Don't lose heart in a difficult situation. I have nothing to be grateful for... Or how not to lose heart

— Why do you, even in the most difficult situations, manage to remain, maybe not joyful, but at least not embittered towards life? For me, when it’s difficult and hard for me, I usually either take it out on others, or fall into self-pity, and then into depression. I feel sorry for myself, I start to think how bad everything is and that there is no way out of this situation. And I am also sure that the desires I dreamed of will not come true in my life.

- Listen, Lel, if you think that your dreams and desires will not come true, you yourself understand that with such an attitude...

- Yes, I understand everything, so I ask how you manage even in the most difficult life circumstances, even when from your
Those you loved have passed away, how did you manage not to lose heart and continue to live? Where do you get the strength and energy to be reborn from the ashes like a Phoenix? Where do you find the strength, and most importantly, the faith to dream again, set goals, and most importantly, live without aggression and disappointment? How many years have I known you, but even in the most difficult periods, you always manage to remain open and kind towards life and towards people.

“I don’t even know what to tell you to this, dear Lel.” I’m not sure that in difficult, truly painful periods of my life, I always
She was kind to people and acted appropriately. After all, the loss of those whom you loved and who were dear to you is the most difficult thing that we are given to experience. And now I understand that I did not always behave the way I would like. Although, you know better. Sometimes it seems to me that you know much more about me than I know about myself and my life. This is probably not surprising, because you have known me for many, many years.
And from the outside it is more visible.

And as for openness and kindness, the absence of aggression and discontent, the ability not to become discouraged and to continue to live even in the most difficult period of life, there are no secrets or mysteries here. I am simply grateful for what I have now, even though someone or something is leaving my life.

When I start to give thanks, I gradually understand that you don’t need to focus on who you lost, you need to appreciate those who remained
next to you, who is in your life here and now. And remember with gratitude those moments that happened in the past.

Yes, at first it does not relieve pain and feelings of deep regret, but it helps to survive, helps not to offend and not to
it hurts those who are close to you at the moment. Indeed, in our grief, we often do not notice those living nearby and begin to destroy, wound and leave deep scars in the souls of our loved ones.

As for the loss of some material things and unfulfilled expectations... You know, compared to the loss of people dear to you, all this seems to be relegated not only to the background, but to some hundred and seventieth. Lately, when some unforeseen circumstances occur in my life, related specifically to material things, I tell myself: “Let this be the most big problem in my life,” and then I begin to thank for the fact that I live and for those who are next to me.

Try it, everything will fall into place right away.

- What if I have nothing to thank for? No, I’m certainly glad that I have relatives in my life, but essentially that’s all I have.

- Wow! Are you saying that you don't know what to be grateful for? Now I'm not surprised that you periodically experience
apathy, and sometimes depression.

— Theoretically, of course, I understand everything. But in practice... That's what I should be grateful for, I'm an ordinary person, I live an ordinary life. U
I have problems in my family, problems at work. On the one hand, everything seems to be fine, but on the other, I would like it to be better.

- Lel, first of all, thank you for existing. Because you move, so to speak, you move independently in space. Behind
the fact that you have legs, arms, for what you see and hear.

- So it’s natural, do you really need to thank for this? You need something so, well, great! For some accomplishments, achievements and
success!

- This is your main mistake. You expect great things, you think that it is somewhere over the horizon. And this is great here,
right under your feet. This great thing happens in your life every day, every hour, every minute and every moment. And this great thing is you yourself. The creation that you are. And you shouldn’t forget this and not appreciate what you’ve been given. After all, unfortunately, many people are not given what you have. Many will never be able to get up and walk barefoot on the grass. Many will never be able to hear the singing of birds and the sounds of music, many will never be able to
read what you are reading. And you say that there is no need to be grateful for all this and that all this is natural and habitual?

Just imagine for a moment that tomorrow you won’t be able to get out of bed.

- No, no, no, no need to say that!

- Well, why not? You say that this is not worth thanking! - Wait, I need
I even felt a little uneasy. I think I'm starting to understand. You know, I need to think about this. You better tell me how and what else you thank, especially when it’s difficult for you.

- Lel, you know, there is no difference in gratitude when it’s difficult for you, or when, on the contrary, everything is in order and you have a streak of luck. It’s just that in difficult periods, gratitude helps you survive and not lose heart, and in happy periods, gratitude helps you not to become arrogant and start to “star”, to think that all this is eternal. And I thank you for everything. I don’t have any clear system or methodology. It’s just that when there were periods of loss, saying goodbye to people, I was grateful for those who stayed next to me and had not yet left planet Earth for another world. I try to concentrate more on today, absorb every moment of communication, and restrain myself from making any negative statements and manifestations of dissatisfaction. I understand that if this is relevant now, then in a few minutes it won’t matter who spilled the tea, didn’t wipe the table, or made a mess in the closet.

I like it when I can restrain negativity and emotions, and somewhere remain silent or pretend that nothing happened (don’t think, I’m not talking about insults or boorish behavior, I mean some little things that we , as a rule, we react the most). You know, when you are not receptive to little things, only then do you begin to understand that the great thing that you have been waiting for for so long is here. Here it is - right here and now.

Well, when a streak of luck or just calm comes in life, then, as a rule, I thank you for what is happening. And when you give thanks for this, you understand that because something is happening successfully for you, you shouldn’t become exalted or imagine something about yourself that actually isn’t there. After all, all this comes and goes, and the best thing you can do at this moment is just quietly enjoy the happiness that exists.

- Wait, how often should you say thank you? How many times a week?

- That's the question! You know, it has become such a habit for me that in those moments when I am not busy with anything, I begin to thank life for what I have. For example, in the morning I wake up and give thanks for my family. Then, while I take a shower and get ready, I thank life for my body, for the fact that I was born, for the fact that I live. Then, when I'm walking somewhere, or stuck in traffic, or waiting in line, or not doing anything special, I always try to focus my thoughts on what I'm grateful for. I mentally turn to my loved ones, family and friends, send them a ray of light and love from my heart, and tell them how glad I am that they are in my life. Sometimes I focus on material wealth, go over in my thoughts everything that has been given to me and thank Life for it. Sometimes I return to myself and my talents, and thank you for the talents that Life has given me.

- Wait wait. It turns out that at a time when people have all sorts of different thoughts spinning in their heads, for example, how I feel sorry for myself or thoughts about failures, you are going through what is good and successful in your life?

- It turns out that way.

- So this is your secret! That's it, everything is clear to me. It's okay if I go, I have a lot to think about.

If you still have questions, you can get advice from the author of the article and books, A. Guy. Conditions

Sincerely, Anastasia Gai.

Any person has found himself in a difficult situation of grief, failure or loss in his life. Everyone knows the feeling of confusion, despair and hopelessness, the feeling of one’s own inferiority. Some people know how to quickly cope with such a condition and rebuild, some succeed over time, and some are “knocked out of the saddle” for a very long time, if not forever, consider themselves losers, broken by fate or circumstances, stop acting, living a full life , go into illness or binge drinking, and maybe into depression. What to do?

Despair is one of the deadly sins. This means that you should not give in to panic, indulge in decadent moods, despair, lose hope and fall into the blues. It is very easy to proclaim, but very difficult to do. Let's try to figure out how not to give in to despair and how to overcome despondency. Maybe, after all, there are some ways to fight and overcome this difficult mental state.

1. Believe in yourself and your strengths. It means knowing that you can endure and overcome a lot. Know that a lot depends on you, and you are not just a “cog”. If it doesn't work out the first time, it will work out the next time.

2. Soberly, honestly (to yourself) and realistically assess your capabilities and abilities. This means being aware of the level of your knowledge and skills, understanding that someone may be better than you. A balanced assessment will allow you to avoid disappointment and trouble, unnecessary and wasted effort. But is anyone stopping us from becoming better, stronger, wiser, more professional? Nobody but ourselves.

3. Calm analysis of the situation. It is necessary to calmly, without emotions, evaluate the unsuccessful experience and understand what was done wrong, or whether the efforts were not enough, or maybe, on the contrary, too much. Analyzing the situation will give you peace of mind; only in a balanced state can you find a constructive solution. And a calm, even state is no longer melancholy.

4. Learn a lesson. This means understanding that failure is a precursor to victory, and everyone has failures, but not everyone views failure as a failure. It's just an EXPERIENCE. Tolerating failure releases success. It is necessary to develop the habit of taking advantage of failure; this is one of the most important techniques for achieving success.

5. Get support – moral and professional. This means turning to loved ones for help - family, friends. And/or contact specialists - doctors, teachers, psychologists, spiritual teachers. Everyone needs support and help from loved ones in difficult situations. But, if you have asked for help very often and have exhausted the trust of relatives and friends, then a difficult situation is just the case when you can take control of your destiny into your own hands.

6. Look for the positive in what happened. It is a known fact that as a result of the crisis, one very wealthy businessman lost $100 million. He ONLY had 100 thousand dollars left. He committed suicide. The loss of money was the loss of everything for him, even worse than the loss of life.

And now let’s imagine an average citizen who didn’t have a ruble and suddenly had 100 thousand dollars! A lot of money! It turns out that this is from which point of view to look at. We remained alive and well, everything is fine in the family - the rest can be survived and overcome.

7. Do not break laws - state and moral. This will make it possible to live in harmony with yourself and with others, and will not lead to difficult and dangerous (and perhaps irreparable) situations.

8. Abstraction. Remember what Scarlett O'Hara said? “I’ll think about it tomorrow...” An intractable, or maybe completely insoluble situation is not the whole of life, it’s only a part, albeit a very painful one. There should be a lot in life that “keeps you afloat”. These are love, friendship, religion, nature, art (literature, painting, music, etc.), sports, hobbies. Find an activity that will distract you from heavy thoughts, or just do something else. This could be general cleaning, repairs, something that will take all your energy and time. It’s not for nothing that people say that the morning is wiser than the evening.

Just don’t go into alcohol and other similar pleasures. This will only drive the problem deep, from where it will be difficult to get it out, and it will also add to the moral and physical hangover.

9. Avoid negative emotions, especially guilt and shame. These emotions are not helpful in solving difficult life problems. Negative emotions interfere with the full functioning of the brain; with them it is not possible to make the right decision at the moment. And the saddest thing is that negative emotions are the basis for the emergence of various addictions, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc.

10. Take responsibility into your own hands. Taking responsibility means understanding that only you yourself are responsible for your life, its quality, personal achievements, and not shifting the blame to colleagues, parents, teachers, bosses, etc. If you did something wrong, then try to correct the situation in word and deed - apologize, talk and explain your position, help fix what you messed up.

11. Smile! E If you feel very bad at heart, try to smile, and even forcefully stretch your lips into a smile. The body remembers that this position of the lips corresponds good mood, and, surprisingly, your mood will begin to level out and even (!) improve. Tension, emotional and physical, will begin to subside, and the situation will no longer seem so insoluble or tragic.

Failures that haunt us can develop a fear of failure and a strategy of avoidance. This means that a person will not strive to achieve success, but will refuse active actions and try with all his might to avoid failure. The worst news is that no one can help you overcome this fear. But the best news is that everything is in our hands. We have a choice: either we grow huge weeds of fear, or we can sow the seeds of faith in ourselves and our strengths. Good luck!

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Losing a job usually leads to low mood and decreased self-esteem. Especially in case of dismissal. My hands give up, I want to bury myself under the blanket and never come out of my shelter again.

How to get out of an emotional hole and regain a good mood? What to do to avoid falling into prolonged depression and what ways to cheer up? You will find answers to all questions in this article.

Anger and resentment are unfortunate companions to dismissal. Having lost your job, you are angry at the boss who did not appreciate you and at your colleagues with their underhanded intrigues. In the end, you are angry with yourself for failing to show proper professionalism and restraint in this situation.

Repressed anger undermines the nervous system from the inside. Therefore, do not keep your emotions to yourself - give aggression a way out. Of course, you shouldn’t come to the office and throw a tantrum former leader or calling co-workers idiots. It would be more correct to talk to your loved ones and relatives and tell them everything that is in your heart.

However, don't get carried away by excessively long stories about what a scoundrel your boss is. Otherwise you will turn into a grouch. At this point, even your loved ones will begin to avoid your company. But right now you really need their support.

Release your anger and irritation:

• you can kick the pillow with excitement));
• you can get rid of aggression through sports (for example, go running or do squats);
• You can draw your emotions in a picture or describe them in a story.

Better yet, write a letter to everyone who annoys you. But don't send it. Finally, realize that you will no longer have to interact with these people every day. A definite plus, isn't it?

Perhaps the thing you're most angry with isn't your boss or co-workers, but yourself. In this case, think about it: maybe low professionalism is not the only reason why you could lose your job? It is possible that a banal layoff is to blame for your dismissal. Then even more so there is no reason to engage in self-criticism.

If you know about your mistakes (for example, you were late for work every day), perceive dismissal as an incentive to self-organize.

Once you have let go of your resentment and gotten rid of your anger, proceed to lift your mood.

5 proven ways to cheer up after being fired

The most unpleasant consequences of dismissal are blues and depression. Do not despair. Here are some ways to avoid discouragement.

Quitting is profitable!

No kidding. Just imagine, now you have so much time to put your thoughts in order and do what you like.

Take advantage of the break and change the situation- go on vacation for a couple of days. Traveling will relieve stress and distract you from worries. This way, you will break out of your routine and change your outlook on life.

. The sooner you find her, the sooner you will get rid of the stress of being fired.

Think about what you would like to do In fact. Write down everything you love to do on a piece of paper. Perhaps the list will make you think about changing your craft.

If you are firmly convinced that you have chosen an interesting specialty for yourself, take advanced training courses or sign up for training. New knowledge will make you more confident.

Once you figure out what you want from your career, make a plan for the future. Set your goals and outline the ways you will achieve them. Stick to a busy schedule and you'll find there's no time left for depression or regret about quitting.

Of course, going through a layoff is not easy. But remember: you should never give up. No one but you can help you get rid of stress. Pull yourself together and, following our advice, put your life and feelings in order.

Good luck and good mood!

Cartoon: Masyanya about the director

Failures are an integral part of life. In some situations, such obstacles can unsettle us and make us despondent. It's important to focus on the positives and learn to see failures as learning lessons so you never get discouraged when life decides to trip you up.

Steps

Change your worldview

Visualize achieving your goals. Imagine how happy you will be when you get a long-awaited promotion at work or lose a few pounds. Focus on the positive outcome of achieving your goals, but don't be discouraged by the amount of work ahead.

• For example, if you want to save money for a vacation, then decide how much money you will need for the trip, and then think about how to achieve your goal. Don't be alarmed if the task seems impossible at first. You might have to give up your morning latte or turn off cable TV for a year to save some money. Imagine how pleasant it will be for you to move towards achieving your goal.

1. Focus on successes. Don't think about past failures and difficulties that can cool your ardor. On the contrary, focus on successes and actions that can bring you closer to achieving your goal.

   • If you're trying to lose weight, but you had a bad weekend when you overate and forgot to work out at the gym, then there is no need to be upset. Think about what you're doing right, which is returning to the problem on Monday morning or giving yourself a rest before the week. Thinking about doing the right thing rather than doing the wrong thing will help you maintain your attitude and healthy attitude.

2. Failure is an opportunity to learn. We have all failed at something at some point. Remember that the mere fact of failure does not make you a failure. Failures are opportunities to draw conclusions and not repeat mistakes in the future.

   Set realistic goals. Unattainable goals set you up for failure, so choose goals that can be achieved in a reasonable amount of time. Success takes time, and the same goes for most personal goals that cannot be achieved overnight.

   • Break large tasks into smaller subtasks to make them seem more manageable. So, instead of the goal of running a marathon this year, you can start with a 5 km distance.

3. Document your progress. Having tangible proof of success is of no small importance. Visual confirmation of your progress will always lift your spirits and energize you for new achievements.

   • For example, you could chart your weight loss in a journal, record your credit card payments, or keep track of your savings. Every little detail is important, and recording your successes will help you always see what you have already achieved.

Positive attitude

1. Exercise. Physical activity is an effective means of combating depression and a way to improve your mood. If you're frustrated or unmotivated, force yourself to spend at least 20 minutes a day doing physical activity. If possible, go for a run or walk outdoors.

2. Find a mentor. If you have no desire to work, then try to find a mentor among your senior colleagues. This person should be positive and willing to work with you. A person cannot be forced to fulfill this role. Try to find a mentor who can successfully collaborate with you.

   • For example, if you are a new teacher who is feeling a little out of place, ask a friendly colleague how he dealt with stress and difficulties when he first started teaching. Wisdom and experience will always come to the rescue, and you will understand that others have also experienced similar sensations.

Before you start to panic and go to great lengths during the next emergency, re-read this article. Personally, it helps us to control ourselves and positively resolve any problems.

No. 1. Faith

You must believe in yourself and your strength. It means knowing that you can withstand and overcome a lot. Know that a lot depends on you, and you are not just a “cog”. If it doesn't work out the first time, it will work out the next time. They open to those who knock.

No. 2. Evaluate yourself soberly

Soberly, honestly (to yourself) and realistically assess your capabilities and abilities. This means: being aware of your own level of knowledge and skills, understanding that someone can be better. A balanced assessment will allow you to avoid disappointment and trouble, unnecessary and wasted effort. Although, is anyone stopping you from becoming better, stronger, wiser, more professional, and outwitting everyone?

No. 3. Calm analysis of the situation

It is necessary to calmly, without emotions, evaluate the unsuccessful experience and understand what was done wrong, or whether the efforts were not enough. Or maybe, on the contrary, it’s too much. Analyzing the situation will give you peace of mind, because only in a balanced state can a constructive solution be found. And a calm, even state is no longer melancholy and panic.

Source: depositphotos.com

No. 4. Learn a lesson

This means understanding that failure is a precursor to victory, and everyone has failures, but not everyone views failure as a failure. It's just an experience.

Tolerating failure releases success. It is necessary to develop the habit of taking advantage of failure; this is one of the most important ways to achieve success.

No. 5. Get support

Moral and professional support. Don’t be shy to ask for help from your loved ones - family, friends. And/or contact specialists - doctors, teachers, psychologists, spiritual teachers. Everyone needs support and help from loved ones in difficult situations. But don’t go too far: frequent requests for help can exhaust your credibility. Instead of running again to cry into a woman’s skirt (or someone else’s), it’s better to flex your fists. See how it's done correctly:

No. 6. Look for the positive in what happened

It is a known fact that as a result of the crisis, one very wealthy businessman lost $100 million. He only had $100 thousand left. He committed suicide. The loss of money was the loss of everything for him, even worse than the loss of life.

• the relatives of the deceased ask not to disclose the name of the poor fellow

Now let’s imagine an average citizen who didn’t even have a hryvnia. And then “bang!” - and suddenly $100 thousand. So this is crazy money! You can live on them, almost humming. In general, look at situations from different angles, preferably positive ones.

No. 7. Don't break the laws

State and moral laws. This will give you the opportunity to live in harmony with yourself and with those around you, and will not lead to difficult and dangerous (and perhaps irreparable) situations.

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