How can I change for the better? How to change yourself completely, practical steps. Liberation from the past

7 steps to help you change yourself for the better

1. Start fighting bad habits! You won't get better if you have bad habits. The fact is that they will interfere every time: either you will be constantly scolded for them, or you yourself will be tormented by thoughts about your shortcomings. They will prevent you from improving in life. Everyone understands perfectly well that from bad habits You can’t get rid of it quickly, it won’t be possible, but to do this you just have to start. Let it be a reduction in the dose of nicotine or alcohol, but you will begin to at least somehow move towards positive side. More detailed instructions You can read about how to get rid of bad habits in one of our next articles in the online magazine website, so subscribe to updates!


2. Make a plan for the next five years! It is unrealistic to become better in one day, in a year it is also difficult, but in five years it is more than possible, and you can change so much that you simply do not recognize yourself. Your plan must be 100% realistic (in any case of fate), and also very detailed. You must know what you will be doing in any month of your life. Also make a system that will help you track how much you have deviated from your plan. It’s quite simple to create such a system - write next to each month in the future what results you should achieve. We remind you that goals should not be exorbitant, especially if it concerns your weight, then you will not lose 20 kilograms in 1 month, no matter how much you want it. And if it concerns money, then according to the plan there should also be as much of it as you can actually get. It is better to exceed your plan than not reach the minimum mark.


3. Do good deeds. Good man It’s easy enough to tell the difference – he always does good deeds! Doing good is not only useful, but also pleasant. After all, think how easy it is to help an elderly woman carry her bags or fix a broken fence in her country house. It is easy for a child to get a kitten from a tree, and for a young mother to lower a stroller from the floor to the street. Such actions require a minimum of time and effort from you, but at the same time you receive an incredibly positive attitude, words of gratitude, and not only your personal opinion of yourself, but also the opinion of others grows. There is no need to refuse help, especially if it costs you nothing, there is no need to turn a blind eye to injustice, there is no need to be indifferent - and then you can change yourself better side!


4. Be honest with yourself and others. Another feature that distinguishes a positive person from a bad one is the ability to always be honest. It is always easier to lie than to tell a person the truth in the face. There are so many blatant lies around us that sometimes it makes us feel sick. Moreover, everyone lies - acquaintances, friends and even close people. No, lying for good is one thing, but lying for personal gain is a completely different situation. There are few honest people on earth, but they exist! Do you want to become one of the few?! It is difficult to be honest not only with people around you, but also with yourself. After all, remember how often we deceive ourselves?! Example: they were rude in the store?! And we walk along the road and think that it’s my own fault, that I got into trouble or at an unnecessary moment. Salary cut?! The boss is just a bastard and that’s it?!... But in fact, everything is the opposite than in the previously described situations. The rudeness was not your fault, but the cut in salary was due to your mistakes.


5. Keep your word. Several centuries ago, honor was not just an empty phrase; people died for it and they were afraid to miss it all their lives. One of the main points of honor was the ability to keep one’s word. Do you want to change yourself?! Learn to keep all the promises you made. Do not dare to say out loud what you cannot achieve, and if you have already spoken, then please do what was said, no matter what the cost. Those who keep their word are respected and listened to in any society, because they always know that the words spoken by this person are not an empty phrase, but the truth that cannot be disputed. Keeping your promised word is very difficult, not even everyone can do it, but it’s definitely worth learning!


6. Create a strong relationship with your significant other. You cannot become a better person without having love in your heart that could warm you at any moment in your life. A person is a creature that cannot live without love; he will always strive to find a person with whom he would like to spend the rest of his life. Therefore, if you are not in search of your love, you will never be able to achieve perfection. It’s not for nothing that all high-ranking officials had other halves. After all, this is also an indicator that a person knows how to create a family, values ​​it and tries in every possible way to teach others this. It is unlikely that anyone will follow your example if you are lonely and unhappy.


7. Create your appearance in a way that you really like. It’s not enough just to change yourself inside, because we all evaluate ourselves not only by personal qualities, but also externally. Here you need to learn to stop being afraid of experiments - to try yourself in different “roles”. This is especially important and necessary for women. It's not enough to change your clothing style. After all, you must change your hairstyle, makeup, manner of movement, gait, etc. After all, only in this way will you believe in your changes. Come up with an image for yourself that would be interesting to you, that you would like to imitate and who to be like. Yes, we agree that there are no ideal women, and having an idol is not right! However, you can take from each famous woman only those criteria that you like exclusively!

Changes take quite a long time to take effect; for many, it will take years to change themselves into the person they like. However, it is better to spend a few years on your positive changes than to live a life that you would not like at all!

Modern girls are ready for the most daring changes in their lives, for constant self-improvement. Many people know to become better, smarter, more attractive, sexier, you need to work a lot on your appearance, lifestyle, habits and rules of behavior.

If you are wondering how to become a better person, a clear 30-day plan will help you. Every girl can change her life for the better! It's not as difficult as it seems.

Some representatives of the fair half of humanity need years to change their image, others try to introduce something new into life in a very short time.

In any case, if the result were guaranteed, quite a lot of people would like to know how to make yourself and your life better in just 30 days, girl. In our article you will learn how to implement this and change radically in just a month. Improve yourself externally and internally.

To improve your internal and external data in 30 days, you need to create an action plan to work on your appearance and habits.

Cosmetic procedures to make you look better

To improve your appearance, you need to visit a cosmetologist. The elasticity and firmness of the skin is maintained by regular facial cleansing, which can be:

• ultrasonic;
• manual;
• peeling.

• fruit peeling;
• mesotherapy;
• biorevitalization.

After 30:

• correction of fine wrinkles with butoloxin;
• fillers with hyaluronic acid.

By the age of 40, it is necessary to add volume, freshness, and clarity of lines. Recommended procedures:

• plasma lifting;
• peeling;
• revitalization;
• laser polishing;

Cosmetic procedures are selected strictly according to age and specialist recommendations.

Skin, hair and nail care

External changes should affect hair, skin and nails. Hair should look well-groomed, without split ends (you need to keep an eye on this). The roots of the hair should be tinted in time, and the remaining length should be refreshed if necessary.

Gelatin-based masks will help improve hair condition for dry texture, with the addition of cognac for oily curls. If your hair length allows, you can master braiding, this will add a novelty to your look, and it’s also fashionable. For medium length hair, bronzing is suitable.

Please note: nails should be regularly taken care of. Men don't like peeling manicures, hangnails, or dirt under their nails.

The stronger sex likes French, red or, better yet, clear varnish. If a girl takes care of her nails every day for 30 days, it will become a habit.

A modern girl doesn’t always manage to get her nails done every day, so it’s worth resorting to salon care.. A procedure such as nail lamination has proven itself well. It restores the nail plate, hides all flaws and imperfections.

The nails are covered with a substance that fills all the depressions and deformations. After the procedure, the plates become healthier, aesthetics and nutrition return to them. This procedure will improve the appearance of your nails, and preparatory stage in the form of a hand massage will give you a feeling of relaxation and complete harmony.

Facial skin should have an even tone, a fresh, well-groomed appearance with highlighting makeup. To do this, you need to nourish, moisturize, cleanse and refresh your face every day. This will prolong your youth.

Facial products are selected according to skin type. At home, in the refrigerator, there should be ice cubes with chamomile, which should be used to wipe your face daily. After a week of such procedures, the skin calms down, the color evens out, freshness appears, and fatigue disappears.

A light tan will help you become more attractive. Self-tanning or visiting a solarium are suitable for this.

How to become better: proper nutrition

The right diet will help you become better: internally and externally.

• Before starting any meal, 1/4 hour before, you need to drink 200 ml of water.
• Every day a girl should drink at least 2 liters of water.
• By eliminating unhealthy high-calorie foods for 30 days, you can lose extra pounds.
• The side dishes that existed before this time must be replaced with vegetable dishes.
• Eliminate sausages, sausages and other semi-finished products from your diet forever.
• The interval between meals should be at least 3 hours, meals should be fractional.
• The evening meal should be 2.5 hours before going to bed.
• Every week you need to do fasting days.
• You can't skip breakfast.
• Every day on an empty stomach you need to drink 1 tsp. flax oil
• It is better to replace baked goods with citrus fruits.

It is important to know! Do not drink liquid or water after eating (at least half an hour must pass).

The best diets for weight loss and wellness

To answer the question of how to become better in 30 days, a girl needs to get her figure in order. Various diets will help with this, the most popular of which are soup, kefir and fractional diets.

Soup diet will help you lose weight quickly

The diet consists of a variety of soups without potatoes, legumes and butter. During the diet, you should avoid bread. Use salt in very small doses. After a seven-day period, you can lose up to 4 kg of excess weight.

Kefir in the fight against extra pounds

This diet is designed for 7 days. During this time, it is easy to lose up to 5 kg of excess weight. During the week you need to drink 1.5-2 liters of low-fat kefir daily.

Diet Ladder

This diet is designed for 5 days. On the first day, you need to cleanse your intestines (during the day, eat 2 kg of apples and drink activated charcoal). On the second day, the body requires recovery (eat cottage cheese and kefir).

The third day of the meal should consist of foods rich in healthy sugars. The fourth day is protein (eat boiled lean poultry). Fifth day – fiber in the diet (muesli, oatmeal, fruits are suitable).

In 5 days you can lose 7 kg. The diet can be carried out every 2 weeks, the main thing is that there are no problems with the gastrointestinal tract.

How to become a better girl in 30 days - psychological trainings

You can become better in a month with the help of psychological training. Each girl chooses a program for herself that will help develop her hidden qualities.

By choosing the right program for yourself, in 30 days you can completely change yourself, and most importantly, change everything around you. Raise your self-esteem and become more successful.

Girls become better after training programs, and the main question of how disappears in itself. Any issues can be resolved with ease, there is no fear or worry, which means an end to depression and stress.

You can conduct independent training at home. To do this, you need to write down on a piece of paper all the good deeds, achievements, awards, joyful memories.

You need to read this list every day, and soon it will turn into a life guide. The more positive deeds and accomplishments that come to mind, the longer the list will be, which means daily readings for 5 minutes a day will give positive results.

You need to remember to praise yourself - this is a reward and an increase in self-esteem. You can practice praise in front of a mirror.

Don’t forget to smile at yourself every day - then things will be most successful.

Creating a new image to become even better

Every girl has her own image, which is more acceptable and comfortable for her, but in order to change for the better, she will have to completely change. This means that the path to success lies through dramatic changes.

Changing your image can start with your hairstyle: long straight hair - curl, and curls - straighten, get a fashionable haircut or coloring. This season, ombre and balayage are at the peak of fashion.

Change your usual makeup, trying to make it fashionable: painted eyelashes, eyes lined with eyeliner, foundation, neat and expressive eyebrows, gloss or lipstick.

If you have vision problems, then your usual glasses should be replaced with contact lenses.. If you used contact lenses, stylish glasses or colored lenses will help you change your look.

Changing your image also applies to changing your wardrobe. Business women Those who are accustomed to formal suits can dilute their look with lighter and more playful accessories, for example, using a bright color scarf in combination with a dark suit. For lovers of free sporty style you can buy several feminine dresses and heels.

The whole look is highlighted by stylish accessories.: bags, belts, jewelry, and most importantly shoes. All things should complement each other.

Changing your image is not just about creating a new image, you need to change your habits, remove unnecessary gestures, change loud laughter to a smile. Knowing your complexes and shortcomings, they need to be corrected.

To make a girl better, she must have its own individual unique image. You should not constrain yourself, just as you should not be shy about making new acquaintances (in 30 days, you can make at least 10 friends). It is necessary to make new friends all the time, but at the same time not to forget about the existing ones. Your social circle should be diverse.

Sociability plays a significant role. In a company you need to be cheerful and joyful, then the success of leadership is guaranteed, in any company there is a place for such a positive person.

Sociability is the key to success in life. Don't have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends!

Important to remember! Having loved yourself with all your might, others will not remain indifferent. It’s not for nothing that there is a proverb: love yourself the way you want others to love you.

Wanting to become better is painstaking daily, minute-by-minute work. You will have to work on your views, taste, image, feelings, fears, perfection and external data.

If you do not deviate from the rules, then achieving your goal will be very close, and all unpleasant memories and fears will remain in your old life.

Useful videos on how to change your life for the better. How to become a better girl

TIPS FOR GIRLS ON HOW TO BECOME HEALTHIER AND BEAUTIFUL:

HOW TO BECOME A BEAUTIFUL GIRL - THE MAIN SECRET:

LIFE HACKS FOR GIRLS // HOW TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND WELL-KNOWN:

How to become a better girl in 30 days:

There is no person who would not be faced with a situation when at a certain stage of life the question arises: how to change for the better, how to change your behavior, habits, character?

You can change yourself for the better endlessly, because there will always be something that doesn’t suit you. In the process of life, many of us develop an attitude towards existence that can be characterized in two words - a feeling of helplessness.

It seems to us that life is full of hopelessness and desperation. It becomes especially scary when we are unable to change anything. There are many reasons to think this way - constant pain, endless disappointments, incessant grievances. But as a result, we see one thing - a categorical refusal of life, self-loathing and the inability to see our life in a positive way.

In such a situation, it is important to ask yourself the question: “What leads me to constant disappointments? How can I change myself for the better and change my attitude towards the world?

After all, it is the desire for better and self-improvement that can change a person’s character, his worldview and attitude towards life, then the world around him will treat him completely differently.

Internal and external changes in a person certainly lead to an improvement in life. The highest goals and dreams become accessible. When we are ready to change - we are growing!

Intrinsic motivation

What is one of the main reasons for wanting to change yourself and your usual lifestyle for the better? Often it's fear. Among the strongest motivators are the fear of losing health, family, job, loved one, status, fear of not being able to do something in life.

To start changes, you need to convince yourself and believe that there is always a way out of any situation; it is important to have a strong hope of solving the problem.

Only then does a girl in love, who wants to lose weight and not lose her loved one, start going to the pool and gym. A person who has had a heart attack immediately stops smoking. The fear of poverty and insolvency forces one to work hard.

However, a person will not change himself and his life if he is satisfied with everything and he is sure that he will live well anyway. Those who simply do not see the possibility of solving emerging problems and difficult situations will not strive for change.

People do not fight serious illnesses because they do not believe and do not hope for recovery. To start changing, you need to realize how important and precious everything is to you that can easily be lost.

The beginning of change

There are no ways to change internally quickly and easily. Nor have they come up with magical means for instantly eradicating bad habits or acquiring positive character traits.

The desire to change yourself is not enough - it is important to make some efforts to achieve success. Change begins with a clear understanding of what exactly irritates you or doesn’t suit you in yourself, what prevents you from living peacefully.

You need to find out for yourself what positive or negative qualities you have, what they give you. Then consciously choose those qualities that you absolutely must get rid of in order to change for the better.

There is no need to try to get rid of all of them at the same time. bad qualities and habits. This is an absolutely impossible task!

It is necessary to gradually and patiently cultivate the positive qualities inherent in every person. This process is similar to how a gardener cares for and cares for flowers. Even roses freed from weeds will not bloom and smell fragrant if not properly cared for.

Positive thinking

Every day we hear endless complaints about people, life, injustice. At the same time, everyone knows about the usefulness and importance of positive thinking. It has long been known that people’s thoughts depend on their statements and influence behavior, emotions and feelings.

Priest Will Bowen observed people's behavior over a long period of time. He advised those who wanted to radically change their lives to wear a bracelet on their wrist for three weeks and try to live without complaints, gossip and irritation.

If a person forgot and started saying negative phrases, he had to put the bracelet on his other hand, and the countdown began again. The goal of the experiment is to wear the bracelet on one hand for a full three weeks.

The method used turned out to be extremely effective. The observation participants changed significantly - they learned to notice positive qualities in themselves and the world around them, live without complaints for a long time, and stopped speaking negatively about things and people.

Thus, participants who wanted to know how to change beyond recognition internally learned to control their thoughts and phrases, which led to dramatic changes in their lives. In addition, the experiment allowed everyone to learn a lot of interesting things about themselves and their thinking.

External changes

How to change externally? A question of this kind will certainly arise if you want to change yourself for the better. The general image will certainly begin to undergo dramatic changes as soon as changes appear in the internal worldview.

By learning to use positive thinking, you will stop wasting your strength and energy on useless grievances and destructive thoughts, and you will also be able to forgive offenders and ill-wishers.

As soon as you recognize your uniqueness, you will immediately love yourself and learn to show love to other people. There will be no desire to avoid problems and adversity with the help of alcohol, smoking, or overeating.

You will notice changes in appearance: straight shoulders, confident gait, sparkling eyes. The world will begin to change rapidly, and you will have new acquaintances, hobbies, and friends. You will want to change your appearance, your usual image, because you need to correspond to the new internal state.

The opposite course of life changes is also possible. First, a person decides to change his appearance: get rid of extra pounds, get a new hairstyle, update his wardrobe. Then changes immediately occur in the internal content and thinking. A person feels confident because he is satisfied with his appearance.

If you have decided and realized how to change radically (internally or externally), then do not hesitate to do so, do not delay the beginning better life to “tomorrow”, to “later” or “later”. Begin to be active immediately, regardless of the time of day or day of the week. Appreciate every second, because life passes quickly and irrevocably!

Changes in character

If you want to understand how to change for the better in your character, you need to do the following. Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen and make a list of two columns.

In the first column write those character traits that, in your opinion, negatively affect behavior, in the second - indicate the traits that you would like to acquire. Your family and friends can help you compile such a list. This will give you the opportunity to look at yourself from the outside, because often we do not notice or do not want to admit our own shortcomings.

Next, next to the indicated character flaws, you need to write down the proposed ways to turn them into advantages. For example, pessimism can be overcome positive thinking and a positive attitude, laziness – an active lifestyle and hobbies, anger – a manifestation of goodwill, etc.

Think responsibly about how your life will change after changing your character. This will motivate you. But remember that it is not enough just to know how to change your character. It is important to put in effort and work, to show willpower, and this is not an easy task!

Sometimes a person's character can be changed by changing their appearance. This is especially true for women. For example, by changing her hairstyle or hair color, a woman notices that her attitude towards the world around her begins to gradually change.

There is also an inverse relationship. When a rethinking of values ​​occurs in the mind, a desire may arise to change externally in order to correspond to your new “I”.

Video “How to become happy”

Changing character is a very difficult task. In an effort to improve yourself and your character, control your behavior and get rid of unnecessary thoughts and actions in time!

Many people mistakenly blame others for their own failures. Women believe that their husbands and children are to blame for their failed careers, as a result of which the ladies became housewives. Men blame their parents for not forcing them to receive higher education. These are just examples of when a person is unable to bear responsibility for own life. But in vain, in all cases you need to rely only on your own strengths, without relying on outside help.

Step #1. Watch your diet and habits

No wonder the Chinese proverb says “You are what you eat.” Follow it, watch your own diet, eat only healthy foods, give up unhealthy snacks and fast food. You don’t need to make huge changes to your daily diet; just replace carbonated drinks with green tea and packaged juices with fresh juices. It would be a good idea to give up white sugar, coffee, alcohol and sweets. Smokers should quit their addiction forever. This one step can change your life 180 degrees.

Step #2. Get rich spiritually

Read useful literature, watch documentaries and attend seminars. Choose psychology from books personal growth and communication, fiction, science and business, history, sociology. Make it a habit to read one book a week.

If you don’t have enough time or you work a lot on a PC (your eyes get tired), download audiobooks from the Internet. Listen to them on your way to work, while doing household chores, while visiting stores. If you count, about 50 books are published a year, believe me, this will significantly change your life. You will become knowledgeable in many areas of life, will be able to carry on a conversation in any situation and will begin to attract “helpful” acquaintances.

Step #3. Develop financially

Wake up in the morning with the thought that today you will surpass yourself yesterday, achieve more. Do you drive a good car? Well, there are much better cars. Have you saved up for your own apartment? Save up for the next one. Ask for a promotion at work; if they refuse, go work for another company. Don't stand still.

People who have neither an apartment nor a car are especially not allowed to stop. List in order of priority what you need to achieve this year. Set a goal and move towards it. Hang the list on the refrigerator; if you want to eat, you read it; you decide to have a snack again; you read it again. If you think you don't earn enough, dedicate every day to looking for additional income.

Step #4. Get rid of unnecessary things

Open the closet and try on every item in it. Throw away or give away anything that doesn't fit perfectly. There is no need to store trash, learn to get rid of it. Clear out your closet, balcony, or other place with unnecessary junk.

Tidy up the shelves, remove the old figurines that are there “for furniture.” Leave only what you really like. Believe me, you will experience an inexplicable surge of strength after you take the last package to the trash container. Update your wardrobe regularly: buy a new item, throw away the old one.

Step #5. Find yourself

The unknown is tiring and exhausting. A person who does not know what he wants from life is doomed to failure. Do you wake up every morning and go to a job you don’t like? Do you spend 6 days a week at work? Make a difference. Start looking for a better paying profession. Perhaps you have a passion for building or repairing cars, or maybe you are an avid fan information technologies. Find your place.

Many people spend their whole lives in despair, wanting to start enjoying what they do. They say correctly " Best work“It’s a highly paid hobby.” Strive to wake up in the morning with a smile and look forward to a productive day. Try yourself in different areas, you will not realize your potential until you find out what exactly suits you.

Step #6. Improve yourself

We've been meaning to learn this for a long time foreign language? It's time to act. Explore the city's language schools and attend an introductory lesson. In addition to the fact that knowledge of the language allows you to freely travel around the world, this skill increases your salary by 45%. It is only important to find an employer who needs a qualified employee.

For example, compare the number of Internet users who speak Russian and English. The first are about 50 million, the second are more than a billion. Nowadays, knowledge of English is not only a whim or a sign of the intelligentsia, its study is becoming necessary for general development and communication.

Step #7. Play sports

It's no secret that sport significantly improves morale. Men should sign up for a boxing, karate or kickboxing class, and a visit to the gym would be a good idea. Set a goal to pump up your back or abs in six months, make a bet with your friends. If you don't do it, you'll end up being an empty talker.

For girls there are more wide range directions. Find out everything about Pilates, callanectics, stretching, half-dance, yoga. Choose the option you like and sign up for a trial lesson. Lovers of intense training should pay attention to water aerobics, step and gymnastics. Sport not only tones your body, it makes you feel like a confident person. There is no need to be embarrassed by strangers or afraid of failure, you will succeed.

Step #8. Watch your appearance

Untidy clothes in spools or worn jeans say a lot about a person. Don't push people away appearance. Girls need to regularly visit a manicure and pedicure specialist, as well as have their roots tinted and ends trimmed. Tidy up your hair, buy beautiful clothes. Watch your figure, go on a diet if necessary. Instead of wearing tracksuits and sneakers, wear high heels and dresses/skirts. As for men, shave regularly and wear only clean and ironed clothes. Watch your body, don't grow a belly.

Step #9. Plan your weekend

Strive to do something new every weekend, explore the world around you. Share new impressions, take photos. The more you learn, the more interesting life will become. After a certain period of time, you will no longer be able to sit still, and this is fraught with changes for the better.

Stop playing completely computer games. They take up a lot of time, but do not carry any meaning. Replace virtual communication with real one, give up constantly being in in social networks. In these ways you are wasting your life. Imagine how many useful and interesting things you can do with hours spent on the Internet.

Step #10. Learn to say “No!”

Don't let others manipulate you, don't follow the lead of your friends and family. Do you feel like your friends are using you for their own purposes? Point out mistakes to them, don’t be afraid to express yourself directly. Speak clearly and delicately, without raising your voice. There is no need to feel guilty when you refuse someone. You are a person with own principles and beliefs. Let others understand this. Become independent from the opinions of others. Spit on everyone who says you won't succeed. Surround yourself only with bright, kind and successful people.

Only you can change your life. Get your diet in order, give up bad habits. Enjoy your weekend and learn something new every week. Read books, develop in terms of material wealth, look for yourself. Take unnecessary things to the trash, surround yourself only with successful people.

Video: how to change your life yourself and become happy

There is a deep-seated feeling in all of us that we must act and think exactly as we act and think. It is consistent with or an expression of our beliefs. If there were no belief, then there would be no manifestation of it. There is something in us that causes us to be overweight, bad relationships, failure, poverty, frustration, etc.

How many times have you repeated to yourself: “ I will never do this again!” Despite this statement, you eat cake again, light a cigarette again, be rude to people you care about, etc., even though the day has not yet ended when you promised yourself not to do this again. And yet we do it.

And then we complicate the problem even more when we angrily tell ourselves: “ You don’t have the slightest willpower!” And this makes even more difficult the overwhelming burden of guilt that we already carry on our shoulders. Instead, tell yourself: “ I want to free myself from the hidden desire to be unworthy all the time. I deserve the best in life and I give myself permission to accept it with love.».

The attitude of many of us towards life is primarily a feeling of helplessness. We have long given up on life with its hopelessness and hopelessness. For some, this is due to countless disappointments, for others, constant pain, etc. But the result is the same for everyone - a complete rejection of life and an unwillingness to see oneself and one’s life in a completely different way. Well, if you asked yourself the question: “what exactly causes constant disappointment in my life?” What is it that you give away so generously that causes others to irritate you so much? Whatever you give, you get back. The more irritated you become, the more you create situations that irritate you. I wonder if you were annoyed now while reading the previous paragraph? If yes, then that's great! That's why you need to change! Deciding to change Now let's talk about change and our desire to change. We all want our lives to change for the better, but we ourselves don’t want to change. Let someone else change, let “they” change, and I’ll wait. In order to change anyone else, you must first change yourself. And you must change internally. We must change the way we think, the way we speak, and the things we say. Only then will real change come. I personally have always been stubborn. Even when I made the decision to change, this stubbornness got in my way. But I still knew that this was where I needed a change. The more I hold on to any statement, the clearer it is to me that it is this statement that I need to free myself from. And only when you are convinced of this from your own experience can you teach others. It seems to me that all wonderful spiritual teachers had an unusually difficult childhood, went through pain and suffering, but learned to free themselves, which they began to teach others. Many good teachers constantly work on themselves and this becomes their main occupation in life. Exercise “I want to change” Repeat the phrase: “I want to change for the better” as often as possible. While saying this phrase to yourself, touch your throat. The throat is the center where all the energy necessary for change is concentrated. And be prepared for change when it comes into your life. Know also that if you think that somewhere you cannot change yourself, that is where you need to change. “I want to change. I want to change." The forces of the Universe will automatically help you in your intention, and you will be surprised to discover more and more positive changes in your life. Another exercise Go to the mirror and tell yourself: “I want to change.” Notice how this makes you feel. If you find yourself resisting or hesitating, ask yourself why? For God's sake, don't beat yourself up, just celebrate it. Ask yourself what statement or thought makes you feel this way? You have to dissolve it regardless. whether you know where you got it from or not. Go back to the mirror, look deeply into your eyes, touch your throat and say loudly 10 times: “I want to free myself from all resistance.” Working with a mirror helps a lot. Looking yourself in the eye and saying a positive statement about yourself is the most quick way get good results.

How can you change? Change your beliefs

Change your beliefs and your life will change ! Every thought we have can change! If unwanted thoughts come to you all the time, stop yourself from such thoughts and tell them: “Get out!” Instead, accept a thought that can bring you good luck. Self-improvement is based on three principles:

• Desire to change.
• Control over the mind.
• Forgiving yourself and others.

We talked about the desire to change for the better above, let's talk about control over the mind. We are all much more than our minds. You probably think that the mind is responsible for everything in your life. But such a belief is based only on the fact that you think so.

Your mind is a tool that can be used this way and that way. He is always at your service. Turn off the chatterbox in your mind for a moment and think about the meaning of the statement: “your mind is your tool.” And you decide how to use it yourself.

The thoughts you choose create all your life situations. There is incredible power in thoughts and words. And when you learn to control your thoughts and words, you will be in harmony with this power. Don't think that your mind controls you. Quite the contrary, you control your mind.

Exercise "Release"

Take a deep breath and then exhale all the air. Relax your body. Then tell yourself, “I want to be free. I am released from all tension. I am freeing myself from all my old beliefs. I feel calm. I'm at peace with myself. I am at peace with the process of life itself. I'm safe".

Repeat this exercise three times. When you feel like you are in a difficult situation, repeat these phrases to yourself. And then they will become a part of you and will be so natural that all the tension and daily struggle will gradually disappear from your life. So relax and think about something good. It's so easy.

Physical relaxation

Sometimes we need to relax physically. Negative experiences from the situations we find ourselves in and the emotions we experience often remain in our body. One form of physical release from this is the following: close all the windows in the car or house and scream as loud as you can. Hitting a pillow or bed with all your might is another harmless method.

Playing a variety of sports or going for a brisk walk will lead to the same results. I once experienced a terrible pain in my shoulder that lasted a day or two. I tried to ignore it, but it didn't go away. Then I asked myself: “What’s going on, what’s the matter? What annoys me? I couldn't find the answer, so I said to myself, “Well, let's see.”

I placed two large pillows on the bed and began hitting them as hard as I could. After the twelfth blow, I knew exactly what was annoying me. Everything was clear, and I began to hit the pillows even harder and, thus, freed myself from the feeling of irritation. When I finished, I felt much lighter, and the next day the pain completely disappeared.

Liberation from the past

Many of my patients say that they cannot be happy now because they were traumatized in the past. Because they didn't do something they should have done. Because they no longer have what they valued most in the world. Because they have been hurt and cannot love; something unpleasant happened earlier and they remember it. Because once they did something terrible and curse themselves for it. Because they can neither forgive nor forget,

Constantly remembering your past means only hurting yourself. Those who are guilty before us - they don’t care. “They” don’t even know the extent of our pain. Therefore, there is no point in concentrating your thoughts on the past. It is gone and cannot be changed. But we can change our attitude to him.

Exercise “liberation from the past”

Let us consider the past only as a memory. If you remember what you wore in the third grade, then this memory will be without any emotional evaluation. The same can be said about all events in your past.

As we free ourselves, we become able to use all our mental power in the present moment. We can change for the better. Again, watch your reaction. What will you need to do to achieve this? How willing or ready are you to let go of your past? What is your resistance level?

Forgiveness

Our next step with you is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the answer to all questions and problems. I know from my own experience that when we have problems in life, no matter what nature, it means that we need to forgive someone.

Love- the only answer to any of our problems, and the road to such a state is through forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment. There are several ways.

Exercise “dissolving resentment”

Sit somewhere quiet, relax. Imagine that you are in a darkened theater and there is a small stage in front of you. Put on stage the person you need to forgive (the person you hate most in the world). This person may be alive or dead, and your hatred may be both past and present.

When you see this person clearly, imagine that something good is happening to him, something that is of great importance to this person. Picture him smiling and happy. Hold this image in your mind for a few minutes, and then let it disappear.

Then, when the person you want to forgive leaves the stage, put yourself there. Imagine that only good things happen to you. Imagine yourself happy and smiling. And know that there is enough goodness in the universe for all of us.

This exercise dissolves the dark clouds of accumulated resentment. Some people will find this exercise very difficult. Each time you make it, you can draw in the imagination of different people. Do this exercise once a day for a month and see how much easier your life becomes.

Mental Visualization Exercise

Here's another very good exercise. Imagine yourself as a small child (5-6 years old). Look deep into this child's eyes. Try to see the deep longing and understand that this longing is for love for you. Reach out and hug this little baby, hold him close to your chest. Tell him how much you love him. Tell him that you admire his intelligence, and if he makes mistakes, then it’s okay, everyone makes them.

Promise him that you will always come to his aid if necessary. Now let the child become very small, the size of a pea. Place it in your heart. Let him settle there. When you look down, you will see his little face and you will be able to give him all your love, which is so important to him.

Now imagine your mother when she was 4-5 years old, scared and hungry for love. Extend your hands to her and tell her how much you love her. Tell her that she can count on you no matter what. When she calms down and feels safe, place her in your heart.

Now imagine your father as a little boy of 3-4 years old, he is also very afraid of something and cries loudly, inconsolably. You will see tears rolling down his face. You now know how to calm small children. Hold him to your chest and feel his trembling body. Calm him down. Let him feel your love. Tell him that you will always be there for him.

When his tears dry, may he also become very tiny. Place it in your heart with you and your mother. Love them all, for there is nothing more sacred than love for little children. There is enough love in your heart to heal our entire planet. But let's heal ourselves first. Feel the warmth spreading throughout your body. Softness and tenderness. Let this precious feeling begin to change your life.

My schedule

My day usually goes like this: When I wake up in the morning, before I open my eyes, I express gratitude for everything I have. After my shower, I meditate and pray for about half an hour. Then morning exercises (15 minutes). Sometimes I do gymnastics along with the 6 o'clock morning program on TV.

My breakfast consists of fruit and herbal tea. I again thank Mother Earth for sending me food. Before lunch, I go to the mirror and do exercises: I either say them or sing them. These are statements like:

• Louise, you are beautiful and I love you.
• This is the most beautiful day of my life.
• Everything you need to know will come to you.
• Everything is fine.

For lunch I usually eat a big salad. Once again, I bless my food and give thanks. Sometime during the day I listen to a tape of affirmations. For dinner I eat steamed vegetables and porridge. Sometimes chicken or fish. Simple food is best for my body. In the evening I read or study. When I go to bed, I mentally remember the past day and bless it. I say I will sleep great and wake up in the morning to a great day. Sounds strange, doesn't it?

Well, how do you start your day? What do you say or think in the morning when you wake up? I remember the time when, waking up in the morning, I thought: “Oh my God, I have to wake up again. Another day". And I got exactly the day I imagined. One trouble after another. Now, before I open my eyes, I give thanks for a good dream and for all the good things in my life.

About work

Some of us, dissatisfied with our chosen career, constantly think:

• I can't stand my job.
• I hate my job.
• I don't make enough money.
• I'm not appreciated at work.
• I just don't know what to do.

These are negative thoughts that bring you a lot of harm. How do you expect to find a good job if you think like this all the time? This is called approaching the problem from the wrong end. If you currently have a job that you hate for some reason, you need to do the following.

Start by blessing your present work, because it is a necessary milestone on your path. You are now where your life beliefs have led you. So, start blessing everything about your work: the building you work in, the elevator, the rooms, the furniture and equipment, the people you interact with there.

If you want to leave this job, then constantly tell yourself that you are releasing this job with love and giving it to a person who will be absolutely happy in it. And know that in reality, many people aspire to the position you occupy at work.

“I am open and ready to accept work that would use my capabilities and talents. This new job will allow me to realize all my creative abilities and will satisfy me.” If someone at work bothers you, bless that person every time you think about them.

Although we do not choose this, it is important to know that each of us has a little of Hitler and a little of Jesus Christ... If such a person is critical, imagine him as a person who praises everyone: if he is cruel, tell yourself that he is gentle and fair. If you see only the good in people, then they will show you their wonderful qualities, regardless of how they behave with others.

© Louise Hay. Heal your life. The power is within us. - M., 1996

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