Home business ideas: making money on unemployment! Unemployed husband

Many have now lost their jobs, are left with large loan debts, and do not know what to do. Or simply, as a result of rising prices, there is not enough money.
Sitting and feeling sorry for yourself will not help matters. Need to find new job or start your own business, in general, look for options to earn more.

And in this, oddly enough, in addition to professional skills, psychological aspects, mood, attitude towards oneself and towards life play a big role. The materials in this section will help you look at the situation in a new way, more realistically and optimistically.

Online course that can change your situation:“Financial well-being - without deception and psychological pop”

Is it worth pursuing success like this? Alexey Gorbanev
Last year, our neighbor, who holds a rather important position, quit her job, rented out her beautiful three-room apartment to a successful young family and went to live in the country. Forever. She still had 15-20 years left before retirement. The people around were perplexed and twirled their fingers at their temples. Quit this job? Such an apartment? Trade everything for a wooden hut with lilacs under the window and a view of the swamp? It is not normal. Everyone dreams of achieving such success!

What problems can arise between spouses when the husband stops earning money? How to wisely build relationships during this difficult time for the family? Consulted by a Moscow psychologist, coach, full member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League Anna Torievna Kartashova.

– Many women today go through such a test - the husband comes home and says that he has lost his job. What problems can arise in the relationship between spouses?

Much depends on how the family budget is structured. If the share of men’s earnings in it was decisive, then, of course, the family enters a zone of material instability - they have to save, spend money set aside for a “rainy day.” The family is under stress and there is uncertainty about the future. The wife's dissatisfaction is building up. Quarrels between spouses and mutual claims are possible. And here a lot depends on the characters of people, on the roles they play in the family. We must understand that unemployment is a serious life test. It can harden, or it can break.

– What mistakes do women make when their husband is unemployed?

A woman may begin to find fault with little things, nag, scold, but the worst development of events is that she may unconsciously devalue her husband. He has always performed the function of “breadwinner”, “breadwinner”, and this function is not fulfilled. The wife is dissatisfied, and the husband begins to feel that he is not appreciated, respected, or loved. It’s bad if a woman starts comparing him with someone: “Others have a job, but you don’t.” It’s bad when she lets him know that he’s good for nothing and lowers his self-esteem.

– How should a wise wife behave?

The main thing is to understand that the husband’s unemployment is a temporary phenomenon. A woman should support her husband, be sensitive, pay him more attention and care. Say encouraging phrases: “It’s not scary that you lost your job, you will find a new one. Everything that is done is for the better. You will find something more suitable and adequate for yourself.”

It is important to understand what happens to a man in a situation of unemployment. He worries, worries, worries about his future. It’s hard for him to realize that now he is so unclaimed. And it doesn’t matter why this happened - he himself left because of some conflict with his boss, he was suddenly fired due to staff reduction, or the company went bankrupt.

– If the situation develops in such a way that for some long time a woman becomes the main breadwinner in the family, how should she build a relationship with her husband?

This is a mirror situation - the wife’s self-esteem is growing. She begins to demand more respect from family members. Sometimes authoritarianism, imperiousness may appear in her character, and command notes may appear in her voice. She is very busy at work and when she comes home, she doesn’t want to stand at the stove and wash the dishes. She wants to be freed from these “womanly duties” because she has become more tired.

It’s good if the husband treats this with understanding and is ready to take the child to kindergarten, go to the grocery store, clean the apartment, cook dinner, wash the dishes.

If he is not used to this and believes that housework is nothing special and should be done by a woman, then conflicts may arise here. The main thing here is to learn to talk and explain your position.

– Is it important to choose the right words so as not to humiliate a man’s dignity?

Certainly. Everything must be done gently. It is wrong to say in an authoritative, commanding tone: “Now I earn more, and you go to the kitchen and wash the dishes.” It’s better to say this: “Darling, help me, please. I understand you: it happened that you lost your job. No one is immune from this. I believe in your strength - you will soon find a job. When you worked a lot, I understood how tired you were, and I created a coziness at home so that you could relax and unwind. I took upon myself almost the entire household part of our life. Now I am the main breadwinner in the family. I'm tired and I don't have the energy to do household chores. Let's switch roles for a moment."

In general, the form of presentation is very important. A man must understand that there is nothing humiliating in the fact that he will engage in homework, for him no. Sometimes it is useful to make a man a list of things that he must do, give him an algorithm so that the situation of his unemployment does not turn into depressive lying on the sofa.

– And if a man gets the taste, his wife earns money, and he sits at home because he cannot find a job he likes. The husband gets used to living at the expense of his wife and acquires the features of a gigolo. What to do here?

If a man is essentially a gigolo, then this is usually visible at the very beginning, when the relationship is just beginning. Let's say she is a successful businesswoman, he is a “free artist” with no specific occupation. Everything here is determined by a woman’s choice. We all know that a wealthy man can take a girl as his wife or mistress, whom he treats like a beautiful toy - he likes that she does not work and is completely dependent on him.

If successful businesswoman she associates herself with a man who does not want to work or earns little, which means that this suits her. Such a man is not necessarily an idle “waster of life.” He can be a good owner: organize everyday life, create comfort, and be an indispensable assistant.

If a man is a “professional” gigolo, then a woman builds a relationship with him for the following reasons: “Yes, I earn money. I finance it. But he is so handsome, he looks after me so gallantly, he accompanies me everywhere. We are a spectacular couple. Everyone envy us." If a woman perceives this positively, then no problems arise in such a couple.

Readers' opinions

Alena, 40 years old

In our family, the husband is the main breadwinner and financial strength; he has always earned much more than me. Last year it happened that Igor lost his well-paid job due to a conflict with his boss, slammed the door and went nowhere. The husband explained his action this way: “I’m tired of the boring, routine work of a systems engineer, I want to do something creative.” He had been looking for a new job for several months.

During this time, I had to become the main breadwinner in the family, and my husband took charge of household. The main difficulty was that I began to get more tired at work and was in a state of stress - I was afraid that my husband’s unemployment situation would drag on. But Igor found a new job that suited him - he makes websites and earns good money again.

Zhanna, 35 years old

The situation “husband is unemployed” is tolerable as a temporary option. If this becomes a man’s lifestyle, then I don’t accept it. I know many families where the wives “work hard” and the husbands perform a “decorative” role - they create the appearance of a male presence in the family, living at the expense of the woman. Of course, each family decides independently who should earn more. There are no common scenarios for everyone. In my opinion, harmonious relationships can only exist between equal partners. After all, this is in the nature of the sexes - the man “harvests the mammoth”, and the woman raises children and creates comfort. Currently, I am raising a child alone and working a lot. Divorced from her husband due to his inability to earn normal money.

Vera, 42 years old

My husband is 15 years older than me. All my life I lived with him as if behind a stone wall. And so it happened that at the age of 57 he lost his job - his position in construction company A young manager took over, and a generational change occurred in the company. The most difficult thing in this situation was my husband’s moral experiences. He suddenly realized that he could not be a breadwinner. He became depressed and worried that he was out of work.

I supported him as best I could - I suggested that he do some repairs at the dacha while we looked for a job for him. The main thing was to fill this vacuum of free time. My husband’s lack of income significantly affected our family’s financial situation. But I didn’t lose heart, I tried to look for the positives in the situation, for example, this one - now we spend more time with each other. My husband was unemployed for six months. And then he was invited to teach at a construction university.

Marina, 38 years old

For many years I lived with the attitude: “Since you are a man, you must earn good money, provide for your family, so that the house is full.” She cultivated ambition and career aspirations in her husband. And she took care of the children and the house. I was not upset that my husband leaves home at 6 in the morning and comes home at 10 in the evening, that he has been working for several years without vacations. But we have a luxurious apartment in the center, two cars, a cottage in the Moscow region.

When the price of all these successes was my husband’s heart attack at the age of 45, we decided to “slow down.” After the heart attack, the husband underwent rehabilitation, took care of his health, did not work for some time, and then changed his field of activity to reduce the load. I think the wife’s task is to always support her husband, to understand that you are one in all situations in life - in happiness, in joy, and also in financial problems, illness or failure.

Based on materials

Unemployment is a difficult condition in life. There is uncertainty about how long this will last. There is unfounded criticism from people who call the unemployed many things, lazy and stubborn. And there is an urgent need to pay for a roof over your head and put food on the table. All of these circumstances contribute to endless anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, and relationship breakdowns. Getting through unemployment means staying motivated, feeding your sense of self-worth, and finding the motivation to keep moving forward despite the challenges.

Steps

Part 1

Part 2

Apply for unemployment benefits. If you don't already know, check with your former employer or welfare agency if you can apply straight away. In some cases, you may have to wait until severance pay, bonus and other payments will not exhaust themselves. Once you receive an answer, do what you think is appropriate in the circumstances regarding whether to report immediately or wait.

• In some countries you may be able to qualify for a form of financial support while you are looking for work; however, if you have made yourself voluntarily unemployed, there is generally a minimum period of time that must pass before you can begin the application process.

1. Find out what they can do for you charities. Often you can receive charitable assistance in the form of food packages, clothing, training in new work skills, and so on, through funds that specialize in helping unemployed people. If you feel too proud to take advantage of this kind of help, remind yourself that you are part of what keeps some of the foundation workers in their jobs because their services are in demand if people use them. What's more, sometimes being part of the philanthropic community can be a way to find a new job, especially if you take on community work when you feel ready.

   Talk to family members. In some cases, changes can be made with the help of your immediate family members, who will provide the breathing space needed to recover from your previous job and look for a new one. In other cases, other relatives may be able to help with a loan/mortgage payment or other form of assistance. Think about all the possibilities open to you thanks to family support; For example, if one family member owns a residential property, you could agree to move there and pay lower rent for a while.

Part 3

Part 4

Start the job search process. Once you feel ready (or once you've felt pressured to get along with it), treat your job search like a job of its own. It will seem strange at first, but the procedure will take you longer and, as a rule, will become the only way stamp job applications in an efficient manner.

• Set up a workspace that is entirely dedicated to applying for jobs. It's great if it's somewhere you can close the door and get away from it all for a few hours a day, but even if you can't, carve out a special, quiet corner. If your home is too noisy, plan to set time visit the library or other quiet place.
• When your job search time is up, close the door or throw a newspaper over your workplace. By stopping the search at a certain time, you allow yourself to engage in all the other activities that give you a sense of completeness and normality, such as cooking, exercising, cleaning, having fun, hanging out with friends, and so on. If you allow your job search to take up all of your time during the day, you will likely be less effective and much more irritated with the way your life is being dominated.

1. Rework your resume (CV). Find your current one (your existing one may be so outdated in both content and style that it does you a disservice). Some unemployment agencies and charities offer free resume writing classes or workshops. You can also borrow books on improving your resume from the library. In some cases, spend a little of your savings on improving your resume by contacting professional services, may be worth the expense.

   • Ask family and friends to read your resume and make recommendations.
   • Be prepared for this challenging reality: your resume needs to speak in support of the job you're applying for. Unfortunately, these days, one-size-fits-all no longer fits all. Be prepared to constantly tweak your resume for each job to make it stand out (which is why you should set aside a few hours a day to treat applying for jobs like a job).
   • Learn how to write a good cover letter. There are online resources, books, and video seminars to help you do this. Once you get the hang of it, you won't have to relearn it, and each letter will become easier to write.

2. Keep a journal and write down information about every resume you send, every person you talk to, every job that interests you. Keeping a diary of your unemployment later can make a big difference in your search. There is also the fact that your unemployment agency may call you at any time during your benefit period, and it will help you provide them with a list of the companies you have applied to and every job that you have considered. In this journal, keep notes on vacancies for which you still need work.

   Monitor your applications and take follow-up actions. This is especially important when providing details to employment agencies. They receive a lot of applications, and therefore your data can easily get lost or ignored. Even if you don't get the position you're offered, it's worth finding out why so you can tweak your style and content for your next application - applying is never a waste of time!

Part 5

This section is not for everyone. But sometimes, returning to old job is not good for you, and being unemployed makes you realize that you need a change, a really big change. If so, you will view it as more than just a job search, which will make it somewhat of an adventure.

Retrain yourself. Go back to school. It's not for everyone - many people get weak at the knees at the thought of having to go through exams again and running into even more debt. However, if this is a path that will take you to the next stage of your life, then it could be a great option.

• Do I need a certificate, diploma, college diploma/degree or diploma? higher education? Or can you take several certified courses? Perhaps community service and practice will lead you to where you want to be. Look wider and further before you settle on choosing a course of study/retraining.

1. Take up volunteer work. Keep yourself busy while you look for a job and learn new skills in the process. If you find that you really enjoy it, figure out what you'll need to do to make the switch into that field and what potential opportunities exist within the organization you're volunteering with.

   Think about a small, medium or even large business. Feel like you should quit your job and become an entrepreneur instead? It's risky, it's hard, but for the right person with the right attitude and determination, it can be the perfect solution to permanently removing yourself from the work cycle. Become a job creator instead of a job hunter. To approach this step, consider the following:

   • Deeply analyze your suitability for opening own business. Do you have everything you need? There are tests you can take and good books, what you can read on this topic.
   • What kind of business do you want to start? Do some thorough research on this – is this what people want? Is this niche empty or already filled? Is this viable? Where can you get funds for this? Etc. Read relevant business literature to gain ideas and expand your understanding.
   • Talk with business people that you know. Ask them for ideas and recommendations. They may even give you the opportunity to volunteer and see what it's like.

2. Work freelance, on a freelance basis. This is, one might say, an unstable stream of income, perhaps as you would want for yourself, but it has the advantage of great freedom if the balance is allocated correctly. What are you really good at? What niche can you fill as an expert and desired image? Read the literature and do your research thoroughly before choosing a job for yourself. Also check with your family to see if they support this choice.

   • Do some research online to get an idea of ​​what opportunities exist for your freelancing endeavors.
   • Be positive; Freelancing is hard, but some people are monumentally successful at freelancing. Read about their experiences if you can and get inspired by them. But still, know that if you have skills that are in demand, you can achieve significant success in freelancing.

Part 6

1. Understand that it is not easy to be unemployed. There will be days when you feel like giving up and there will be days when you almost get something only to be disappointed hours later by a call that you weren't a match, the job offer was rescinded due to circumstances beyond your control, and another rejection will fall to your email inbox. This happens and will happen often. When you're feeling particularly down, take a day off. Just like if you were at work and everything fell on you. Go away and do something completely distracted, unwind and start all over again tomorrow. It will still be there waiting for you.

   Have courage - only those who give up will never get another chance. Keep pushing, keep applying, keep visiting, keep mailing. You can bully people, you can impress with your sass and confidence, you can stumble across a tidbit when you least expect it. But you can handle these wonderful moments only by participating and being willing to accept opportunities, even though they seem strange and unconvincing. At some time, it may seem pointless and endless, but with each application you submit, you open up new opportunities and constantly improve your ability to understand people.

   Remember who you are. You may be out of work, but you still matter. You are a professional job seeker. But you can also be a mom/dad/uncle/aunt/grandparent, an accomplished athlete, a hobbyist, a lover of the unusual, a beer connoisseur, a volunteer caregiver, an unrecognized writer, a community member, a humble cook, and so on. You are a combination of many parts, but unemployment does not define you. It may feel like it limits you, but it doesn't define your worth. Be committed to being the best you can be.

   Make a life plan. You have the space and time to think about what you really want from life. Look at this period without work as a wake-up call, an opportunity to re-evaluate the direction you've been heading in. Was that last job what you wanted to do in life? Even if it was, have you achieved the heights that you hoped to have by this time? What really matters to you in the future? Schedule it now and view it as an awakening, a time to restructure your future progress.

2. The web is the main way in our economy that gets you a job; so many candidates apply for one position - and personal connections will put you directly in touch with the hiring manager. Use social media. A network like Linkedin.com has a forum where professionals can network, upload their resumes, collect referrals, meet with clients, connect with former colleagues, and so on.
3. Go out into society, communicate. By not going out and communicating, you make yourself even more unhappy, remember that people are the most important thing in life.
4. There are also “characteristic” job search systems (monster, careerbuilders, indeed, jobfox...to name a few), which, regardless of the industry and/or name of the system, will be able to help you. However, there may be other search engines dedicated to your field and/or industry. They may require a subscription fee. The benefit of these sites is that they tend to be more updated, and you can be sure that they are more likely to meet your needs, desires, your experience and your industry.
5. Consider social networks for job search, for example, Twitter has big amount job advertisements, try typing #jobs + the name of your region in the search bar.

Losing a job is a very big stress, especially during a financial crisis in the country. Psychologist, Gestalt therapist, author of the workshop “9+1 steps to a new and favorite job” Elena Koshkina told us how to come to terms with the status of unemployed and how to survive the period of lack of work.

A person left without work faces three main problems. On the one hand, it's stress. This stress is due to the fact that a person cannot come to terms with this fact and cope with negative emotions. On the other hand, he is frightened by the impending lack of money, especially if he did not have any savings. Finally, the unemployed often does not know what he wants and what to do next. The solution to three tasks determines how successful the avoidance of financial problems will be.

Why did this happen to me?

This question is often asked by people who are unemployed. They can endlessly think about how this happened to them, how unfair it is. He can endlessly feel sorry for himself, blame himself or his superiors, as well as the government or time. Often people try with the help of alcohol or show off, trying to show with all their appearance that there is no problem. In fact, the pain of losing a certain social status does not go away. It is heard in all conversations a person has.

What to do: It’s important to stop feeling sorry for yourself and accept the fact that you are unemployed. This is a serious psychological problem that is quite difficult to solve on your own and will take a long time. It is faster and more effective to do this with the help of a psychologist.

What will happen to me now?

Left without work, we feel... This is a very strong fear that affects our basic need for safety. Especially if a person cannot get help from loved ones during a period of lack of money, and he has not put aside a reserve.

What to do: on the one hand, the lack of resources should stimulate earning money. However, the whole world has already rejected this idea. It is advisable to enlist the support of loved ones, relatives, and friends for a certain time. Just decide initially how much help you need, for what period and in what form. After all, you can ask for help not only with money, but also with connections and moral support. On the other hand, the care of loved ones can serve bad service. Excessive care causes loss of motivation to look for work and earn money on your own, as a result of which the unemployed period can drag on for a long time. Often mothers of adult men turn to a psychologist with complaints that their sons are sitting on their necks and do not want to work. In fact, the problem lies with the women themselves, who feed their children, give them housing, and help them financially.

To cope with the fear of being left without a livelihood, answer yourself the question, what is the worst thing that awaits you if you have no money? Having imagined the most terrible pictures, answer yourself the question: what do I have now? And then it turns out that today is not the worst situation yet, and there is still a very long way to go to starvation on the bench. There are stocks of money, food, there are things that can be sold, there is an opportunity to get money in different ways.

What is my calling?

Finding a calling is one of the most important points in human realization. And just during the period of absence from work there is both the opportunity and the motivation to answer the question: what is my calling? The question “what to do next?” begins to pulsate in the heads of those who are left without work from the first minutes. At the same time, tension grows: a person strives to run somewhere and do something, but at the same time does not understand what he himself wants.

What to do: Divide a piece of paper into three columns. First, write down everything you can do. In the second, mark all of these things that you like to do. In the third column, note what you wrote that people around you evaluate positively. Then it turns out that you know how and love to sew, but in school labor lessons they couldn’t distinguish your product from a factory one. And you might remember the skills of a seamstress. Or everyone you know can’t stop eating your pies. Then you can start making a little more pies and serving various events. Or perhaps you love to dance and could organize a dance club at school. And if you good photographer, but have never made a living with this skill, perhaps it's time to start selling your services.

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