his role.
Characters in the scenario: class teacher (KR); Alekseeva and Fedotova - glamorous blondes, laughing schoolgirls; Semyonov is a typical excellent student, a bore; Nikitin and Vovan are dull schoolboy hooligans; Samoilova is a slack, candy-on-a-stick student who is always late.
The scene begins. The class teacher enters the classroom.
KR:
Okay, okay, let's go. (Everyone comes in except Samoilova.) So, is that all?
Alekseeva:
What do you mean, no, of course not! (Samoilova comes in.) That’s it now!
KR:
And this is from the whole class? Where are the other 18 people? Can anyone explain where everything is?
Semenov:
Well, if we take into account everyone’s address, walking speed, terrain and force majeure circumstances, then 47% are already at home, and another 53% are on the road.
KR:
Yes, it’s clear to a physical education teacher that they left, the question is why did they leave?
Semenov:
Well, if we take into account the character of the majority, the number of lessons today and force majeure circumstances, then 100% missed the class hour.
KR:
Okay, Semenov, Alekseeva, Fedotova - this is understandable, decent students, but why did you come, Nikitin? And he brought another friend with him.
Semenov:
Well, if you consider...
KR:
Semyonov, shut up!
Semenov:
No, I just wanted to say that under no circumstances should you...
KR:
So, Semyonov, here’s a book for you, read it, take notes. So, Nikitin, what is your destiny here?
Nikitin:
And Vovan and I just turned off the lights, you can’t play on the computer, you can’t watch TV, so we came from idleness.
Vovan:
And I'm really, really interested in cool problems.
KR:
Well, Nikitin, you are seriously unlucky that your lights were turned off! Tell me, why did you check the fire extinguisher in the toilet on Thursday?
Nikitin:
Well, we were told that if there is a fire, we must immediately extinguish it with a fire extinguisher.
Vovan:
Yes, you need to simmer it right away.
KR:
So where did you get the idea that something was burning?!
Nikitin:
Well, it smelled like smoke.
Vovan:
Yes, it smelled.
KR (screaming):
As if you don’t know what kind of smoke our toilet smells like!
Nikitin:
Are you talking about this? No, if someone wanted to do this, they would have called me.
Vovan:
Yes, they would have invited him.
KR (after waiting):
All clear. I have no complaints about you, Vova, just a question for Nikitin, what is he doing on our class hour a student from another class at another school?
Nikitin:
Oh, I told you, our lights were turned off, and Vovan also had nothing to do, so I took him to have fun, I need to help my friends.
KR:
Have fun! Well, the students went. Now to other others. Samoilova, not bad. There are no twos, no threes, no fours either... no grades at all! Samoilova, when will you start going to school? What are you sick with this time?
Samoilova:
In the encyclopedia of diseases, I reached the letter “G”. I have a headache.
KR:
I would say that you have an inflammation of cunning, but this, as Nikitin says, is a button accordion!
(The class applauds.)
Fedotova:
You just have to learn “IMHO” and Preved Medved and everything will be in chocolate.
Semenov:
I finished reading, took notes, and you know, I think that considering...
KR:
You don’t need to take anything into account, you should generally try to teach less, answer, give the floor to other students...
Semenov:
Yes, but this is from one point of view, psychology says that...
KR:
There's only one way out. Read another book for Semenov, take notes.
So, let's hurry up, we only have 15 minutes before Semenov finishes reading, we need to hurry.
Alekseev and Fedotov also received complaints about you! You talk in every lesson!
Alekseeva:
Yes, we're just on topic.
Fedotova:
Yes, of course on topic. (Giggle.)
KR:
And you laugh in class.
Alekseeva:
Yes you!
Fedotova:
No way (Giggle.)
KR:
Draw in your notebook!
Alekseeva:
Well, if only it’s a drawing book (And both burst into laughter. Everyone looks perplexed, like “Why laugh?”)
KR:
(Coughing, indicating that it’s time for them to stop) Actually, in a chemistry notebook.
Alekseva:
(Scratching the back of his head, thinking about what to lie.) So these are the drawings.
Fedotova:
Yes, okay, what’s there to hide, the chemist is such a sweetheart, he allows us. (They laugh again.)
KR:
Okay, there’s not much time left, Semyonov is already finishing reading, so tell me, who will make the wall newspaper?
(Silence.)
KR:
I think Nikitin is with his friend.
Nikitin:
Why us?
KR:
Well, your lights have been turned off, so you have nothing to do.
Vovan:
And I'm from a different school altogether.
KR:
Never mind. You said yourself that you are interested in cool problems. Besides, you need to help your friends. Whatman paper is in the closet. I’ll go, and calm down Semenov yourself.
It doesn’t take much time to prepare these funny skits for schoolchildren. Words are learned very easily, and in some places you can even improvise. By the way, such humorous scenes are well suited for summer camp. Before lights out, you can have fun and remember your time at school.
Funny scenes about the school have always been, are and, of course, will be popular, they display the brightest possible events of wonderful school years. Therefore, there are many funny skits that show the brightest school events.
Scene “wonderful medicine”
The action takes place in a chemistry lesson. The props require a desk, two chairs and a teacher's table with chemical supplies. Characters: Petya, Sasha and Marya Ivanovna. Two boys are dressed in school uniforms, the teacher first appears in a black robe with a staff, then appears in her usual form.
- Sasha, did you do your homework? - Petya asks his neighbor at his desk.
- No, I played computer games all day and almost until the morning! - Sasha answers.
- I was doing the same thing, I really want to sleep! – Petya answered, yawning loudly. By the way, bet I get an A today?
How is that? – Sasha is indignant. “You haven’t prepared anything at all, just like me!”
- It's simple! – Petya answered with a smile. – I read on the Internet that if you mix pop, yellow soda, green soda, a crow feather, a cat’s whisker, a tomato, green tea and a slice of chocolate, you get a wonderful potion, by drinking which you can manipulate people. I’ll drink it and tell Marya Ivanovna to give it an A, and she will! Do you want to try my medicine?
- Ha ha! Sasha laughed. - All this is nonsense!
- Well, if you don’t want to get an A, don’t drink! - Petya muttered.
- Okay, let's drink your dubious decoction, maybe something will work out! – Sasha agreed.
Petya drinks from the bottle with the “drug”, hands it to Sasha, who takes a sip.
- Ugh, what an abomination! – Sasha was indignant.
Drink-drink! A's don't come easy! – his desk neighbor grinned.
After drinking the decoction, the schoolchildren, who had not slept until the morning, lay down on their desks and closed their eyes for a second. Opening them, they saw Marya Ivanovna near the table in a long black cape with a staff.
- Marya Ivanovna! - Petya gasped. What is this strange outfit you have?
- Why is it strange? – Marya Ivanovna was surprised. – The most common outfit for the lord of darkness, very suitable for the ceremony of absorbing souls.
- What did you treat me with, you fool? – Alexander asked quietly and indignantly.
“This is probably a side effect...” Peter answered him in surprise and became thoughtful.
“Today I decided to absorb your souls.” “The teacher said, grinning. – It’s been a long time since I took souls from lazy people!
- I saw something like this in computer game! – Petya said in a whisper. “When the dark lord touches us with the tip of his staff, he can take our souls!”
- I play this game too! – Sasha supported. – In order to neutralize the dark lord, you need to move your hands in a circular motion and say the magic word “arakunada.”
- So, let's do this while our souls are still with us! - Peter exclaimed.
The boys move their hands and shout the word “arakunada”.
“This won’t save you, dears, because my staff works at a distance!” – the teacher shouted and swung her staff.
The boys fall on their desks and close their eyes. Opening their eyes, they see Marya Ivanovna without her robe and staff.
- Sanya, the spell is working, her staff and robe fell off, let’s do it again! – Petya joyfully proclaimed.
The boys shout the word "arakunada" and continue to move their hands. The teacher looks at them in bewilderment.
- What does this mean? – she asks indignantly. – Is this what you’re telling me about sodium?
- Calm down, dark lord! - Sasha shouted. You won't get our souls!
- It’s not your souls that I need, but your homework! – Marya Ivanovna laughed. - What kind of concert is it, boys? I go in and they are sleeping. I woke up - they were shouting strange words and waving their hands. Are you OK?
“Yes, yes, Marya Ivanovna...” Sasha answered, stuttering.
- So it turns out we all dreamed? – asked his seatmate. Listen, maybe at least the potion worked after all, let's try to force her to give us a high five?
- Yah you! – Alexander said offendedly and smiled.
Sketch “strange first-grader”
The main characters: a group of high school students, a teacher and a first grader. The only props you will need are markers.
The teacher walks down the corridor and sees how high school students are laughing loudly at their little first-grader.
- What's the matter? – the teacher was indignant. - Why do you offend someone who is younger than you?
And we don’t offend! - answered one of the crowd. - Look how stupid he is! We offer him to take either three markers or one, and he takes only one, saying that it’s better this way! If you don't believe me, look at it for yourself!
A high school student takes three markers in one hand and only holds one in the other.
- What will you take for yourself? – he asks the boy, laughing. – One felt-tip pen or several.
“I’d rather take one from you.” – the boy answers quietly, takes the felt-tip pen and puts it in his backpack.
- You see! – the high school student convinces the teacher.
The teacher takes the little student aside.
- Boy, why don’t you take three markers at once? – the teacher quietly asks the question.
“If I take away three markers at once, they’ll think I’m smart and the game will end.” - The boy answers. So, I’d rather be stupid, but with twenty markers! - takes out twenty won felt-tip pens from his briefcase.
Scene “school romance”
Characters: teacher Nina Semyonovna and student Kolya. The props you need are a sheet of paper and a pen.
Kolya runs up to Nina Semyonovna.
- Nina Semyonovna! - Kolya shouts. – I want to make a romantic card with my own hands and give it to a girl, please help me write a beautiful declaration of love.
- Who are you going to give it to, Kolenka? – the teacher asks in a whisper. – Probably Tanya from the parallel class? I see that all the boys really like her.
- No, not her! - Kolenka answers.
- Why? – Nina Semyonovna is surprised. Really, you don't like her at all?
“I like it, very much...” Kolya sighs heavily. “But now all the boys are hitting her on the head with their briefcases and pulling her beautiful braids, so she will soon be bald and stupid.” Why do I need such a wife?
Scene “without being late”
Characters: student Masha and teacher Lidia Mikhailovna. Props - a beautiful gold or gilded chain.
The teacher is preparing to start the lesson; fashionista Masha enters the class.
- Mashenka, I want to praise you! – the teacher is delighted. – You are very, very rarely late lately!
- Where should I go, Lydia Mikhailovna? – Mashenka answers, sighing heavily. My mother bought herself a gold chain from the last fashion collection, and now the one who wakes up first puts it on! – Masha adds and shows the chain.
Characters: student Vovochka and teacher Natalya Nikolaevna. No props required.
The teacher checks the student's homework.
- Vovochka, I want to compliment you! – says Natalya Nikolaevna. – You showed yourself very well in doing your homework, you have excellent creative thinking!
- Thank you, Natalya Nikolaevna! - Vovochka thanks. Can I give you a compliment too?
- Well, of course you can! – Natalya Nikolaevna answers.
—Your nails are so long and beautiful! – Vovochka says, examining the hand. – You must be very comfortable climbing trees!
Scene "at the meeting"
Characters: the student’s mother, student Kostya and teacher Elena Petrovna. No props needed.
The teacher and mother scold Kostya.
- Kostya, remember, you promised to study well, and I promised to make you the head of the cultural sector? - asks the teacher.
- I remember, Elena Petrovna! - Kostya answers sadly.
- Do you remember, you promised me to study well, and I promised to buy you a bicycle? - asks mom.
“I remember, mommy...” Kostya says quietly.
- So why don’t you study for “A’s”? - asks both the teacher and mother.
- Well, if you don’t keep your promises, I don’t think it’s necessary to keep mine! – exclaims Kostya.
And at various holidays, in addition to amateur performances, at which the vocal and dancing talents of classmates are clearly demonstrated, funny dramatizations, theatrical performances and skits are especially popular.
We offer a scenario comic school scene"Well-deserved appreciation", written based on the story of the same name by Konstantin Melikhan (thanks to the author!). Such a scene can be shown on any holiday: Day of Knowledge, Teacher's Day, March 8, or graduations.
Characters:
Teacher Maria Ivanovna (name can be any)
Pupils (it’s better to call the guys by their proper names; in this scenario, the names are conditional. There may be more or less of them)
School scene script
Maria Ivanovna: Denis, where do wood grouse winter?
Denis: They roam under the snow.
Maria Ivanovna: Interesting observation. Lera, what do you know about crabs?
Lera: Crabs... (waiting for a hint) These are fish... Similar to crayfish!
Maria Ivanovna: Sit down, already! Julia, What class does the cross spider belong to?
Julia: To the cruciferous class!
Maria Ivanovna: And our Yulia has all the flowers on her mind! Where do hamsters live? Kirill!
Kirill: At the pet store!
Maria Ivanovna: What are you saying?!!!
Rogov enters
Maria Ivanovna: Well, why were you late this time?
Rogov: I accidentally fell into a puddle, returned home to change clothes, and at the same time... had lunch.
Maria Ivanovna: And how did you eat? Sit down, my goodness! Well, since we're all here, let's listen to... Rogov! Learned?
Rogov: Learned.
Maria Ivanovna: Get started!
Rogov: Aloud?
Maria Ivanovna (menacingly): Rogov!
Rogov: Your smile is wonderful!
Maria Ivanovna (conciliatory): Well, well, Rogov, tell me.
Rogov: Your hair is always so neat! Not what I have.
Maria Ivanovna (embarrassed): Thank you.
Rogov: Your blouse is beautiful, it suits you.
Maria Ivanovna: Am I right, you haven't learned your lesson?
Rogov: Sorry, I didn't learn. You can’t hide anything from you... Of course, with such and such work experience! How long have you, Mary Vanna, been suffering with people like me at school?
Maria Ivanovna: Oh, Rogov, Rogov! Tell me, where do birds fly for the winter?
Rogov: There!
Maria Ivanovna: Well, sit down. Troika!
(Addresses to the class): Well, since Rogov distinguished himself so much for us, I’ll ask everyone. Now we will conduct a quick survey with you. Anya, what benefits do ants bring?
Anya: Ants protect fruits from caterpillars, and people then collect and preserve them.
Maria Ivanovna: Who knows why some birds fly south?
Fedya: And some are probably lazy!
Maria Ivanovna: Look, our Fedor has woken up! Where do whales live? Well!
In chorus: In China!
Maria Ivanovna: Well, you are on a roll with me today: the further you go, the more interesting it gets! How do pigeons reproduce? Rogov!
Rogov: Pigeons lay eggs and then hatch from them.
Maria Ivanovna: It’s good that it’s not cabbage rolls! Sit down, my dear... Julia, what are nature reserves?
Julia: Nature reserves are places where animals take a break from people.
Maria Ivanovna (walking around the class): Really? I didn’t even know! Where can I find a teacher reserve? Kirill, what skull bones do you know?
Kirill (waking up): Frontal, parietal and back of the head!
Maria Ivanovna examines the note taken from the girls.
Rogov (speaks to Fedor, his desk neighbor): There is no secret here: tell this kikimore a lie about her eyes and blouses, and she will relax!
Fedya: Hush, you will hear!
Rogov: Nonsense! Don't drift, she's two meters away and Ramstein won't hear!
Maria Ivanovna (takes his seat): Now let’s listen to Rogov.
Rogov: You already asked me...
Maria Ivanovna: And I’ll ask you about an old topic. Tell us about...
Rogov: Your smile is wonderful...
Maria Ivanovna: What else?
Maria Ivanovna: Closer to the topic!
Rogov: You have the figure of a top model!
Maria Ivanovna (looking at his figure doubtfully): So you don’t know anything at all!
Rogov: You are just like Messing, you see everything, you know everything! And why did you go to school to work? You're spoiling your nervous system because of people like me. Tomorrow is a holiday: You should go to a spa salon, but here you are ruining your health! And even better - go to the sea, read poetry, meet a good person!
Maria Ivanovna: Well, sit down, Rogov. Troika...
