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Even if you don’t have children, you still know very well what children’s whims are. A loudly screaming baby on the bus, a heart-rending scream in the store, not wanting to leave the candy counter, a child roaring all over the street, dragged along by an angry mother - all this is only a visible part of the problem. The main place for hysterics is, of course, home and family. Very often, parents helplessly shrug their shoulders as to why in kindergarten he is an excellent and calm child, but at home he is immediately hysterical and whimsical. Before yelling or punishing a child, it is necessary to determine the cause of the hysteria. Why are children capricious? Let's try to consider the main reasons for whims:

1. Whims in infancy, as a rule, are due to discomfort: due to wet diapers, hunger, loud noise or uncomfortable position. The most important thing here is to determine the correct cause and eliminate it in time, but if you have already changed the diaper, fed it, rocked it in your arms, tried all the remedies, then it is best to consult a qualified pediatrician.

2. Also, children of any age often become capricious before illness. If your baby suddenly becomes lethargic and moody, immediately go home, take your child’s temperature and do something calm. It will be very good if you give him tea with raspberries or honey. Monitor his health.

3. Another common reason for whims is it's time to sleep. It is enough to put the child in bed and now he is already asleep. But sometimes not everything is so easy, which means you need to look for another reason. Let's look further.

4. The purpose of whims is very often attracting attention, and when there is no one around, there is no need to cry. Therefore, if a child notices that you remain indifferent to his hysteria, he may calm down. The main thing here is not to give in to his persuasion.

5. Children sense the mood of others quite subtly. Therefore, often the cause of whims can be tense situation at home, swearing, quarrels between parents. Scientists have already proven that the atmosphere in the house influences the formation of the baby’s character from his very birth. Even if you smile sweetly at him, he still feels that something is wrong here.

6. The word "cannot". There are two options. The first is when parents never say this word. In response to any prohibition, the child throws up a terrible scandal, beating the floor with his hands and feet. Persistent attempts to calm him down only make things worse, and he begins to squeal even more. Then, most often, the parents make concessions and give him what he demands, and this only aggravates the situation. And option two. The child always hears the word “no”. He is prohibited from everything, at first he observes these prohibitions, obeys his parents, but soon his patience breaks and he begins to defend his rights, and this irritates his parents even more. And this vicious circle can last for months and even years.

7. Another fairly common reason for whims is research “what would happen if ...”. For example, “What will happen if I go there? It is forbidden? But I’ll go anyway!” But you must understand that these are not whims, this is a kind of knowledge, the child is growing and he is interested in exploring the world. If you calmly and firmly explain everything to him, then soon (it varies for different children: from a couple of months to two years) you will find that the baby clearly understands what he can and cannot do.

Now you know the main reasons for hysterics and can easily understand why are children naughty, and also easily soothe your beloved baby. Just remember, you first need to determine the cause of the whim, and only then try to act in one way or another.

When raising a child, stick to the golden mean. He must understand that not all of his desires will be immediately fulfilled.

Be consistent in your actions. Do not prohibit today what was allowed yesterday. Calmly explain why he can’t do this. And make sure that both you and your husband adhere to the same method: if dad said it’s impossible, then it’s impossible.

Teach your child to be independent. Put away toys, get dressed - he must do everything himself. This will help him be responsible.

The tantrums will stop if the baby understands that whims are not the best The best way achieve what he wants and the parents’ task is to help him achieve this. Good luck!

There are situations when parents have done everything seemingly possible, but the child still cries. Fatigue turns into despair, and thoughts appear about the infinity of this phenomenon.

Why is the baby being capricious?

The baby grows, and his needs grow along with him. Even if he has recently eaten and drunk, he may still be thirsty or hungry. The mother needs to put the baby to the breast; if he sucks greedily, it means that the cause of the tears was hunger.

Why is the baby being capricious? The cause of whims may be colic. When a child presses his legs to his stomach, then sharply straightens them, tenses and clenches his fists, while crying loudly - this is nothing more than colic. In order to help the baby, you need to massage his tummy. The massage is elementary: move the palm clockwise, and then take the baby in your arms and press his tummy to your chest. The baby will calm down when the gases come out and the pain stops.

The child’s nervous system is not fully formed, so it cannot cope with a large flow of information. The baby is capricious before bed due to the fact that during the day he received too much a large number of impressions. Perhaps there were guests in the house and the child became very excited. In order to relieve stress before bed, you need to give your child a warm bath. Herbal tea and the calm behavior of the mother, who should not be nervous and lash out at the baby, help. Mother should sing a lullaby in a gentle voice.

Baby is fussy during feeding

Children, just like adults, and perhaps to a greater extent, are very weather dependent. The baby is capricious during feeding because he has a headache. If a child throws his head back too much, it means he is worried about intracranial pressure, which causes headaches. In order to help the baby, you need to visit a good pediatrician who will determine the cause of the crying and, if necessary, prescribe appropriate medications.

Crying and moodiness may appear due to illness. If the baby does not have a fever or other signs of a cold, this does not mean that he is not sick. Perhaps this is just the first stage, which will soon develop into something more.

Baby is cranky in the evenings

Children are the flowers of life, especially when they are in someone's hands. Every parent knows that a child is not a doll, but a little person who is one hundred percent dependent on adults. Having a baby is a huge responsibility. We need to make sure that he doesn’t get sick, doesn’t go hungry, doesn’t get cold, and that he gets enough of everything, including attention. When the first, second, third and subsequent children appear in the family, parents realize that they no longer belong to themselves. Because everything they do is done for the sake of the children.

Why is my baby cranky in the evenings? Since newborn children cannot express their needs in any way other than crying, this means that any tears and whims indicate that some of the baby’s needs are not being met. Hunger, cold, heat, thirst, pain, lack and excess of attention can cause hysterics and crying.

The baby is constantly naughty

In fact, babies are not capricious, because capriciousness is an unmotivated desire and whim. The crying of a baby is a call that should show an adult that the baby is uncomfortable and needs help.

The baby is constantly capricious due to lack of warmth, dryness and comfort. Mom needs to strictly ensure that her baby has a dry diaper. If your baby has a wet diaper, it needs to be changed, especially if he has emptied not only his bladder, but also his intestines.

The child cries so that his mother knows that he wants to eat. In the first month, the baby sleeps constantly and wakes up only because he wants to eat. In order to calm the baby, you need to change his diaper and feed him.

An addition to the family is a great happiness for parents. When the birth goes well and the child develops according to age norms, the mother is rarely bothered by the child’s capriciousness. Parents cannot get enough of it when their baby grows up calm and flexible. Moms and dads get used to it, and it seems to them that it will always be like this. But suddenly everything changes. The child began to be capricious, often cries, and cannot be persuaded. This often happens towards the end of the first year of life. Why is this happening?

Whims of children under 1 year

To understand whether a child under the age of 1 year can be capricious, we suggest understanding the psychological characteristics of the baby’s development:

  • Newborn crisis

The crisis manifests itself between birth and 2 months. This is a very important stage in the development of a child. And the timely occurrence of a crisis is the norm. Your child should react to the approach of an adult, make sounds (vocalizations) when communicating with his mother, and respond with a smile. Weight loss is the main sign of a crisis.

  • Infancy

This is the second stage of development of a child up to one year old. Most often it appears from the second month to a year. At this time, the baby communicates through emotions. And it is important for parents to pay great attention to communication. Gradually, the baby pronounces the first words and explores the world through actions with objects in the environment.

Crying and babbling during this period indicate a desire to establish contact with an adult. And when the child begins to speak independently, the crisis is over.

Having studied the most important psychological characteristics of children during this period of development, we will try to figure out whether the whims of a child under one year of age carry something serious.

What are whims? Can a newborn baby be naughty?

Whims mean various whims and stubbornness. At an early age, the child’s basic needs and feelings of discomfort are hidden under the guise of whim. Sometimes, when mothers call their baby under the age of one year capricious, they misinterpret the definition itself. After all, the crying and restlessness of a child at such a tender age is the only way communication with relatives. There are no words in their arsenal, gestures are also still poorly expressed - all that remains is to roar. And there may be several reasons for frustration. The first, natural ones - the child wants to eat, his diapers are wet, or he is cold. It is also possible that the baby asks for help when something hurts. A caring mother will immediately help the baby.

It often happens that a joyful and festive day spent brightly with the baby ends in the child’s whims and tears. He refuses to fall asleep, is overly agitated and difficult to calm down. This behavior for children 10-18 months old is the result of nervous overstrain that they experienced. Their tears are a natural way to relieve stress at this age. After all, a noisy company, new faces, bright colors and unusual sounds - all this turned out to be stressful for the baby. That's why he gets irritated, cries, and is capricious. In such a situation, it is necessary to show maximum care and patience to the child. You won't be able to make him calm down with shouts and threats. It’s better to hold the child close to you, carry him in your arms, and do pleasant procedures for him: bathe him in a warm bath or have a light massage session. All this will help the baby relax and calm down faster.

Similar worries and whims may arise in a child in another situation, when parental prohibitions come into force. For almost a year, the baby was limited to the walls of a playpen or stroller; he was surrounded only by familiar things. As a child develops, he or she develops needs to learn new things. He didn't know anything else and was content with that.

Crawling and making his first attempts to get up from the floor and walk on his own, he thereby expands his horizons and learns a lot of new things. Not understanding the danger of surrounding objects, the baby explores everything with interest. He has a natural desire not only to examine, but also to touch with his hands, test the strength and taste a new object. This behavior certainly provokes a reaction from parents. And most often it is of a forbidden nature in the form of shouting and taking away the thing you like.

They raised their voices, took away the “tsatsu” and even took it away interesting place back to the playpen. In this case, how can the child express his indignation and desire to continue research in the new world? Only by screaming. For now, this is the only thing he can do to attract attention to himself and his natural need to learn new things. No compromises in the form of old toys or pacifiers suit him.

Leave to the discoverer something that will bring him joy. Something that can be moved, stacked, or will allow you to extract new sounds from objects. After all, unsightly empty boxes, lids, saucepans and ladles are much more interesting than bright, but already boring toys.

Another reason for a child’s sudden irritation may be difficulties in developing speech. The baby is growing, but his speech does not keep up with his development. New desires to do something or attempts to convey their emotions result in mooing or stretching out their hands. Parents do not understand his “hints” and do not come to help. How, besides words, can you draw attention to yourself and the problem that has arisen? Again children's screams and whims. They may manifest themselves in refusal of the usual bathing or using the potty, to which the child is already accustomed. Everything that was previously pleasant to the baby and he willingly accepted it, can now cause him dissatisfaction.

The most effective remedy in this situation is time. You should not scold your child for his whim and insist on your own. Give him time to forget about the unpleasant incident and after a while, repeat your attempts.

Note to moms!


Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me too, and I’ll also write about it))) But there’s nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method helps you too...

How to overcome children's whims

With all his behavior, the child shows that he expects understanding from adults. Changes in a child’s behavior sometimes confuse adults and make them want to immediately stop the outrage and whims.

Whims, screaming and crying are not ordinary disgraces that should be stopped immediately. This is another signal from the child that he is waiting for understanding and reaction from adults. He is looking for a way to control his parents to get what he wants. Everything is used: screams, tears, biting, hair pulling, fighting. And if it works, then this behavior will become the norm, and the child will solve his problems only in this way. This cannot be allowed. And if you do not react to incorrect behavior and show the baby that you will not achieve anything by whims, then he will begin to change and stop crying and being capricious.

In some situations, learn not to pay attention to the child. Sometimes it happens the best solution question. A child may stop fussing and crying more quickly if there are no people nearby trying to calm him down. The presence of spectators and sympathizers only intensifies the whims and crying of the baby. After all, even some adults like to “perform” in public, let alone children.

  • Many parents are mistaken in believing that the baby needs to be caressed and carried more. It is not true! Most often, children who are surrounded by excessive affection become capricious. Psychologists advise not to go to extremes. Yes, the baby needs your attention and affection, however, he must also understand that mom and dad cannot carry him in their arms 24 hours a day. They also have their own needs;
  • Permissiveness and unlimitedness. From a very early age, a child should know words “No”, “No”, “Stop” . This will be an additional incentive for the baby to be disciplined in the future. The presence of these concepts in education will save both the baby and the parents from unnecessary whims. (Reading on the topic: ) ;
  • The constant attention of elders often becomes the cause of children's whims. By nature, a child cannot communicate exclusively with elders. He begins to get tired of the obsessive behavior of adults. Give your little one more freedom. Let him play by himself, take a walk outside with other mothers, talk to them. And the kids will exchange gestures and smiles with each other in the stroller;
  • Don't go overboard with the previous point. A complete lack of attention will also negatively affect the psychological and emotional state of the baby. With screams and whims, he will demand the attention of loved ones;
  • Inconsistency and lack of unity of requirements interfere with the child’s adaptation to the world around him. To avoid this, agree with relatives on a single line of upbringing. Watch your attitude towards your child. If you allowed something yesterday and forbade it today, then you need to explain to your child why you are doing this. Regardless of the fact that he is still very small. He will understand everything on an emotional level.
  • The most popular whim is in the evening, when it’s time to go to bed. The baby just can’t understand why, instead of an interesting game of football with dad, he has to sleep. To make evening whims a thing of the past, an hour before bedtime, cancel all outdoor games - let it be reading a book or watching a cartoon. By the way, children’s programs like “ Good night, kids” - they act as a signal for sleep.

What should the parents' reaction be?

For example:“Little Vova reached into the closet and took out a glass decanter. The kid doesn't know how to use it. Vovochka dropped the decanter. He crashed."

What should a mother do?

A bad example would be shouting and swearing at a child! It's better to do this: “Vovochka, I was so scared! I was very, very upset! You could get hurt, then I would cry for a long time (grimaces)! Please remember that touching my things without permission is prohibited!” The last phrase is pronounced in a stern voice, indicating a prohibition.

There are many such examples. Remember that your child’s whims largely depend on you. (now we are not talking about when something bothers the baby). The most difficult time in raising a child under one year old is the first month. It is completely normal for a newborn baby to cry and be capricious just like that for up to two hours a day. Don't worry, every month you will understand your baby more and more. Love your capricious baby!

From the forums: how to respond to the whims of a child under one year old?

Lyuba Melnik: God bless you, what vagaries at this age. You need to understand the child, if, as they say, such a child is capricious, then there is a serious reason: he feels unwell, is anxious, is hungry.

Nellie: The child is not capricious, he either gives you a sign that he has a problem somewhere or attracts your attention, since he cannot tell yet.

Alyonushka: Well, what kind of whims are these? The child is not even a year old. he is capricious because something is bothering him. he just can't say.

list: kiss, hold him close, carry him in your arms, be with him always and enjoy everything he does...

Vinakova: Children under one year old are not capricious and certainly do not “work for the public”! They give signals that something is bothering them. We big aunts and uncles sometimes feel uncomfortable and want to cry to someone, what can we say about the kids who know nothing about this world? And how to cope with what worries you - cry, of course!

Iris:Patiently figure out what the reason is. Babies don’t do things to spite us - if she whines or is capricious, it means something is wrong: she wants to eat, drink, sleep, play with mom, something hurts, she reacts to the weather, etc. Sometimes, of course, there are nerves They can’t stand it, but we need to control ourselves…. the more nervous and irritated we are, the more the child cries….

Lelya:I believe that you can’t always flow to a child. You have to give it to him and shout. When my son starts crying about what he is not given or when something is forbidden, I still insist on my opinion. He screams, sees and understands that he has not achieved anything with his scream and next time he will be more calm about the prohibitions. Children are very cunning and smart. They very quickly realize that they can manipulate adults and immediately begin to take advantage of it. We must not allow the child to become the master of the situation!

Verunchik: In my opinion, a baby under one year old still does not know how to be mischievous and act out whims. If a baby is crying, it means he is really worried about something. My son just doesn’t know how to cry out of spite, he’s 1 year 3 months old.

It is not too correct to say that the baby is capricious. A whim, according to Ushakov’s dictionary, is a whim, an unmotivated desire. Whereas a baby cries only if he is uncomfortable and needs something. What exactly a crying baby needs needs to be determined by its mother. In reality, there are not many reasons for crying. Not all of them, however, are easily removable.

Desire for comfort

There can be several reasons for a baby's crying. Among them, the simplest and most common is a wet diaper. Intuitively, the baby wants to be warm and dry. As soon as he feels that he is uncomfortable, he will call his mother. Especially if this feeling prevents him from sleeping. The only way to call my mother is to cry. Therefore, the mother’s first action to calm her down is changing the diaper.

Hunger

If the baby is hungry, he will definitely tell his mother about it by crying. In the first month of his life, a child most often wakes up from hunger. In fact, it is in order to eat that he wakes up. After all, urination, for example, occurs in a dream. Therefore, after changing the diaper, the baby needs to be fed.

Pain

Pain is also a feeling of discomfort that the child needs to be helped to cope with. The causes of pain can be different. This could be intestinal colic or teething. If the baby's diaper was changed, he was fed, but he does not stop crying and cannot sleep, then most likely the reason is pain. If the baby is 1-3 months old, then the pain is more likely associated with colic. In this case, you should apply a warm diaper or heating pad to the baby's stomach, massage the abdomen clockwise and give medications for infant colic.

Crying from toothache is more likely when a baby is over 5 months old. In this case, painkillers will help.
For the baby, breastfeeding itself gradually becomes something more than just a way to remove hunger. It is also a method of natural pain relief. Therefore, a slightly older baby may ask for the breast not only from hunger, but also to calm down and reduce pain, including dental pain.

Desire for communication

The desire for physical contact and touch is not just a baby’s whim, but his vital need. Therefore, the baby can be well-fed, dry, nothing hurts, but he continues to cry. This happens because he wants attention and communication. In this matter it is necessary to find a “golden mean”. It is ideal for the baby to be in the arms of the mother around the clock. But it is quite clear that this is impossible. Therefore, the mother must find the necessary balance so that the baby has the opportunity to be in her arms, and she herself can do the necessary things. Both the bias towards constant hyper-care for the baby (the mother drops everything and always immediately runs to the child at the slightest cry), and ignoring the baby’s need for communication leads to the formation of a capricious child.

In any case, you first need to eliminate the simplest reasons for the baby’s possible crying and whims - a wet diaper and hunger. If the suspected cause is pain, then one should not expect an immediate effect from the measures taken to alleviate it. Reducing it can be difficult and time-consuming. Sometimes you just need time and the care of your beloved mother for the baby to calm down.

Sometimes even the calmest and most obedient children begin to act up. By the way, how often a child is capricious is influenced by the parents’ attitude towards this. Yes, children's whims are stressful not only for child, but also for parents. Still, when your child begins to behave this way, try using a few tips.

You will need

  • Patience, firmness and love

Instructions

When your child begins to act up, take him in your arms and kiss him, but do not reward him with anything. If this doesn't help, leave it alone and go about your business. After all, an audience is needed to continue the performance.

There should not be many prohibitions, and they must be relevant. But if you have forbidden something or threatened something, be sure to carry it out. From time to time, the child will test your strength, and if you give in even once, the baby will literally twist ropes out of you. Agree on the same with the rest of the adults in the family: it’s worse if mom forbids something, and grandparents indulge their whims. Then child complete scope for manipulation. Also because of this is parental authority.

All sorts of rituals and a once-established daily routine are very helpful in establishing smooth, calm relationships. So, it’s good to start waking up with kisses or games, and go to bed with a fairy tale or lullaby, so that the child knows that good and interesting things await him. Your departure and arrival can also be accompanied by a ritual. Always explain exactly when you will return (“when you sleep, play, eat”), kiss before leaving, sometimes bring something tasty or interesting with you.

note

Remember that good parenting should be in moderation!

Helpful advice

And in all cases, be calm and remember: in most cases, children’s whims arise precisely because of a lack of attention to the baby.

All parents know that every child can be capricious, even the quietest and most well-mannered. For example, if the baby is hungry, wants to sleep, tired or sick. But in fact, all these reasons are only superficial, and real whims hide much more serious reasons. The “root” lies in the family in which they are raised child. To properly raise a whim, you need to understand where the parents are wrong, what the baby responds to with whims, and ultimately ensure that both parties are happy.

You will need

  • - the child’s favorite toys

Instructions

Don't forbid your child everything. Of course, he must know and understand the word “impossible.” But there should be only a few of these “not allowed”, the most necessary ones. If a child is constantly forbidden to do everything, he will eventually begin to protest and vice versa on purpose. Ban what is truly dangerous for him, his health and life.

Don't allow your child to do everything. Many people know the model of upbringing, in which a child is allowed everything up to a certain age. But the child must know that it is possible, as well. Since he is a member of society, a child from childhood must take into account the opinions and feelings of others. Otherwise, the child may grow up to be selfish.

Maintain harmony in family relationships. Very often, whims are a reflection of the family situation. The baby grows up in an environment of constant swearing and quarrels, naturally, his psyche suffers from this. At the very least, try not to quarrel or sort things out in front of child.

Try to hear yours child. Try to understand what the child wants to convey to you by being capricious. Perhaps there is something more serious behind it. For example, a serious disease of the nervous system. Monitor the child’s condition even after the whims are over. It is possible that you should visit a doctor.

Teach child express your feelings verbally, without resorting to whims and screams. Works well for this own example. Try to be present more often child talk about how you feel. You can organize a theater with your baby’s favorite toys, which will tell each other about their feelings and how to behave in society. As a rule, children often listen to the advice of their toy friends.

Discuss a common educational methodology with your family and friends. That is, if one of the family members forbids something to a child, then the rest should also prohibit it. Very often children are capricious if, for example, a mother forbids something to the child, and a father allows the same thing.

If a child is fussy in a public place, but you still cannot calm him down, calmly take the baby in your arms and go somewhere less crowded. Talk calmly to your child. Let him speak and calm down. Explain that you understand his feelings, but now you cannot give him what he wants (for example, if you are worried about a new toy from the store).

Video on the topic

note

It is very important not to confuse your baby's whims with his desire to explore the world or do something on his own. It happens that a child wants to eat himself with a spoon, but the parents take the spoon away because the baby does not yet know how to eat carefully on his own. Hysteria begins. But on the other hand, how will the child then learn to eat on his own? There are many such examples. Allow your child to explore the world around him, guide him, and do not prohibit him. If necessary, you can only back him up.

Helpful advice

When a child is naughty, always talk to him calmly and quietly. Never yell at your baby, much less hit him when he is naughty. This has not yet helped any parent cope with the whims.

Related article

Sources:

  • Articles on child psychology

Children's whims... As all parents know. Just funny, honey child suddenly he began to cry, scream, it was impossible to calm him down, he was practically uncontrollable. Why is this happening? Why child capricious?

Until the baby began to walk, his world was limited to a crib and playpen. Everything was safe and accessible inside this small space. But here child the legs and boundaries of his world expanded significantly. The baby's field of vision includes objects that could cause him harm. An electrical outlet, a glass vase, behind which various interesting things are hidden. You never know in the house there are things that are very interesting, but at the same time fraught with danger. And so child hears “you can’t.” And he really wants to take it, touch it, knock it, climb it. And he begins to scream, cry, demand that he be given what he wants. Of course, it is best to prevent such a situation. Try to remove all breakable objects away, put plugs on sockets, and keep cabinet doors closed. But, of course, you can’t provide for everything, and it’s impossible to hide all the things in the house. In this case, you need to gently but firmly say that this is not possible, and try to switch his attention to something else. Under no circumstances should you follow your own child’s lead. If the baby understands that he can get whatever he wants by screaming and bawling a little, it will be difficult for you to forbid him anything in the future. One of the reasons for whims is the child’s malaise. He may have something, but the baby is not able to explain what’s wrong with him. So he cries, refuses to play, throws away his toys. If your child became capricious for no apparent reason, it is necessary to measure the temperature, carefully examine the child and, possibly, call a doctor. Whims may arise due to overwork or excessive excitement. Often the baby is capricious in the evening, when he is tired and it’s time for him to sleep. This happens especially often if the day was eventful or in the evening child played active games with others. Try to calm the child down, give him a drink of warm water and put him to bed early. Sit next to him, pet him, sing a song. The little capricious one will calm down, fall asleep, and have a sweet dream. And in the morning you will no longer remember the whims.

Video on the topic

Most often, parents are faced with children's whims when the child is going through another age crisis. One of these periods is the “three-year crisis.” At this time, the baby becomes uncontrollable. He does not obey, gets irritated, is capricious and often cries.

Instructions

While walking or visiting a store, your child demands to buy him a toy, a ball, etc. At the same time, having received a refusal, does he whine, stomp his feet or fall to the ground? Don't rush to respond to your child's behavior. Try to take his place and listen to the baby. Perhaps he is tired from the day's impressions, or is simply trying to attract your attention in this way. Try to wait it out, allowing your baby to express his disappointment and anger. Then you can say, “I can see that you are really upset. The car is really good. Let's come and take a closer look at her?" Often the child is quite happy with this decision. Most likely, he didn’t need another car, but his mother’s attention and affection. The baby will calm down, and you will be able to calmly explain to him exactly why you can’t buy this toy. Offer your baby others possible options: buy it another time, ride on the carousel, etc.

To make your child capricious, try to give in to him in small things. But stand firm in your position on issues related to the safety and health of the child and other people. Treat him like an equal. Tell your baby thank you, ask permission, always explain where you are going with him and why. Let your child do everything on his own, providing help only when he cannot cope. Never criticize him for awkwardness and mistakes. If a child refuses, for example, to collect toys, offer to do it together. Most often, kids happily respond to such a call.

Sometimes children act up out of boredom. A small child does not always know how to occupy himself, and therefore begins to whine and cling to “mother’s skirt.” Dedicate more time to your child and encourage him/her to show initiative. Whims are often triggered by hunger and fatigue, both physical and emotional. To avoid this, always plan all your activities, games and walks with your baby so that you can feed him and put him to bed on time.

Every parent faces the whims of their child to one degree or another. The baby is angry, sulky, does not hear your requests, reacts with refusal or crying to all persuasion. Try to remain calm and figure out why this is happening.

Instructions

First, try to analyze what the whims are connected with. After all, with this behavior the baby shows that he feels bad: scared, hurt, hurt, lonely, etc. There may be several reasons, and the decision will depend on them. Children aged 2-3 years often act up in order to test their parents' reaction. This way they try various ways impact on dad and mom. React to your child's behavior calmly, but do not follow his lead. Give reasons for your requirements for your baby, the main thing is to be consistent. If the baby understands that he won’t achieve anything by whims, then after a while he will become uninterested in testing you.

One of the reasons whims There are too many restrictions and prohibitions. The baby is trying to explore the world around him, but he hears constant “no”. He is forbidden to jump quickly, scream, throw him into a puddle, touch the neighbor's dog, etc. How can one not rebel and not be capricious! Think about it: is everything you refuse really dangerous? Try to reduce the list of restrictions and offer your baby an alternative more often. For example, instead of stones, throw balls crumpled up from newspaper, throwing them into an empty box. Explain that you can play with someone else's dog only after asking permission from its owner. Baby don't have lunch - don't insist. Nothing bad will happen if he eats a little later, when he’s had enough of playing.

Communication with parents is necessary for a small child. Being capricious, he tries in this way to attract your attention. Try to communicate more with your baby: play together, read, go for a walk, involve the baby in household chores that he can do. If he, when he does something poorly, support the child, offer your help. Even if you are very busy, choose time during the day to devote only to him. Remember that communication between a child and his parents at an early age is the key to a trusting, friendly relationship between them in the future.

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The difficult stage of childhood whims, as a rule, begins in a child at 2-3 years old. In order to respond correctly to the behavior of the baby, parents first of all need to understand that this is a difficult, but necessary for the baby, period of growing up.

Instructions

A child’s disobedience and stubbornness are not always whims. Try to look for other similar behavior in your baby. The most common are lack of parental attention and boredom. In such a situation, whims are a way to attract the attention of mom and dad, communication with whom the child needs like air. Remember that everything is concentrated in parents small world baby, and they are his main people. Do not brush your child off, even if you are tired, not in the mood, or busy. Do everything together, together, because you can find a home activity that even a little one can do. Don't leave your baby alone with his problems: when something doesn't work out for him, he gets sad. Be ready to help, encourage him, and praise him.

A common cause of whims is many prohibitions and restrictions. Train yourself to use the word “no” as little as possible when communicating with your child. Let it concern only really dangerous things that threaten the life and health of the baby or other people. In other cases, say: “don’t do it,” “do it wrong,” etc. Before categorically prohibiting something, try other ways: explain, switch attention, hug, interest in something else. The main thing is to be consistent in the rules you set for your child. Then he will lose the desire to test you with whims. Outdoor games and active walks will help your baby realize unspent energy and quickly restore his mood. fresh air.

And finally, do not forget that the baby has the right to be naughty sometimes. For example, if something hurts, he is tired, his clothes are in the way or his new shoes are uncomfortable, or perhaps someone has offended him. Always be calm and attentive to your baby, and you will be able to survive a difficult period of whims, avoiding fatal mistakes in raising a child.

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The excessive desire of parents to indulge all children's whims gives rise to a little commander who is accustomed to achieve what he wants through demands and hysterics. How to avoid this?

A huge mistake in parenting is indulging in whims. They are much easier to endure than all the subsequent ones. If a child is disobedient and behaves almost inappropriately when demanding something, this means that the parents once unwittingly encouraged such behavior.

How to re-educate a capricious child

The best way to eliminate unwanted behavior is to show the child that his whims are just childish tomfoolery and inappropriate pampering. The ideal solution is to ignore it. If a conflict situation arises, you need to:

  1. Keep calm
  2. Don't get into an argument with your child
  3. Nothing to prove
  4. Outwardly indifferent to antics
  5. Don't scream or hit the baby

During hysterics and whims, it is impossible to prove anything to a child. It’s better to just remain silent and limit yourself to the occasional “no.” And when he calms down, it’s time to start home negotiations. There should be no shouting or rudeness on the part of the parent. It is enough to tell the child about the feelings he experienced: how upset he was, how you want him to behave more maturely and not repeat such antics.

What are the benefits of this simple approach?

When whims happen for the first time, it will probably end pretty quickly. Children learn such lessons and no longer try to manipulate adults. However, attempts can sometimes be repeated, especially by adopting the experience of peers who beat anything out of their parents by throwing tantrums. But soon the child will stop behaving this way. He will know that such a number will not work in his family.

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It can be very difficult with children sometimes. They whine a lot, play around, cry and, it seems, openly mock us. It is doubly difficult if at this time you are in a public place, where, in addition to a hysterical child, you are bombarded with numerous glances and comments from others.

Any whim of a child is an unmet need. The same unsatisfied and same needs that are inherent in us adults. And the only difference between adults and children is that young children do not yet know what to do with this frustrated (unsatisfied) need.

· They don’t yet know how to realize it

They don't know how to talk about it

· They can't ask for help

· They don’t know how and don’t even know yet that their emotions and desires can be restrained and hidden

For this, they have parents who must help them with this. Find out what is happening and reduce the discomfort as much as possible. This is precisely the main role of a parent and an adult in general. And it’s not at all about punishing and “educating.”

Let's look at examples.

Always so calm and obedient, two-year-old Vanechka is just some kind of fiend today. He screams, whines, kicks. And the reason is the neighbor's hammer drill. Vanechka slept this afternoon, but restlessly and anxiously, he was unable to fully rest. Mom didn’t take this into account, and people in the visibility zone don’t have to know it. But we must understand that the boy behaves so ugly not because he is a bad boy, but because for some reason he is uncomfortable now.

Five-year-old Masha often offends her younger sister, and she constantly cries, whines, and is capricious. I don't have enough strength. What the parents didn’t do: they scolded, and talked, and punished - nothing helps. But Masha simply does not feel the love of her parents after the birth of her sister. All their attention is given to the youngest, they cooze with her, they are tender with her. But Masha is already an adult, she already has to cope with a lot on her own.

At the age of seven, Oleg’s parents simply shower him with gifts, since his family’s income allows him. But every time in the store Oleg is hysterical: he whines, then screams, swears, begs for more and more toys. Why? If we dig deeper, we find out that Oleg’s parents only buy what they think is necessary. They never ask, what does Oleg himself want? After all, he always wants something completely different from what is “right” and beautiful.

Even the notorious spoiling (this happens less often than adults think, but still occurs) is a child’s need for boundaries. Yes, don’t be surprised, the child has a need for boundaries. It is with her help that he learns to adequately perceive this world and find his place in it.

Thus, we see that behind any child’s whim there is some unsatisfied need. You just need to be attentive to your children, look at it, find out and, if possible, eliminate it. And then everyone will be fine: both children and parents.

A large number of parents, and especially three-year-old children, often encounter situations in which the child begins to act up almost out of the blue. He can show his whims and hysterics everywhere - at home, in the store, while playing with other children. What to do with this behavior of a three-year-old child, and what is it connected with? Let's try to figure this out.

Your child is 3 years old and is often capricious and freaks out? Perhaps he has grown into a skilled manipulator. Very often children become capricious from those parents who indulge them in everything. It is in this way that kids try to achieve what they want, and, it should be noted, they always succeed.
But there is another answer to the question of why a 3-year-old child is capricious. It's called the three-year-old crisis. Don't be alarmed, this phenomenon is not as scary as it might seem. We will talk further about how to overcome the age crisis in a baby.

What to do if a 3-year-old child has constant tantrums

So, what is the three-year crisis? This is the time when your children first begin to become independent and experience new sensations, desires and needs. Frequent tantrums in a three-year-old child are associated with the fact that he opposes himself to his parents and wants to do something to spite them, to show his character and show that he is also an adult.
Important: According to psychologists, you just need to endure this period of time, since after a few months the constant hysterics in a 3-year-old child go away.
Parents will need help and attention to the baby, as well as compliance with simple rules of behavior:

  1. Treat appropriately the fact that a three-year-old child throws tantrums. Do not be offended or angry with the baby, and do not show aggression under any circumstances. A sincere desire to help him overcome this difficult period for him is necessary.
  2. Stay calm. If your three-year-old is throwing a tantrum, don't react in the same way. There is no need to break the baby's stubbornness. If he doesn't want to, well, don't. If he likes to cry, let him cry. Most children, not seeing a response from their parents, simply calm down.
  3. Allow your child to be independent and be more flexible. Let him try to accept own solutions. But under no circumstances indulge your baby in every little detail.

During the difficult period of the three-year-old crisis the main task parents - to help their baby and give him all their attention, tenderness and affection. Talk to your child, discuss various problems with him, give him answers to all questions. Try to explain to him the nature of his new sensations. As soon as the baby feels that his parents are nearby and that they understand him, irritation, aggression, hysterics - all this will fade into the background and be forgotten.