What to do if you are discouraged. Good advice from psychologists

Losing a job usually leads to low mood and decreased self-esteem. Especially in case of dismissal. My hands give up, I want to bury myself under the blanket and never come out of my shelter again.

How to get out of an emotional hole and regain a good mood? What to do to avoid falling into prolonged depression and what ways to cheer up? You will find answers to all questions in this article.

Anger and resentment are unfortunate companions to dismissal. Having lost your job, you are angry at the boss who did not appreciate you and at your colleagues with their underhanded intrigues. In the end, you are angry with yourself for failing to show proper professionalism and restraint in this situation.

Repressed anger undermines the nervous system from the inside. Therefore, do not keep your emotions to yourself - give aggression a way out. Of course, you shouldn’t come to the office and throw a tantrum former leader or calling co-workers idiots. It would be more correct to talk to your loved ones and relatives and tell them everything that is in your heart.

However, don't get carried away by excessively long stories about what a scoundrel your boss is. Otherwise you will turn into a grouch. At this point, even your loved ones will begin to avoid your company. But right now you really need their support.

Release your anger and irritation:

you can kick the pillow with excitement));
you can get rid of aggression through sports (for example, go running or do squats);
You can draw your emotions in a picture or describe them in a story.

Better yet, write a letter to everyone who annoys you. But don't send it. Finally, realize that you will no longer have to interact with these people every day. A definite plus, isn't it?

Perhaps the thing you're most angry with isn't your boss or co-workers, but yourself. In this case, think about it: maybe low professionalism is not the only reason why you could lose your job? It is possible that a banal layoff is to blame for your dismissal. Then even more so there is no reason to engage in self-criticism.

If you know about your mistakes (for example, you were late for work every day), perceive dismissal as an incentive to self-organize.

Once you have let go of your resentment and gotten rid of your anger, proceed to lift your mood.

5 proven ways to cheer up after being fired

The most unpleasant consequences of dismissal are blues and depression. Do not despair. Here are some ways to avoid discouragement.

Quitting is profitable!

No kidding. Just imagine, now you have so much time to put your thoughts in order and do what you like.

Take advantage of the break and change the situation- go on vacation for a couple of days. Traveling will relieve stress and distract you from worries. This way, you will break out of your routine and change your outlook on life.

. The sooner you find her, the sooner you will get rid of the stress of being fired.

Think about what you would like to do In fact. Write down everything you love to do on a piece of paper. Perhaps the list will make you think about changing your craft.

If you are firmly convinced that you have chosen an interesting specialty for yourself, take advanced training courses or sign up for training. New knowledge will make you more confident.

Once you figure out what you want from your career, make a plan for the future. Set your goals and outline the ways you will achieve them. Stick to a busy schedule and you'll find there's no time left for depression or regret about quitting.

Of course, going through a layoff is not easy. But remember: you should never give up. No one but you can help you get rid of stress. Pull yourself together and, following our advice, put your life and feelings in order.

Good luck and good mood!

Cartoon: Masyanya about the director

Any person has found himself in a difficult situation of grief, failure or loss in his life. Everyone knows the feeling of confusion, despair and hopelessness, the feeling of one’s own inferiority. Some people know how to quickly cope with such a condition and rebuild, some succeed over time, and some are “knocked out of the saddle” for a very long time, if not forever, consider themselves losers, broken by fate or circumstances, stop acting, living a full life , go into illness or binge drinking, and maybe into depression. What to do?

Despair is one of the deadly sins. This means that you should not give in to panic, indulge in decadent moods, despair, lose hope and fall into the blues. It is very easy to proclaim, but very difficult to do. Let's try to figure out how not to give in to despair and how to overcome despondency. Maybe, after all, there are some ways to fight and overcome this difficult mental state.

1. Believe in yourself and your strengths. It means knowing that you can endure and overcome a lot. Know that a lot depends on you, and you are not just a “cog”. If it doesn't work out the first time, it will work out the next time.

2. Soberly, honestly (to yourself) and realistically assess your capabilities and abilities. This means being aware of the level of your knowledge and skills, understanding that someone may be better than you. A balanced assessment will allow you to avoid disappointment and trouble, unnecessary and wasted effort. But is anyone stopping us from becoming better, stronger, wiser, more professional? Nobody but ourselves.

3. Calm analysis of the situation. It is necessary to calmly, without emotions, evaluate the unsuccessful experience and understand what was done wrong, or whether the efforts were not enough, or maybe, on the contrary, too much. Analyzing the situation will give you peace of mind; only in a balanced state can you find a constructive solution. And a calm, even state is no longer melancholy.

4. Learn a lesson. This means understanding that failure is a precursor to victory, and everyone has failures, but not everyone views failure as a failure. It's just an EXPERIENCE. Tolerating failure releases success. It is necessary to develop the habit of taking advantage of failure; this is one of the most important techniques for achieving success.

5. Get support – moral and professional. This means turning to loved ones for help - family, friends. And/or contact specialists - doctors, teachers, psychologists, spiritual teachers. Support and assistance from loved ones difficult situations necessary for everyone. But, if you very often asked for help and have exhausted the trust of relatives and friends, then a difficult situation is just the case when you can take control of your destiny. own hands.

6. Look for the positive in what happened. It is a known fact that as a result of the crisis, one very wealthy businessman lost $100 million. He ONLY had 100 thousand dollars left. He committed suicide. The loss of money was the loss of everything for him, even worse than the loss of life.

And now let’s imagine an average citizen who didn’t have a ruble and suddenly had 100 thousand dollars! A lot of money! It turns out that this is from which point of view to look at. We remained alive and well, everything is fine in the family - the rest can be survived and overcome.

7. Do not break laws - state and moral. This will make it possible to live in harmony with yourself and with others, and will not lead to difficult and dangerous (and perhaps irreparable) situations.

8. Distraction. Remember what Scarlett O'Hara said? “I’ll think about it tomorrow...” An intractable, or maybe completely insoluble situation is not the whole of life, it’s only a part, albeit a very painful one. There should be a lot in life that “keeps you afloat”. These are love, friendship, religion, nature, art (literature, painting, music, etc.), sports, hobbies. Find an activity that will distract you from heavy thoughts, or just do something else. This could be general cleaning, repairs, something that will take all your energy and time. It’s not for nothing that people say that the morning is wiser than the evening.

Just don’t go into alcohol and other similar pleasures. This will only drive the problem deep, from where it will be difficult to get it out, and it will also add to the moral and physical hangover.

9. Avoid negative emotions, especially guilt and shame. These emotions are not helpful in solving difficult life problems. Negative emotions interfere with the full functioning of the brain; with them it is not possible to make the right decision at the moment. And the saddest thing is that negative emotions are the basis for the emergence of various addictions, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc.

10. Take responsibility into your own hands. Taking responsibility means understanding that only you yourself are responsible for your life, its quality, personal achievements, and not shifting the blame to colleagues, parents, teachers, bosses, etc. If you did something wrong, then try to correct the situation in word and deed - apologize, talk and explain your position, help fix what you messed up.

11. Smile! If you feel very bad at heart, try to smile, and even forcefully stretch your lips into a smile. The body remembers that this position of the lips corresponds good mood, and, surprisingly, your mood will begin to level out and even (!) improve. Tension, emotional and physical, will begin to subside, and the situation will no longer seem so insoluble or tragic.

Failures that haunt us can develop a fear of failure and a strategy of avoidance. This means that a person will not strive to achieve success, but will refuse active actions and try with all his might to avoid failure. The worst news is that no one can help you overcome this fear. But the best news is that everything is in our hands. We have a choice: either we grow huge weeds of fear, or we can sow the seeds of faith in ourselves and our strengths. Good luck!

Situations in life are different - simply unpleasant (when relatives unceremoniously move into your home for the whole summer), extremely inconvenient (the next inflation depreciates the savings for the whole year) or completely “out of the ordinary” (when we are suddenly informed that serious problems have been discovered with health, and you will have to follow the strict recommendations of doctors for a long time). It seems that everything is going down the drain - dreams of a relaxing vacation, buying desired things and in general... Confidence in our abilities disappears, and we want to be indignant at the entire Universe: “Why me?!.” The reaction, in general, is normal - but not useful for us. Is it possible to survive trouble and ultimately turn circumstances to your advantage?

How do we resist the inevitable?

Psychologists have long described four stages of accepting an event that diverges from our expectations or even causes severe psychological trauma. At first, it seems to a person that this is not happening to him, or that he is dreaming about what is happening. He then realizes the reality of events and becomes enraged. After this outbreak, a creative approach is activated: the person makes plans (often utopian) that can correct the situation. And finally, if nothing can be corrected, you have to accept what happened, having experienced a corresponding portion of negativity. In especially severe cases, such a scheme helps a person protect his psyche from a sharp blow, that is, each stage really performs an important function.

First phase - negation- this is both a defensive reaction and a check of the situation (what if false information was received, or the participants in the event change their minds?), and an attempt to look at what is happening from a different angle in order to find loopholes to get out of the situation at the last moment. Reluctance to believe is also a way to simply delay unpleasant experiences, which, if the body is unprepared, can lead to a “stroke” (heart attack, stroke, etc.) If no one suddenly reveals “Happy April Fools” or “I was filming you” hidden camera", the person has to return to reality, so to speak, with nothing - and the phase ends with a feeling of irritation.

The second phase allows you to throw out at least part of the accumulated negative energy into the environment (otherwise the body and psyche would be destroyed in no time). A person can react through strong emotions such as fear, guilt, etc. Many people (especially in the old days) were fixated on this particular phase: in order not to move to the stage when it really “hurts”, they can take revenge for years on those whom they consider guilty of what happened. As one of Brad Pitt's movie characters said, “only two things are inevitable in this world - death and taxes.” If the situation is still connected with living people, then the second phase ends with a feeling of hope and the feeling that he just needs to be found.

Third phase - struggle- performs one of two functions: if you are lucky, a person can find alternatives, make a response move and at least partially correct the results of an undesirable event; Well, if this fails, the struggle will at least help soften the blow and console your conscience with the thought “I did everything in my power.” People who get stuck in this phase for a long time and to no avail are prisoners of fantasy. They either endlessly replay the recent past in their heads and mentally correct the situation so that the unpleasant does not happen at all. As a result, you can practically move to a far-fetched parallel universe, where everything is rosy and cloudless - but, alas, this will not solve the problem. Others spend too long making plans on how to fix everything in reality - but never do anything. For those who do not linger on at this stage, eventually a feeling of hopelessness and despair appears.

Fourth phase - experiencing pain- perhaps the most difficult, but also the most rewarding of all. It helps you accept what happened and finally feel able to live and move on. But everything that has been said is relevant only for really serious situations, and what about minor troubles and events that we only perceive as a disaster - although in fact, due to a surge of emotions, we simply exaggerate their scale and significance. Maybe you can immediately skip to the third or fourth stage and save your nerves and time? It turns out that it is possible!

How to quickly accept the situation?

The less we worry about the current situation, the better for ourselves. We usually have two sources of energy at our disposal: normal and the so-called “second wind”. From the first, we calmly spend energy and just as calmly replenish it - for this it is enough to get enough sleep, consume a sufficient amount of calories, communicate with nice people. To spend reserve energy, you must first deplete the main reserves - but replenishing this source will not be easy or quick (like, say, oil). But if you do not return the borrowed energy, the consequences will be sad: the destruction of the body, which is working for wear and tear. Therefore, spending too much is not beneficial for any of us.

An active solution can be to unconditionally accept the situation: “Yes, this happened. It doesn’t matter what the plans were - from now on they change dramatically.” There is no need to worry or be passively inactive, being in a dead end. A philosophical view of the problem helps you find patience and direct your energy in the right direction. Okay, but how do you set yourself up for this type of thinking?

= A good place to start is to distance yourself emotionally from the situation. Imagine everything that happens in the form of a comic book: the characters are caricatures, and what is happening is both stupid and funny... After all, we laugh when in comedies people stumble and fall, making grimaces and rubbing the bruised area. So why not laugh at yourself?

= Mentally transport yourself to a time when all the troubles are behind you. Imagine how you remember them with laughter and a sense of relief, and then ironically tell your friends how it all ended. Pick up some barbs in advance that you can use to ridicule your offenders.

= Imagine the line of your destiny, stretching from birth to old age. Now think about what will be an unpleasant event on this long line? A tiny dot, or even nothing at all.

= “I was sad that I didn’t have shoes - until I saw a man on the street who had no feet.” This wisdom says that everything is learned through comparison. Just think about people who found themselves in a similar, but even more difficult situation - and your experiences will seem ridiculous against their background.

= Whatever the picture of events, try to find “but” in it - some hidden benefit, opportunity, lesson for the future. There is no point in simply feeling sorry for yourself - try to analyze what happened and draw useful conclusions for yourself. Just imagine what could happen in the future - if you didn't know all this now?

= “What does not kill us makes us stronger,” said Nietzsche. Look at what happened as a strengthening of your personality and an opportunity to grow above yourself. After all, they also say that “we are not given more than we can bear.”

1. Believe in yourself and your strengths. It means knowing that you can endure and overcome a lot. Know that a lot depends on you, and you are not just a “cog”. If it doesn't work out the first time, it will work out the next time.

2. Soberly, honestly (to yourself) and realistically assess your capabilities and abilities. This means being aware of the level of your knowledge and skills, understanding that someone may be better than you. A balanced assessment will allow you to avoid disappointment and trouble, unnecessary and wasted effort. But is anyone stopping us from becoming better, stronger, wiser, more professional? Nobody but ourselves.

3. Calm analysis of the situation. It is necessary to calmly, without emotions, evaluate the unsuccessful experience and understand what was done wrong, or whether the efforts were not enough, or maybe, on the contrary, too much. Analyzing the situation will give you peace of mind; only in a balanced state can you find a constructive solution. And a calm, even state is no longer melancholy.

4. Learn a lesson. This means understanding that failure is a precursor to victory, and everyone has failures, but not everyone views failure as a failure. It's just an EXPERIENCE. Tolerating failure releases success. It is necessary to develop the habit of taking advantage of failure; this is one of the most important techniques for achieving success.

5. Get support - moral and professional. This means turning to loved ones for help - family, friends. And/or contact specialists - doctors, teachers, psychologists, spiritual teachers. Everyone needs support and help from loved ones in difficult situations. But, if you have asked for help very often and have exhausted the trust of relatives and friends, then a difficult situation is just the case when you can take control of your destiny into your own hands.

6. Look for the positive in what happened. It is a known fact that as a result of the crisis, one very wealthy businessman lost $100 million. He ONLY had 100 thousand dollars left. He committed suicide. The loss of money was the loss of everything for him, even worse than the loss of life.

7. Do not break laws - state and moral. This will make it possible to live in harmony with yourself and with others, and will not lead to difficult and dangerous (and perhaps irreparable) situations.

8. Abstraction. Remember what Scarlett O'Hara said? “I’ll think about it tomorrow...” An intractable, or maybe completely insoluble situation is not the whole of life, it’s only a part, albeit a very painful one. There should be a lot in life that “keeps you afloat”. These are love, friendship, religion, nature, art (literature, painting, music, etc.), sports, hobbies. Find an activity that will distract you from heavy thoughts, or just do something else. This could be general cleaning, repairs, something that will take all your energy and time. It’s not for nothing that people say that the morning is wiser than the evening.

9. Avoid negative emotions, especially guilt and shame. These emotions are not helpful in solving difficult life problems. Negative emotions interfere with the full functioning of the brain; with them it is not possible to make the right decision at the moment. And the saddest thing is that negative emotions are the basis for the emergence of various addictions, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc.

10. Take responsibility into your own hands. Taking responsibility means understanding that only you yourself are responsible for your life, its quality, personal achievements, and not shifting the blame to colleagues, parents, teachers, bosses, etc. If you did something wrong, then try to correct the situation in word and deed - apologize, talk and explain your position, help fix what you ruined.

11. Smile! E If you feel very bad at heart, try to smile, and even forcefully stretch your lips into a smile. The body remembers that this position of the lips corresponds to a good mood, and, surprisingly, the mood will begin to level out and even (!) improve. Tension, emotional and physical, will begin to subside, and the situation will no longer seem so insoluble or tragic.

Sometimes in his life a person is faced with difficult circumstances that require incredible perseverance from him. So how not to lose heart in such situations? It is this question that Grekova tries to answer in the text proposed for analysis.

To do this, the author tells us about Kira Petrovna, a girl who did not break down even after a severe injury that made her disabled. After all, she found support in the person of another character, on whose example the author also reveals the problem posed.

He is Doctor Chagin, a man who also became crippled and, worst of all, lost his family in the war. Despite everything, he did not lower his head and found his meaning in life in serving people. He became a doctor.

One cannot but agree with Grekova. A person in difficult life situations simply needs moral support and something for which he continues to live.

Many writers at all times have tried to answer this question. One of them was Mikhail Sholokhov. In his story “The Fate of a Man,” he talks about Andrei Sokolov, a man who did not break even in the harsh conditions of war.

He went through a lot; he was captured by the Germans. The house where his family was was destroyed by a bomb. It seemed impossible to lose heart after this. But Andrei did not despair, did not lose his humanity. So he adopts an orphan boy and finds his purpose in giving him all his love.

This problem was also raised by Cecilia Ahern in her novel The Brand. In it, she talks about a seventeen-year-old teenage girl, Celestine, who lived in a society where sanctions were applied to people for moral transgressions and marks were placed on their skin. Misdemeanors also included helping those who were stigmatized. This is exactly what Celestine did: she helped a choking old man on the bus. Subsequently, the girl could avoid being branded: she only had to admit her guilt in court. But without changing her mind, she proudly announced that she did everything right. As a result, she became the first person in the history of the state to receive as many as six brands.

The incident was a strong blow for the girl. Many friends and acquaintances abandoned her, she was beaten by her own classmates, and insulted by passers-by. But she did not give up, finding support in the face of loving parents, and also defining a goal for herself: to fight for her rights, the rights of the stigmatized.

To summarize, we can say that when finding ourselves in difficult life situations, it is very important for a person to receive support from loved ones, to find a goal for himself, the implementation of which would help to cope with the hardships of life.

Updated: 2018-06-23

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