How to make a good first impression on your interlocutor. How to make a first impression. Be a valuable communicator

The importance of first impressions. Factors that determine a person’s perception when meeting them, as well as everything about how to form the right opinion about yourself. Effects that can distort reality during the first meeting.

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The first impression is the image that other people form when they first meet a person. This happens not only through receiving emotional and physical information, but also through developing your personal reaction to it. Thus, a certain set of characteristics of this individual is formed in the head, in accordance with which further communication will develop. For all of humanity, this process is very important, because it is it that predetermines any relationship between people. Therefore, everyone is trying to learn how to make the impression that he needs in a given situation.

Factors in forming a first impression

The process during which an impression is formed lasts only the first few minutes of acquaintance. Despite this, it fits into people’s heads as a guideline for building future relationships. How a person is perceived at this moment depends on many factors that influence the formation of the first impression. Most modern psychologists are trying to make a list of the most important points to which attention is drawn first.

Today among them are:

Appearance. This factor can be explained as an assessment of the overall picture. This refers to emotions that arise for the first time at the sight of a given person. They are not supported by conversations or manners, but are simply based on how his appearance during the meeting makes him feel.
Elements of appearance. No matter how anyone tries to argue, the most important point in forming the first impression of a person is the assessment of material qualities. This includes clothes and the condition of hair, nails, and skin. Everything that can be seen with the naked eye even before the conversation begins. Absolutely all people pay attention to this and take note of it long before recognizing a particular person as an individual.
Showing emotions. Only after assessing previous qualities are the intangible characteristics of a person taken into account. At this moment, attention is paid to the manifestation of feelings. What is important is how this person will behave in a given situation, whether he will smile during jokes and what views on life he shares. In this way, moral qualities are assessed, which is also important when dating.
Features of behavior. Many people are able to determine many of his character traits from the first minutes of a person’s posture. To do this, they evaluate gait, the position of arms and legs during communication, gestures, movements of facial muscles, and even the nature of the smile. These and many other points make it possible to determine the opponent’s intentions and openness, his habits and attitude towards the company. This point is also extremely important because it helps to find out a person’s character type.
Individual qualities. The last thing that is assessed when meeting a person is his personal characteristics. These are the qualities that set him apart from the crowd. These may include both your outlook on life and the presence of a mole on your chin. In a word, something that can catch and attract the attention of those present.

More often listed factors are used in that order. But despite this, each person tends to notice what is more important and interesting, changing this sequence.

Effects that distort first impressions

Considering that the first impression of a person is formed in an incredibly short period of time, it cannot be called objective. The thing is that its formation is influenced not only by the current moment, but also by other factors. These are various circumstances and information that can distort the resulting picture. It often happens that when an individual sees his opponent, he already has certain subconscious prejudices about him.

There are several effects that have this effect:

Halo. This concept means exaggerating the importance of the first impression. After all, it can create a certain image that will be taken into account in all subsequent meetings. For example, if, when you first meet a woman, she likes and is interested in a man, then in the future she will justify all his bad actions herself. Exactly the same situation may develop and not in his favor. If he was late or made a bad joke on the first date, then there is no point in hoping for a second.
Primacy. When evaluating a person, everyone tends to set their own priorities. And that’s why some people first look at eye color, while others look at neatness in clothing or generosity. It is the impression from the first point that can determine the attitude towards a given person in general. Therefore, someone can be conquered by a beautiful jacket or by uttering the desired phrase, even if, apart from this, the person cannot boast of anything else. Perception is shaped by what was initially presented.
Boomerang. Almost every person knows what this phenomenon means. The thing is that people always tend to somehow resist influence on them. Therefore, negative emotions are developed towards those who immediately try to join the team, attract attention or put themselves above the rest. Everyone perceives them as enemies and, despite their subsequent actions, they look for a catch everywhere.
Condescension. This sign is exclusively a trait of a person who has to form an opinion about someone. There are people who tend to feel sorry for others, so they will initially have a good attitude towards everyone. Their opinion cannot be called objective, but this is how they see others.
Stereotyping. A very common phenomenon that is observed in relationships between men and women. It is in such cases that people tend to perceive new acquaintances with a preconceived bad opinion. If a lady has been cheated on once, then each subsequent male representative will need to prove to her that he is not like that. And it doesn’t matter at all that she has no reason to think so, because here the stereotype that was formed earlier is in charge.
Projection. This happens among people who very much dislike certain qualities in themselves. That is why they subconsciously try to discern them in others. Consequently, the opinion about a person will be initially bad, because it is supported by the most unloved habit or character trait. People rarely notice such problems themselves, but communication with them is still quite difficult.

How to make a good impression

To build any relationship, it is very important that a person is recognized on the good side. Not all people know how to show all their advantages, and this is quite capable of alienating others from them. To learn how to make a first impression, you don’t need to re-read millions of smart books and monographs. You just have to allow yourself to be yourself and take into account some facts about your opponent.

Peculiarities of behavior when meeting people

First you need to gather your thoughts and set a goal for this meeting. It is necessary to clearly understand how important it is for a person what they think about him. Having figured out these criteria for yourself, you can begin to prepare yourself.

Here are some tips to follow when dating:

Be natural. When a person has an important meeting, he tries to prepare for it as thoroughly as possible. But outwardly, such ideality may seem feigned and unreal, which will repel you even more. Moreover, the entire acquaintance will be spent on reflection, so as not to forget something and not say too much. Therefore, such long preparation will not lead to anything good. It is better to be yourself and communicate with a person sincerely, without unnecessary fuss.
Don't flatter. In order to please someone, you don’t have to completely imitate him. All people are individual in their actions and views. And having your own opinion is more to your liking than fawning and agreeing with everything. Of course, you shouldn’t defend your point of view too fiercely, so as not to offend your opponent. Everything should be in moderation.
Enjoy the meeting. Regardless of which people will be present during the conversation, you need to calm yourself and approach this situation wisely. If a meeting should take place, then it is better not to resist it, but, on the contrary, to look for common ground with the person. You need to listen to him carefully and take useful information for yourself. Such a meeting can bring a lot of fruit for both parties while building a constructive approach.
Take a look at yourself from the outside. Sometimes this skill greatly helps a person to make life easier during important meetings. After all, we look at ourselves from a completely different angle. An individual's gestures and jokes may be understandable only to him alone, but outsiders can perceive them as an insult. Therefore, it is worth reconsidering your communication manners so that they are accessible and understandable to everyone.
Define your advantages. To interest someone, you must first determine for yourself exactly how this can be done. After this, it will be much easier to establish communication, because the person will know his main strengths. They are the ones who should attract attention from the outside and make communication interesting. Such attractive moments can be a sense of humor and friendliness. If a person cannot understand what interesting things he has to offer, he needs to carefully work on himself.

Rules for conducting a conversation with an interlocutor

Firstly, you always need to get to know your opponent as closely as possible, learn to understand his interests and views on life. This will help build a more constructive conversation without awkward moments.

Secondly, it is worth adhering to the universal rules of conversation, which are generally accepted:

Listen. Every interlocutor requires this. It is very important and necessary for everyone that they pay attention, show tolerance and nod their heads in response to some phrases. If such an opportunity was provided, then the subsequent conversation will be very productive. At least out of a sense of politeness, a person will not be denied requests, but will be called a good listener and interlocutor.
Don't talk much. It is very important that the opponent does not feel out of place during the unique monologue that has developed. People who start a conversation by discussing their problems only scare those around them away. Do not bother your interlocutor with excessive attention and chatter. Any conversation should end before the person begins to hint about it or speak directly about it.
Call by name. For some reason, few people remember this point in the modern world. But in fact, any person is always pleased to hear his name. Therefore, you need to try to do this as often as possible. Thus, respect for the interlocutor is shown and the first impression of his opponent also improves. Naturally, this does not apply to business meetings where it is necessary to address people by name and patronymic.
Make eye contact. No matter how strange it may sound, the method really works. A direct look into the eyes indicates that this person really cares about his interlocutor. The maneuver will definitely be appreciated.

How to make a first impression - watch the video:

The psychology of first impression is extremely popular in the modern world. The influence on subsequent communication and the development of any relationship is almost always built on this principle. Therefore, it is very important to be able to not only express yourself correctly when meeting, but also learn to objectively evaluate your new acquaintances. This way, a person will never have problems with misunderstandings or underestimation of his personality, and all important conversations will become ordinary small talk.

The first impression of a person is formed in 7 seconds. Whether it's a party, a date, a job interview or a meeting with business partners, always be fully prepared, because there will be no other chance to make a good first impression.

How to leave a good impression about yourself?

Do you chronically make a bad impression on people or have trouble communicating when you meet someone for the first time? No problem - in this material we will tell you how to win over any person with whom chance brings you together.

Others are shy too

Constriction – main reason, in which the acquaintance may not go as you expected. But it works both ways - you have no idea how many people consider themselves shy. In 1995, 40% of respondents surveyed by statisticians considered themselves “shy”; by 2007 their number had grown to 58%. Remember that most people feel uncomfortable being in a room with strangers.

Down with selfishness

When contemplating first contact, many ask questions: “How to avoid awkward situations? How can you turn the situation to your advantage?” Psychologists advise that before the first dialogue with new acquaintances, change this attitude to “What can I do for these people?” Having to think about others first will distract you from your insecurities and defuse the situation.

Smile

Peter Mende-Sedlecki, a doctor of social psychology from New York University, has proven that people generally trust “friendly” faces and reject “hostile” ones. At the same time, a person needs only 34 milliseconds to read facial expressions from the interlocutor’s face and decide whether he is trustworthy. So smile and make eye contact.

Match the occasion

Each event has its own atmosphere. Before you go somewhere where you will certainly have to communicate with strangers, analyze the nature of the event. This will help you get in the right frame of mind and not make mistakes with your choice of clothes and topics of conversation.

Prepare a 7-second story about yourself

No need to write out your biography from a toddler, just tell a couple of things about yourself: “Hi! I'm Christina, the sister of your friend Mitya. I came from Moscow to St. Petersburg this weekend, glad to meet you.” The main goal is to help the interlocutor find common ground and start a dialogue (see point 2). “What do you do?” is perhaps the most popular question when meeting people after the question about their name. Try to interest your interlocutor in your answer and force him to delve deeper into the questions.

Instead of “I am a realtor,” say “I help people find peace of mind and a roof over their heads,” instead of “I edit school textbooks,” say “I show the younger generation the vector of development.” Don't be afraid to sound too pompous; in the end, everything can be reduced to a joke.

Four magic words

Let's say the conversation about your work lasted a minute or a minute and a half. A start has been made - what to do next? Show interest in the other person’s life: “What about you?” Find out about his work, hobbies, and main activities. Attention is always nice. But you shouldn’t feign interest if you don’t have it: you risk being branded a hypocrite in the eyes of another person.

Use body language

You can approach the theory of body language in different ways, but you should not deny the influence of nonverbal signals on your impression of a person. If the interlocutor “mirrors” your manners and postures, the speed and rhythm of speech, you unconsciously feel acceptance towards him - “Yes, he’s on board! We look alike and I like him.” At the same time, mirroring should not be obvious - this can cause rejection. Also watch your posture, facial expression and gestures: your back should be straight, your face should be friendly, your gestures should be relaxed.

Wear what you like

Fact: You feel more confident in comfortable clothes. This doesn't mean you should show up to a business meeting in stretchy sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but you shouldn't wear a tight suit or tight shoes with huge heels. It is important to find a balance between the dress code established at the event and your comfort.

Give continued compliments

“Amazing shoes!” - undoubtedly, your interlocutor will be pleased to hear this. But a much better “investment” for further conversation would be the phrase “Amazing shoes! I've been dreaming about something like this for a long time. Where did you buy them, if it’s not a secret?”

Read as much as possible

As a rule, well-read people are excellent conversationalists. Stay up to date with the latest news, from the release of the Blade Runner remake to the armed uprising in Venezuela.

Don't wait for people to be interested in you

This is a common mistake many introverts make: “I’ll wait until someone starts talking to me.” Luck smiles when you take the first step. Be the first to make contact. Smile, stand up straight and look straight into the eyes - these are three things that inspire trust.

Talk to outsiders

You see lonely standing man at a lively party? Meet him! Most likely, he cannot overcome his shyness and will be very glad of your attention. “You look like an interesting person,” says such an action.

Give your full attention

When talking to a person, do not be distracted by calls, messages, etc. social media, do not look behind his back in search of acquaintances with whom you would be more willing to communicate. It's just plain ugly.

Don't be afraid of groups

A group of three or more people is more open to new “members” than two people having a one-on-one conversation. A large company rarely talks about anything personal, but by interfering in a conversation between two people, you can become a “third wheel.”

Be sensitive

If you're having a conversation with friends and you see someone trying to join in, take half a step back and invite them. Both this person and your friends will appreciate the nobleness of this gesture.

End the conversation wisely

Ending a conversation correctly is no less difficult than starting it. We propose the following scheme:

Interrupt yourself, not the other person.
Smile. Let them know that it was a pleasure meeting you and that you are grateful for their time.
“But, please excuse me, I need...” to give a ride to a friend from work, to pick up a child from school, to go to the store in time. The main thing is to make it clear that you are ending the conversation for an important reason, and not because you are bored

We hope that these tips will help you feel more confident at any event and not be afraid to make new acquaintances. Below we will talk about how to behave on a date to impress a girl or guy.

How to make a first impression on a girl or guy?

If you are suddenly reading these lines in some cozy cafe and an attractive representative of the opposite sex comes into your field of vision, we offer a few tips that will help you smoothly turn an acquaintance into a first date.

Give a compliment

But don't overdo it. Think about what good things you can say about him/her so that your words sound sincere. You can compliment clothes or appearance, but this is too predictable. If you have a good sense of humor, don't be afraid to joke. Avoid vulgar jokes and hackneyed jokes, such as “They called me from heaven and said that their most beautiful angel was missing.”

Take care of your appearance

Alas, the phrase about meeting over clothes is more relevant than ever. Even if you shine with wit and put Cicero to shame with your eloquence, all your efforts will go down the drain if you are lax with your appearance.

Mind your manners

Girls really appreciate respectful signs of attention. Under no circumstances should you violate her personal space in the first minutes of meeting her, but you can hold the door for her, give her your hand in front of the step, or treat her to a drink. Do not allow rude and obscene jokes or obscene language. You shouldn’t wash the bones of those around you, even if the woman at the next table slurps very unpleasantly. Be polite to everyone around you.

Feel confident

Even if there is a fire raging inside you, remain calm and confident. In no case should you slouch, look from under your brows, take a closed pose (crossed arms) or use insincere gestures (hands near your face, shifting gaze).

Lead the conversation in the right direction

Don't reveal too personal details too early. Let your first conversation take place within the framework of things that are relevant, but general. Ask questions rather than talk about yourself: what your interlocutor does, where he studied, how he likes to spend his time, in a word, try to find common interests. Try to avoid awkward pauses: at this moment, both you and your interlocutor feel out of place, and who would want to continue communication on such terms?

Don't brag

Nobody likes a braggart, especially women. From the first minutes of acquaintance, there is no need to boast of connections, a highly paid position or a luxury car. By doing this you will declare yourself as a selfish and mercantile person.

Don't be afraid of rejection

Saying “no” is not the end of the world. It may not be about you at all. The main thing is a positive attitude towards your interlocutor and yourself. Remember: if you think that you don't deserve her/his attention, your interlocutor will think the same way.

Finally, the editors of the site invite you to go through to find out what people think about you in the first minute of meeting you. If its results upset you, do not despair - everything is in your hands!
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Interview, party or date. The ability to quickly please others is much more useful than you might imagine. A great first impression allows you to achieve success in your career, making friends, and improving your personal life. A good impression allows you to be popular among men and beautiful girls.

“Life never gives us a second chance to make a first impression” Mark Levy

They say that the first impression is the most accurate and true. The first impression is made in 7 seconds. This could be an interview, a party or a date. It often happens that there simply is no second chance. Some people manage to make a good first impression easily and naturally, while others find it more difficult. But making a good first impression is not at all difficult if you know some tricks of the professionals.

1. Be sure to smile

2. Don’t wait until people are interested in you, but take the first step yourself

3. Shake hands firmly and confidently.

4. Don't be afraid to say hello to someone first.

5. Act confident, but not like an overconfident braggart.

6. Keep your back straight and your posture beautiful and confident.

7. Always look appropriate for the situation. Dress better than the situation requires

8. Your appearance should always be neat, neat and even impeccable.

9. Take care of your wardrobe, hairstyle, stubble, nails and body odor

10. Keep your teeth snow-white and your breath fresh

11. Be calm, don't fuss or get nervous

12. Remember the person’s name and call them by name a couple of times in conversation.

13. Look into the eyes of the interlocutor, do not get distracted and do not look away

15. Relax so that the interlocutor feels the naturalness of the situation

16. Behave nobly, help others and especially girls

17. Be friendly and positive

18. Look at yourself through the eyes of other people and correct your behavior

19. A good and positive mood guarantees a good conversation

20. Keep it simple, everyone is drawn to such people

21. Show a sense of humor, but don’t go overboard

22. Be interested in people: opinions, desires, hobbies, interests and life

23. Ask your interlocutor for advice, this will increase his self-esteem

24. Be punctual and don’t keep people waiting for you.

25. Choose topics for conversation that are interesting to the interlocutor, not to you

26. Avoid controversial topics and conversations (politics, religion, etc.)

27. Talk less and listen more to your interlocutor

28. Never interrupt your interlocutor

29. Use active listening techniques, ask leading questions and assent

30. Look for common ground and things that connect you.

31. Don’t be intrusive, don’t drag out the conversation too much so that the interlocutor doesn’t get bored

32. Treat everyone with respect, even “little” people

33. Be sincere and trustworthy

34. Don’t complain, don’t talk about your problems and don’t burden your interlocutor

35. Try to present yourself in the best possible light.

36. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to act naturally

37. Speak clearly, clearly and slowly

38. While standing or sitting, lean slightly towards the interlocutor, this will show interest

39. Learn to love people and enjoy communicating with them

40. Try to look active and sporty - everyone likes it

41. Don’t be distracted during a conversation by calls, telephones or other people

42. Use body language: gestures, gaze, gait, facial expressions

43. Don't look closed off. Don't squeeze, don't cross your arms and legs

44. Be self-ironic and don't take yourself too seriously

45. Don’t be smart and don’t be uncompromising

46. Mind your manners and behave with dignity

47. Mirror your interlocutor, unobtrusively repeating his posture, behavior and speech

48. Give compliments and slightly flatter your interlocutor

49. Let your interlocutor understand that she is important, valuable and interesting

50. End the conversation on a positive note.

These simple ways will help you make a good and excellent first impression. Too much depends on this in your career and personal life to ignore. Keep it as a keepsake so you can always be prepared.

Many people get confused when meeting a new person. Numerous questions arise: what to say, how to behave, etc. Below are 12 basic rules on how to behave in such a situation. They will help you overcome embarrassment and create the best impression of yourself.

1. First you need to relax. Free yourself from internal tension and constraint. Try to start a conversation.

2. Smile. Looking sullen or serious will not make you more attractive.

3. When speaking, use the other person's name. This will help make the conversation more personal.

4. Don't look away from your interlocutor. Proper eye contact plays a huge role in communication.

5. Don't slouch. You will not be able to produce good impression on others if you shrink or slouch. By the way, poor posture is also considered one of the signs of an insecure person.

6. Be yourself. Don't try to portray yourself in a better light by lying. For example, there is no need to lie that you are on a diet, because it is fashionable if in fact you raid your refrigerator every night.

7. Know how to not only speak, but also listen. Of course, to make the impression of an interesting interlocutor, you need to be able to carry on a conversation. However, you should not chat incessantly. It's more important to demonstrate that you're also a good listener.

8. Be careful with humor. It would be a pity if one stupid joke ruins all the good impressions of you.

9. Don't interrupt your interlocutor, but check the details from time to time. If the topic is not interesting to you, then try switching to another one no earlier than after 5 minutes.

10. Appearance is of great importance. Remember this.

11. Speak confidently and convincingly, but in moderation. You should not allow your conversation to develop into your monologue.

12. And last tip: Never start dating by discussing your personal problems. Under no circumstances start complaining to a new acquaintance.

Now you know how to make a good impression, all you have to do is use these tips.

It is believed that first impressions are often deceiving. Surely, you have more than once encountered a situation when, when you met a person, you seemed uninteresting or arrogant, but later you changed your opinion about him in better side. Why is this happening? Due to a person’s inability to make a good impression when meeting someone. And you too may be such a person. We've put together ten tips to help you learn how to make a good first impression.

1. Usually, immediately after meeting, people around you want you to tell a little about yourself. Think about what is most important to you in life and talk about it. If not everything is going well for you in some area of your life, for example, you are still not married or you have no children, then you should skip detailed description your problems and focus your attention on what you do best. Everyone is interested in hearing about travel, unusual hobbies or an interesting profession.

2. Show general friendliness. If your friends have already described in detail all the shortcomings of your interlocutor, stop constantly thinking about them, and give yourself the opportunity to form your own idea of the person. It's no secret that we behave differently with different people. Perhaps this person to whom you will give a chance in advance good attitude on your part, will one day become the most significant and beloved for you.

3. Despite the advice, do not try to remember the names of new acquaintances. It is better to keep in your memory the first impression of them, because it is usually the most correct.

4. When you talk about yourself for the first time, do not mention the names of your friends and relatives. If you communicate in the same professional circle or have similar interests, there is a high probability that your friends are known. Therefore, they may form an opinion about you based on what your friend is like. After all, most people know that like is drawn to like, so all the shortcomings and unseemly actions of your friends will be attributed to you.

5. Don't reveal your dreams and plans for the future. Despite the fact that this goes without saying, many girls make this mistake. Often they do this because there is nothing significant or outstanding about them. real life They can’t brag, so they think that they can be respected because of their ambitions.

6. When communicating, you should not switch to any narrow topics of conversation. Also, you should not express your attitude towards various figures of art or politics. Most importantly, you should not give your assessment to people whose behavior seems unacceptable to you. You don’t know who is really in what relationship. Besides, you don't know the past of your new friends. In the modern world, tolerance and loyalty are most valued. So try to look like just such a person.

7. Contain your emotions if new company You absolutely didn't like it. It is better to politely avoid upcoming meetings than to quarrel, argue or prove something on the first day of meeting.

8. Don't brag. It is quite possible that in the area in which you are proud, your interlocutor has achieved much more, but is simply being modest and does not mention it.

9. Under no circumstances should you push for pity, complain about others or ask for anything on the first day of meeting someone. Believe me, not every person is ready to solve the problems of the first person they meet. Therefore, you will not cause anything but irritation.

10. Try not only to answer questions, but also to ask them. Moreover, ask not out of respect, but ask what you really want to know. If you want to ask something personal, then do it only if you have not been embarrassed to ask you about something similar before.

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