The computer read Alyonushka's fairy tales, a story smarter than everyone else. Mamin-Sibiryak D.N. - Smarter than everyone else. “Smarter than everyone else” from “Alenushka’s Tales”
Saying
Bye-bye-bye...
One of Alyonushka’s eyes is asleep, the other is watching; One ear of Alyonushka is sleeping, the other is listening.
Sleep, Alyonushka, sleep, beauty, and dad will tell fairy tales. It seems that everyone is here: the Siberian cat Vaska, the shaggy village dog Postoiko, the gray Little Mouse, the Cricket behind the stove, the motley Starling in a cage, and the bully Rooster.
Sleep, Alyonushka, now the fairy tale begins. The high moon is already looking out the window; over there the sideways hare hobbled on his felt boots; the wolf's eyes glowed with yellow lights; Bear Mishka sucks his paw. Old Sparrow flew up to the window itself, knocked his nose on the glass and asked: how soon? Everyone is here, everyone is assembled, and everyone is waiting for Alyonushka’s fairy tale.
One of Alyonushka’s eyes is asleep, the other is watching; One ear of Alyonushka is sleeping, the other is listening. Bye-bye-bye...
The turkey woke up, as usual, earlier than the others, when it was still dark, woke up his wife and said:
- After all, I’m smarter than everyone else? Yes?
The turkey coughed for a long time, half asleep, and then answered:
- Oh, so smart... Cough, cough!.. Who doesn’t know that? Cough...
- No, tell me straight: smarter than everyone else? There are simply enough smart birds, and the smartest one is me.
- Smarter than everyone else... cough! Smarter than everyone... Cough-cough-cough!..
The turkey even got a little angry and added in such a tone that the other birds could hear:
- You know, it seems to me that I have little respect. Yes, quite a bit.
- No, it seems so to you... Cough-cough! - Turkey reassured him, starting to straighten the feathers that had gotten lost during the night. - Yes, it just seems... Birds couldn’t be smarter than you. Cough-cough-cough!
- And Gusak? Oh, I understand everything... Let’s say he doesn’t say anything directly, but mostly remains silent. But I feel that he silently does not respect me...
- Don’t pay any attention to him. It's not worth it... cough! Have you noticed that Gusak is stupid?
- Who doesn’t see this? It’s written all over his face: stupid gander, and nothing more. Yes... But Gusak is okay - is it possible to be angry with a stupid bird? But the Rooster, the simplest rooster... What did he cry about me the day before? And how he shouted, all the neighbors heard. He, it seems, even called me very stupid... Something like that in general.
“Oh, how strange you are,” the Turkey was surprised. “Don’t you know why he even screams?”
- Well, why?
- Cough-cough-cough... It’s very simple, and everyone knows it. You are a rooster, and he is a rooster, only he is a very, very simple rooster, a very ordinary rooster, and you are a real Indian overseas rooster - so he screams with envy. Every bird wants to be an Indian rooster... Cough-cough-cough!..
- Well, it’s difficult, mother... Ha ha! Look what you want. Some simple cockerel - and suddenly wants to become an Indian - no, brother, you're being naughty!.. He will never be an Indian.
The Turkey was such a modest and kind bird and was constantly upset that the Turkey was always quarreling with someone. And today, he hasn’t had time to wake up, and he’s already thinking of someone to start a quarrel with or even a fight with. Generally the most restless bird, although not evil. The Turkey felt a little offended when other birds began to laugh at the Turkey and called him a chatterbox, a blabbermouth and a breaker. Let's say they were partly right, but find a bird without flaws? That's exactly what it is! There are no such birds, and it’s even somehow more pleasant when you find even the smallest flaw in another bird.
The awakened birds poured out of the chicken coop into the yard and a desperate hubbub immediately arose. The chickens were especially noisy. They ran around the yard, climbed to the kitchen window and shouted furiously:
- Oh, where! Ah-where-where-where... We want to eat! The cook Matryona must have died and wants to starve us to death...
“Gentlemen, have patience,” observed Gusak, who was standing on one leg. - Look at me: I’m also hungry, and I’m not screaming like you. If I screamed at the top of my lungs... like this... Go-go!.. Or like this: E-go-go-go!!
The gander cackled so desperately that the cook Matryona immediately woke up.
“It’s good for him to talk about patience,” one Duck grumbled, “that throat is like a pipe.” And then, if I had such a long neck and such a strong beak, then I, too, would preach patience. She herself would be more likely to be full, and would advise others to be patient... We know this goose's patience...
The Rooster supported the duck and shouted:
- Yes, it’s good for Gusak to talk about patience... And who pulled the two best feathers out of my tail yesterday? It’s even ignoble to grab right by the tail. Let’s say we quarreled a little and I wanted to peck Gusak’s head - I won’t deny it, that was my intention - but it’s me, not my tail, who is to blame. Is that what I say, gentlemen?
Hungry birds, like hungry people, were made unjust precisely because they were hungry.
Out of pride, the turkey never rushed with others to feed, but patiently waited for Matryona to drive away the other greedy bird and call him. It was the same now. The turkey walked to the side, near the fence, and pretended to be looking for something among various rubbish.
- Cough, cough... oh, how I want to eat! - the Turkey complained, walking behind her husband. - Matryona threw away the oats... yes... and, it seems, the remains of yesterday's porridge... cough-cough! Oh, how I love porridge!.. It seems that I would always eat one porridge, my whole life. I even sometimes see her in my dreams at night...
The Turkey loved to complain when she was hungry, and demanded that the Turkey certainly feel sorry for her. Among the other birds, she looked like an old woman: she was always hunched over, coughing, and walked with a kind of broken gait, as if her legs had been attached to her only yesterday.
“Yes, it’s good to eat porridge,” Turkey agreed with her. “But a smart bird never rushes for food. Is that what I say? If my owner doesn’t feed me, I’ll die of hunger...right? Where will he find another turkey like this?
- There is no other place like it...
- That's it... And the porridge, in essence, is nothing. Yes... It's not about the porridge, but about Matryona. Is that what I say? If Matryona were there, there would be porridge. Everything in the world depends on Matryona alone - oats, porridge, cereals, and crusts of bread.
Despite all these reasonings, Turkey began to experience pangs of hunger. Then he became completely sad when all the other birds had eaten their fill, and Matryona did not come out to call him. What if she forgot about him? After all, this is a completely nasty thing...
But then something happened that made Turkey forget even about his own hunger. It started when one young hen, walking near the barn, suddenly shouted:
- Oh, where!..
All the other hens immediately picked it up and screamed with good obscenities: “Oh, where! where, where..." And of course, the Rooster roared louder than everyone else:
- Guard!.. Who's there?
The birds that came running to hear the cry saw a completely unusual thing. Right next to the barn, in a hole lay something gray, round, covered entirely with sharp needles.
“Yes, it’s a simple stone,” someone remarked.
“He was moving,” explained the Chicken. “I also thought it was a stone, I approached, and then it moved... Really!” It seemed to me that he had eyes, but stones do not have eyes.
“You never know what might seem out of fear to a stupid chicken,” said the Turkey. - Maybe it's... it's...
- Yes, it's a mushroom! - Gusak shouted. “I’ve seen exactly these mushrooms, only without needles.”
Everyone laughed loudly at Gusak.
“It looks more like a hat,” someone tried to guess, and was also ridiculed.
- Does a hat have eyes, gentlemen?
“There’s no need to talk in vain, but we need to act,” the Rooster decided for everyone. - Hey you, thing with needles, tell me, what kind of animal is it? I don’t like to joke... do you hear?
Since there was no answer, the Rooster considered himself insulted and rushed at the unknown offender. He tried to peck twice and stepped aside in embarrassment.
“It’s... it’s a huge burdock cone and nothing more,” he explained. - There’s nothing tasty... Would anyone like to try it?
Everyone was chatting whatever came to mind. There was no end to guesswork and speculation. Only Turkey was silent. Well, let others chat, and he will listen to other people's nonsense. The birds chattered, screamed and argued for a long time until someone shouted:
- Gentlemen, why are we racking our brains in vain when we have Turkey? He knows everything...
“Of course, I know,” responded the Turkey, spreading his tail and puffing out his red gut on his nose.
- And if you know, then tell us.
- What if I don’t want to? I just don't want to.
Everyone began to beg Turkey.
- After all, you are our smartest bird, Turkey! Well, tell me, my dear... What should I say to you?
The turkey struggled for a long time and finally said:
- Well, okay, I guess I’ll say... yes, I’ll say it. Just first tell me who you think I am?
“Who doesn’t know that you are the smartest bird!” everyone answered in unison. “That’s what they say: smart as a turkey.”
- So you respect me?
- We respect you! We respect everyone!..
The turkey broke down a little more, then it fluffed up all over, inflated its intestines, walked around the tricky animal three times and said:
- This is... yes... Do you want to know what it is?
- We want!.. Please don’t be tormented, but tell me quickly.
- This is someone crawling somewhere...
Everyone was just about to laugh when giggling was heard, and a thin voice said:
- So the smartest bird!.., hee hee... A black muzzle with two black eyes appeared from under the needles, sniffed the air and said:
- Hello, gentlemen... How come you didn’t recognize this Hedgehog, the little gray little Hedgehog?.. Oh, what a funny Turkey you have, excuse me, what is he like... How can I say this more politely? Well, stupid Turkey...
Everyone even became scared after such an insult as the Hedgehog inflicted on the Turkey. Of course, Turkey said something stupid, that’s true, but it doesn’t follow from this that Hedgehog has the right to insult him. Finally, it is simply impolite to come to someone else's house and insult the owner. Whatever you want, the Turkey is still an important, representative bird and certainly no match for some unfortunate Hedgehog.
Everyone somehow went over to Turkey’s side, and a terrible uproar arose.
— Hedgehog probably thinks we’re all stupid too! - shouted the Rooster, flapping his wings.
- He insulted us all!..
“If anyone is stupid, it’s him, that is, Hedgehog,” declared Gusak, craning his neck. - I noticed it right away... yes!..
-Can mushrooms be stupid? - answered the Hedgehog.
“Gentlemen, there’s no point in talking to him!” - the Rooster shouted. - He won’t understand anything anyway... It seems to me that we are just wasting our time. Yes... If, for example, you, Goose, grab his bristles with your strong beak on one side, and Turkey and I grab his bristles on the other, now it will be clear who is smarter. After all, you can’t hide your intelligence under stupid stubble...
“Well, I agree...” said Gusak. - It will be even better if I grab his stubble from behind, and you, Rooster, will peck him right in the face... Right, gentlemen? Who is smarter will now be seen.
The turkey was silent the whole time. At first he was stunned by the Hedgehog's audacity, and he could not find what to answer. Then Turkey got angry, so angry that even he himself became a little scared. He wanted to rush at the brute and tear him into small pieces so that everyone could see it and be convinced once again how serious and stern the Turkey bird is. He even took a few steps towards the Hedgehog, sulked terribly and was just about to rush when everyone started shouting and scolding the Hedgehog. The turkey stopped and patiently began to wait for how it would all end.
When the Rooster offered to drag the Hedgehog by the stubble into different sides, The turkey stopped his zeal:
- Allow me, gentlemen... Maybe we can settle this whole matter peacefully... Yes. It seems to me that there is a slight misunderstanding here. Leave it to me, gentlemen, the whole matter...
“Okay, we’ll wait,” the Rooster reluctantly agreed, wanting to fight with the Hedgehog as quickly as possible. “But nothing will come of this anyway...
“But that’s my business,” the Turkey answered calmly. - Yes, listen to how I talk.
Everyone crowded around the Hedgehog and began to wait. The turkey walked around him, cleared his throat and said:
- Listen, Mr. Hedgehog... Explain yourself seriously. I don't like troubles at home at all.
“God, how smart he is, how smart!..” thought Turkey, listening to her husband in silent delight.
“First of all, pay attention to the fact that you are in a decent and well-mannered society,” continued the Turkey. - Does this mean something... yes... Many consider it an honor to come to our yard, but - alas! - rarely does anyone succeed.
- But this is so, between us, and the main thing is not this...
The turkey stopped, paused for importance and then continued:
- Yes, that’s the main thing... Did you really think that we have no idea about hedgehogs? I have no doubt that the Gusak, who mistook you for a mushroom, was joking, and the Rooster too, and the others... Isn’t that right, gentlemen?
- Quite rightly, Turkey! - everyone shouted at once so loudly that the Hedgehog hid his black muzzle.
“Oh, how smart he is!” - thought Turkey, who was beginning to guess what was going on.
“As you can see, Mr. Hedgehog, we all love to joke,” continued Turkey. - I'm not talking about myself... yes. Why not joke? And, it seems to me, you, Mr. Hedgehog, also have a cheerful character...
“Oh, you guessed it,” admitted the Hedgehog, again sticking out his muzzle. “I have such a cheerful character that I can’t even sleep at night... Many people can’t stand it, but I find it boring to sleep.”
- Well, you see... You will probably agree in character with our Rooster, who bawls like crazy at night.
Everyone suddenly felt cheerful, as if the only thing everyone needed to complete their life was the Hedgehog. The Turkey was triumphant that he had so cleverly gotten out of an awkward situation when the Hedgehog called him stupid and laughed right in his face.
“By the way, Mr. Hedgehog, admit it,” said Turkey, winking, “after all, of course, you were joking when you called me just now... yes... well, stupid bird?
- Of course I was joking! - Hedgehog assured. - I have such a cheerful character!..
- Yes, yes, I was sure of it. Did you hear, gentlemen? - Turkey asked everyone.
- We heard... Who could doubt it!
The Turkey leaned close to the Hedgehog’s ear and whispered to him in confidence:
- So be it, I’ll tell you a terrible secret... yes... Only one condition: don’t tell anyone. True, I’m a little ashamed to talk about myself, but what can you do if I’m the smartest bird! Sometimes this even embarrasses me a little, but you can’t hide a sewing in a bag... Please, just don’t say a word about this to anyone!..
The turkey woke up, as usual, earlier than the others, when it was still dark, woke up his wife and said:
- After all, I’m smarter than everyone else? Yes?
The turkey coughed for a long time, half asleep, and then answered:
- Oh, so smart... Cough, cough!.. Who doesn’t know that? Cough...
- No, tell me straight: smarter than everyone else? There are simply enough smart birds, and the smartest one is me.
- Smarter than everyone else... cough! Smarter than everyone... Cough-cough-cough!..
The turkey even got a little angry and added in such a tone that the other birds could hear:
- You know, it seems to me that I have little respect. Yes, quite a bit.
- No, it seems so to you... Cough-cough! - Turkey reassured him, starting to straighten the feathers that had become tangled during the night. - Yes, it just seems... Birds couldn’t be smarter than you. Cough-cough-cough!
- And Gusak? Oh, I understand everything... Let’s say he doesn’t say anything directly, but mostly remains silent. But I feel that he silently does not respect me...
- Don’t pay any attention to him. It's not worth it... cough! Have you noticed that Gusak is stupid?
- Who doesn’t see this? It’s written all over his face: stupid gander, and nothing more. Yes... But Gusak is okay - is it possible to be angry with a stupid bird? But the Rooster, the simplest rooster... What did he cry about me the day before? And as he shouted, all the neighbors heard. He, it seems, even called me very stupid... Something like that in general.
- Oh, how strange you are! - Turkey was surprised. “Don’t you know why he even screams?”
- Well, why?
- Cough-cough-cough... It’s very simple, and everyone knows it. You are a rooster, and he is a rooster, only he is a very, very simple rooster, a very ordinary rooster, and you are a real Indian, overseas rooster - so he screams with envy. Every bird wants to be an Indian rooster... Cough-cough-cough!..
- Well, it’s difficult, mother... Ha ha! Look what you want! Some simple cockerel - and suddenly wants to become an Indian - no, brother, you're being naughty!.. He will never be an Indian.
The Turkey was such a modest and kind bird and was constantly upset that the Turkey was always quarreling with someone. And today, he hasn’t even had time to wake up, and he’s already thinking of someone to start a quarrel with or even a fight with. Generally the most restless bird, although not evil. The Turkey felt a little offended when other birds began to laugh at the Turkey and called him a chatterbox, a blabbermouth and a breaker. Let's say they were partly right, but find a bird without flaws? That's exactly what it is! There are no such birds, and it’s even somehow more pleasant when you find even the smallest flaw in another bird.
The awakened birds poured out of the chicken coop into the yard, and a desperate hubbub immediately arose. The chickens were especially noisy. They ran around the yard, climbed to the kitchen window and shouted furiously:
- Oh, where! Ah-where-where-where... We want to eat! The cook Matryona must have died and wants to starve us to death...
“Gentlemen, have patience,” observed Gusak, who was standing on one leg. - Look at me: I’m also hungry, and I’m not screaming like you. If I screamed at the top of my lungs... like this... Go-go!.. Or like this: e-go-go-go!!.
The gander cackled so desperately that the cook Matryona immediately woke up.
“It’s good for him to talk about patience,” one Duck grumbled, “that throat is like a pipe.” And then, if I had such a long neck and such a strong beak, then I, too, would preach patience. She herself would be more likely to be full, and would advise others to be patient... We know this goose's patience...
The Rooster supported the duck and shouted:
- Yes, it’s good for Gusak to talk about patience... And who pulled the two best feathers out of my tail yesterday? It’s even ignoble to grab right by the tail. Let’s say we quarreled a little, and I wanted to peck Gusak’s head—I won’t deny it, that was my intention—but it’s my fault, not my tail. Is that what I say, gentlemen?
Hungry birds, like hungry people, were made unjust precisely because they were hungry.
Out of pride, the turkey never rushed with others to feed, but patiently waited for Matryona to drive away the other greedy bird and call him. It was the same now. The turkey walked to the side, near the fence, and pretended to be looking for something among various rubbish.
- Cough, cough... oh, how I want to eat! - the Turkey complained, walking behind her husband. - Matryona threw away the oats... yes... and, it seems, the remains of yesterday's porridge... cough-cough! Oh, how I love porridge!.. It seems that I would always eat one porridge, my whole life. I even sometimes see her in my dreams at night...
The Turkey loved to complain when she was hungry, and demanded that the Turkey certainly feel sorry for her. Among the other birds, she looked like an old woman: she was always hunched over, coughing, and walked with a kind of broken gait, as if her legs had been attached to her only yesterday.
“Yes, it’s good to eat porridge,” Turkey agreed with her. “But a smart bird never rushes for food. Is that what I say? If my owner doesn't feed me, I'll die of hunger...right? Where will he find another turkey like this?
- There is no other place like it...
- That's it... And the porridge, in essence, is nothing. Yes... It's not about the porridge, but about Matryona. Is that what I say? If Matryona were there, there would be porridge. Everything in the world depends on Matryona alone - oats, porridge, cereals, and crusts of bread.
Despite all these reasonings, Turkey began to experience pangs of hunger. Then he became completely sad when all the other birds had eaten their fill, and Matryona did not come out to call him. What if she forgot about him? After all, this is a completely nasty thing...
But then something happened that made Turkey forget even about his own hunger. It started when one young hen, walking near the barn, suddenly shouted:
- Oh, where!..
All the other hens immediately picked it up and screamed with good obscenities: “Oh, where! Where, where...” And of course, the Rooster shouted louder than all of them:
- Carraul!.. Who's there?
The birds that came running to hear the cry saw a completely unusual thing. Right next to the barn, in a hole lay something gray, round, covered entirely with sharp needles.
“Yes, it’s a simple stone,” someone remarked.
“He was moving,” explained the Chicken. “I also thought it was a stone, I approached, and then it moved... Really!” It seemed to me that he had eyes, but stones do not have eyes.
“You never know what might seem out of fear to a stupid chicken,” said the Turkey. - Maybe it's... it's...
- Yes, it's a mushroom! - Gusak shouted. “I’ve seen mushrooms exactly like these, only without needles.”
Everyone laughed loudly at Gusak.
“It looks more like a hat,” someone tried to guess and was also ridiculed.
- Does a hat have eyes, gentlemen?
“There’s no need to talk in vain, but we need to act,” the Rooster decided for everyone. - Hey you, thing with needles, tell me, what kind of animal is it? I don’t like to joke... do you hear?
Since there was no answer, the Rooster considered himself insulted and rushed at the unknown offender. He tried to peck twice and stepped aside in embarrassment.
“It’s... it’s a huge burdock cone, and nothing more,” he explained. - There’s nothing tasty... Would anyone like to try it?
Everyone was chatting, whatever came to mind. There was no end to guesswork and speculation. Only Turkey was silent. Well, let others chat, and he will listen to other people's nonsense. The birds chattered, screamed and argued for a long time until someone shouted:
- Gentlemen, why are we racking our brains in vain when we have Turkey? He knows everything...
“Of course, I know,” responded the Turkey, spreading his tail and puffing out his red gut on his nose.
- And if you know, then tell us.
- What if I don’t want to? Yeah, I just don't want to.
Everyone began to beg Turkey.
- After all, you are our smartest bird, Turkey! Well, tell me, my dear... What should I say to you?
The turkey struggled for a long time and finally said:
- Well, okay, I guess I’ll say... yes, I’ll say it. Just first tell me who you think I am?
“Who doesn’t know that you are the smartest bird!” everyone answered in unison. “That’s what they say: smart as a turkey.”
- So you respect me?
- We respect you! We respect everyone!..
The turkey broke down a little more, then it fluffed up all over, inflated its intestines, walked around the tricky animal three times and said:
- This is... yes... Do you want to know what it is?
- We want!.. Please don’t be tormented, but tell me quickly.
- This is someone crawling somewhere...
Everyone was just about to laugh when giggling was heard, and a thin voice said:
- That's the smartest bird!.. hee hee...
A black muzzle with two black eyes appeared from under the needles, sniffed the air and said:
- Hello, gentlemen... How come you didn’t recognize this Hedgehog, the little gray little Hedgehog?.. Oh, what a funny Turkey you have, excuse me, what is he like... How can I say this more politely?.. Well, stupid Turkey...
Everyone even became scared after such an insult as the Hedgehog inflicted on the Turkey. Of course, the Turkey said something stupid, that’s true, but it doesn’t follow from this that the Hedgehog has the right to insult him. Finally, it is simply impolite to come to someone else's house and insult the owner. Whatever you want, the Turkey is still an important, representative bird and certainly no match for some unfortunate Hedgehog.
Everyone somehow went over to Turkey’s side, and a terrible uproar arose.
— Hedgehog probably thinks we’re all stupid too! - shouted the Rooster, flapping his wings
- He insulted us all!..
“If anyone is stupid, it’s him, that is, the Hedgehog,” declared Gusak, craning his neck. - I noticed it right away... yes!..
-Can mushrooms be stupid? - answered the Hedgehog.
“Gentlemen, there’s no point in talking to him!” - the Rooster shouted. - He won’t understand anything anyway... It seems to me that we are just wasting our time. Yes... If, for example, you, Goose, grab his bristles with your strong beak on one side, and Turkey and I grab his bristles on the other, now it will be clear who is smarter. After all, you can’t hide your intelligence under stupid stubble...
“Well, I agree...” said Gusak. - It will be even better if I grab his stubble from behind, and you, Rooster, will peck him right in the face... Right, gentlemen? Who is smarter will now be seen.
The turkey was silent the whole time. At first he was stunned by the Hedgehog's audacity, and he could not find what to answer. Then Turkey got angry, so angry that even he himself became a little scared. He wanted to rush at the brute and tear him into small pieces so that everyone could see it and be convinced once again how serious and stern the Turkey bird is. He even took a few steps towards the Hedgehog, sulked terribly and was just about to rush when everyone started shouting and scolding the Hedgehog. The turkey stopped and patiently began to wait for how it would all end.
When the Rooster offered to drag the Hedgehog by the bristles in different directions, the Turkey stopped his zeal:
- Allow me, gentlemen... Maybe we can settle this whole matter peacefully... Yes. It seems to me that there is a slight misunderstanding here. Leave it to me, gentlemen, the whole matter...
“Okay, we’ll wait,” the Rooster reluctantly agreed, wanting to fight with the Hedgehog as quickly as possible. “But nothing will come of this anyway...
“But that’s my business,” the Turkey answered calmly. - Yes, listen to how I talk...
Everyone crowded around the Hedgehog and began to wait. The turkey walked around him, cleared his throat and said:
- Listen, Mr. Hedgehog... Explain yourself seriously. I don't like troubles at home at all.
“God, how smart he is, how smart!..” thought Turkey, listening to her husband in silent delight.
“First of all, pay attention to the fact that you are in a decent and well-mannered society,” continued the Turkey. - Does this mean something... yes... Many consider it an honor to come to our yard, but - alas! - rarely does anyone succeed.
- But this is so, between us, and the main thing is not this...
The turkey stopped, paused for importance and then continued:
- Yes, that’s the main thing... Did you really think that we have no idea about hedgehogs? I have no doubt that the Gusak, who mistook you for a mushroom, was joking, and the Rooster too, and the others... Isn’t that true, gentlemen?
- Quite rightly, Turkey! - everyone shouted at once so loudly that the Hedgehog hid his black muzzle.
“Oh, how smart he is!” - thought Turkey, who was beginning to guess what was going on.
“As you can see, Mr. Hedgehog, we all love to joke,” continued the Turkey. - I'm not talking about myself... yes. Why not joke? And, it seems to me, you, Mr. Hedgehog, also have a cheerful character...
“Oh, you guessed it,” admitted the Hedgehog, sticking out his muzzle again. “I have such a cheerful character that I can’t even sleep at night... Many people can’t stand it, but I find it boring to sleep.”
- Well, you see... You will probably agree in character with our Rooster, who bawls like crazy at night.
Everyone suddenly felt cheerful, as if the only thing everyone needed to complete their life was the Hedgehog. The Turkey was triumphant that he had so cleverly gotten out of an awkward situation when the Hedgehog called him stupid and laughed right in his face.
“By the way, Mr. Hedgehog, admit it,” said the Turkey, winking, “you were, of course, joking when you called me just now... yes... well, a stupid bird?”
- Of course I was joking! - assured the Hedgehog. - I have such a cheerful character!..
- Yes, yes, I was sure of it. Did you hear, gentlemen? - Turkey asked everyone.
- We heard... Who could doubt it!
The Turkey leaned close to the Hedgehog’s ear and whispered to him in confidence:
- So be it, I’ll tell you a terrible secret... yes... Just one condition: don’t tell anyone. True, I’m a little ashamed to talk about myself, but what can you do if I’m the smartest bird! Sometimes this even embarrasses me a little, but you can’t hide a sewing in a bag... Please, just don’t say a word about this to anyone!..
Mamin-Sibiryak
The turkey woke up, as usual, earlier than the others, when it was still dark, woke up his wife and said:
Am I smarter than everyone else? Yes?
The turkey coughed for a long time, half asleep, and then answered:
Oh, so smart... Cough, cough!.. Who doesn't know that? Cough...
No, tell me straight: smarter than everyone else? There are simply enough smart birds, but the smartest one is me.
Smarter than everyone... cough! Smarter than everyone... Cough-cough-cough!..
The turkey even got a little angry and added in such a tone that the other birds could hear:
You know, it seems to me that I have little respect. Yes, quite a bit.
No, it seems so to you... Cough, cough! - Turkey calmed him down, starting to straighten the feathers that had gotten lost during the night. - Yes, it just seems... Birds couldn’t be smarter than you. Cough-cough-cough!
And Gusak? Oh, I understand everything... Let’s say he doesn’t say anything directly, but mostly remains silent. But I feel that he silently does not respect me...
Don't pay any attention to him. It's not worth it... cough! Have you noticed that Gusak is stupid?
Who doesn't see this? It’s written all over his face: stupid gander, and nothing more. Yes... But Gusak is okay - is it possible to be angry with a stupid bird? But the Rooster, the simplest rooster... What did he cry about me the day before? And how he shouted - all the neighbors heard. He, it seems, even called me very stupid... Something like that in general.
Oh, how strange you are! - Turkey was surprised. “Don’t you know why he even screams?”
Well, why?
Cough-cough-cough... It’s very simple, and everyone knows it. You are a rooster, and he is a rooster, only he is a very, very simple rooster, a very ordinary rooster, and you are a real Indian, overseas rooster - so he screams with envy. Every bird wants to be an Indian rooster... Cough-cough-cough!..
Well, it’s difficult, mother... Ha-ha! Look what you want! Some simple cockerel - and suddenly wants to become an Indian - no, brother, you're being naughty!.. He will never be an Indian.
The Turkey was such a modest and kind bird and was constantly upset that the Turkey was always quarreling with someone. And today, he hasn’t had time to wake up, and he’s already thinking of someone to start a quarrel with or even a fight with. Generally the most restless bird, although not evil. The Turkey felt a little offended when other birds began to laugh at the Turkey and called him a chatterbox, a blabbermouth and a breaker. Let's say they were partly right, but find a bird without flaws? That's exactly what it is! There are no such birds, and it’s even somehow more pleasant when you find even the smallest flaw in another bird.
The awakened birds poured out of the chicken coop into the yard, and a desperate hubbub immediately arose. The chickens were especially noisy. They ran around the yard, climbed to the kitchen window and shouted furiously:
Oh-where! Ah-where-where-where... We want to eat! The cook Matryona must have died and wants to starve us to death...
“Gentlemen, have patience,” noted Gusak, who was standing on one leg. - Look at me: I’m also hungry, and I’m not screaming like you. If I screamed at the top of my lungs... like this... Go-go!.. Or like this: e-go-go-go!!.
The gander cackled so desperately that the cook Matryona immediately woke up.
It’s good for him to talk about patience,” one Duck grumbled, “that throat is like a pipe.” And then, if I had such a long neck and such a strong beak, then I, too, would preach patience. She herself would be more likely to be full, and would advise others to be patient... We know this goose's patience...
The Rooster supported the duck and shouted:
Yes, it’s good for Gusak to talk about patience... And who pulled the two best feathers out of my tail yesterday? It’s even ignoble to grab it right by the tail. Let’s say we quarreled a little, and I wanted to peck Gusak’s head - I won’t deny it, that was my intention - but it’s my fault, not my tail. Is that what I say, gentlemen?
Hungry birds, like hungry people, were made unjust precisely because they were hungry.
Out of pride, the turkey never rushed with others to feed, but patiently waited for Matryona to drive away the other greedy bird and call him. It was the same now. The turkey walked to the side, near the fence, and pretended to be looking for something among various rubbish.
Cough cough... oh, how I want to eat! - the Turkey complained, walking behind her husband. - Matryona threw away the oats... yes... and, it seems, the remains of yesterday's porridge... cough-cough! Oh, how I love porridge!.. It seems that I would always eat one porridge, my whole life. I even sometimes see her in my dreams at night...
The Turkey loved to complain when she was hungry, and demanded that the Turkey certainly feel sorry for her. Among the other birds, she looked like an old woman: she was always hunched over, coughing, and walked with a kind of broken gait, as if her legs had been attached to her only yesterday.
Yes, it’s good to eat porridge too,” Turkey agreed with her. - But a smart bird never rushes to food. Is that what I say? If my owner doesn't feed me, I'll die of hunger...right? Where will he find another turkey like this?
There is nothing else like it anywhere...
That's just it... And the porridge, in essence, is nothing. Yes... It's not about the porridge, but about Matryona. Is that what I say? If Matryona were there, there would be porridge. Everything in the world depends on Matryona alone - oats, porridge, cereals, and crusts of bread.
Despite all these reasonings, Turkey began to experience pangs of hunger. Then he became completely sad when all the other birds had eaten their fill, and Matryona did not come out to call him. What if she forgot about him? After all, this is a completely nasty thing...
But then something happened that made Turkey forget even about his own hunger. It started when one young hen, walking near the barn, suddenly shouted:
Oh-where!..
All the other hens immediately picked it up and screamed with good obscenities: “Oh, where! Where, where...” And of course, the Rooster shouted louder than all of them:
Karraul!.. Who's there?
The birds that came running to hear the cry saw a completely unusual thing. Right next to the barn, in a hole lay something gray, round, covered entirely with sharp needles.
“Yes, it’s a simple stone,” someone remarked.
“He was moving,” explained the Chicken. - I also thought it was a stone, I approached, and then it moved... Really! It seemed to me that he had eyes, but stones do not have eyes.
You never know what a stupid chicken might think out of fear,” said Turkey. - Maybe it's... it's...
Yes, it's a mushroom! - Gusak shouted. - I saw exactly these mushrooms, only without needles.
Everyone laughed loudly at Gusak.
“It looks more like a hat,” someone tried to guess and was also ridiculed.
Does a hat have eyes, gentlemen?
There’s no need to talk in vain, but we need to act,” the Rooster decided for everyone. - Hey you, thing with needles, tell me, what kind of animal is it? I don’t like to joke... do you hear?
Since there was no answer, the Rooster considered himself insulted and rushed at the unknown offender. He tried to peck twice and stepped aside in embarrassment.
“It’s... it’s a huge burdock bump, and nothing more,” he explained. - There’s nothing tasty... Would anyone like to try it?
Everyone was chatting, whatever came to mind. There was no end to guesswork and speculation. Only Turkey was silent. Well, let others chat, and he will listen to other people's nonsense. The birds chattered, screamed and argued for a long time until someone shouted:
Gentlemen, why are we racking our brains in vain when we have Turkey? He knows everything...
Of course, I know,” responded the Turkey, spreading his tail and puffing out his red gut on his nose.
And if you know, then tell us.
What if I don't want to? Yeah, I just don't want to.
Everyone began to beg Turkey.
After all, you are our smartest bird, Turkey! Well, tell me, my dear... What should I say to you?
The turkey struggled for a long time and finally said:
Well, okay, I guess I'll say... yes, I'll say it. Just first tell me who you think I am?
Who doesn’t know that you are the smartest bird!.. - everyone answered in unison. - That's what they say: smart as a turkey.
So you respect me?
We respect you! We respect everyone!..
The turkey broke down a little more, then it fluffed up all over, inflated its intestines, walked around the tricky animal three times and said:
It's... yes... Do you want to know what it is?
We want!.. Please don’t be tormented, but tell me soon.
This is someone crawling somewhere...
Everyone was just about to laugh when giggling was heard, and a thin voice said:
That's the smartest bird!.. hee hee...
A black muzzle with two black eyes appeared from under the needles, sniffed the air and said:
Hello, gentlemen... How come you didn’t recognize this Hedgehog, the little gray little Hedgehog?.. Oh, what a funny Turkey you have, excuse me, what kind of guy is he... How can I put it more politely?.. Well, stupid Turkey...
Everyone even became scared after such an insult as the Hedgehog inflicted on the Turkey. Of course, the Turkey said something stupid, that’s true, but it doesn’t follow from this that the Hedgehog has the right to insult him. Finally, it is simply impolite to come to someone else's house and insult the owner. Whatever you want, the Turkey is still an important, representative bird and certainly no match for some unfortunate Hedgehog.
Everyone somehow went over to Turkey’s side, and a terrible uproar arose.
Hedgehog probably thinks we are all stupid too! - shouted the Rooster, flapping his wings
He insulted us all!..
If anyone is stupid, it’s him, that is, the Hedgehog,” declared Gusak, craning his neck. - I noticed it right away... yes!..
Can mushrooms be stupid? - answered the Hedgehog.
Gentlemen, we are talking to him in vain! - the Rooster shouted. - He won’t understand anything anyway... It seems to me that we are just wasting our time. Yes... If, for example, you, Gander, grab his bristles with your strong beak on one side, and Turkey and I grab his bristles on the other, now it will be clear who is smarter. After all, you can’t hide your intelligence under stupid stubble...
Well, I agree...” said Gusak. - It will be even better if I grab his stubble from behind, and you, Rooster, will peck him right in the face... Right, gentlemen? Who is smarter will now be seen.
The turkey was silent the whole time. At first he was stunned by the Hedgehog's audacity, and he could not find what to answer. Then Turkey got angry, so angry that even he himself became a little scared. He wanted to rush at the brute and tear him into small pieces so that everyone could see it and be convinced once again how serious and stern the Turkey bird is. He even took a few steps towards the Hedgehog, sulked terribly and was just about to rush when everyone started shouting and scolding the Hedgehog. The turkey stopped and patiently began to wait for how it would all end.
When the Rooster offered to drag the Hedgehog by the bristles in different directions, the Turkey stopped his zeal:
Allow me, gentlemen... Maybe we can settle this whole matter peacefully... Yes. It seems to me that there is a slight misunderstanding here. Leave it to me, gentlemen, the whole matter...
“Okay, we’ll wait,” the Rooster reluctantly agreed, wanting to fight with the Hedgehog as quickly as possible. - But nothing will come of this anyway...
“And that’s my business,” the Turkey answered calmly. - Yes, listen to how I talk...
Everyone crowded around the Hedgehog and began to wait. The turkey walked around him, cleared his throat and said:
Listen, Mr. Hedgehog... Explain yourself seriously. I don't like troubles at home at all.
“God, how smart he is, how smart!..” thought Turkey, listening to her husband in silent delight.
Pay attention, first of all, to the fact that you are in a decent and well-mannered society,” Turkey continued. - Does this mean something... yes... Many consider it an honor to come to our yard, but - alas! - rarely does anyone succeed.
But this is so, between us, and this is not the main thing...
The turkey stopped, paused for importance and then continued:
Yes, that’s the main thing... Did you really think that we have no idea about hedgehogs? I have no doubt that the Gusak, who mistook you for a mushroom, was joking, and the Rooster too, and the others... Isn’t that true, gentlemen?
Quite right, Turkey! - everyone shouted at once so loudly that the Hedgehog hid his black muzzle.
"Oh, how smart he is!" - thought Turkey, who was beginning to guess what was going on.
As you can see, Mr. Hedgehog, we all love to joke,” continued the Turkey. - I'm not talking about myself... yes. Why not joke? And, it seems to me, you, Mr. Hedgehog, also have a cheerful character...
Oh, you guessed it right,” the Hedgehog admitted, sticking out his muzzle again. - I have such a cheerful character that I can’t even sleep at night... Many people can’t stand it, but I’m bored of sleeping.
Well, you see... You will probably agree in character with our Rooster, who bawls like crazy at night.
Everyone suddenly felt cheerful, as if the only thing everyone needed to complete their life was the Hedgehog. The Turkey was triumphant that he had so cleverly gotten out of an awkward situation when the Hedgehog called him stupid and laughed right in his face.
By the way, Mr. Hedgehog, admit it,” the Turkey spoke, winking, “after all, you were, of course, joking when you called me just now... yes... well, a stupid bird?”
Of course I was joking! - assured the Hedgehog. - I have such a cheerful character!..
Yes, yes, I was sure of it. Did you hear, gentlemen? - Turkey asked everyone.
We heard... Who could doubt it!
The Turkey leaned close to the Hedgehog’s ear and whispered to him in confidence:
So be it, I’ll tell you a terrible secret... yes... Just one condition: don’t tell anyone. True, I’m a little ashamed to talk about myself, but what can you do if I’m the smartest bird! Sometimes this even embarrasses me a little, but you can’t hide a sewing in a bag... Please, just don’t say a word about this to anyone!..
The turkey woke up, as usual, earlier than the others, when it was still dark, woke up his wife and said:
Am I smarter than everyone else? Yes?
The turkey coughed for a long time, half asleep, and then answered:
Oh, how smart. Cough cough! Who doesn't know this? Cough.
No, tell me straight: smarter than everyone else? There are simply enough smart birds, but the smartest one is me.
Smarter than everyone else. Cough. Smarter than everyone else. Cough-cough-cough!
The turkey even got a little angry and added in such a tone that the other birds could hear:
You know, it seems to me that I have little respect. Yes, quite a bit.
No, it seems that way to you. Cough cough! - Turkey calmed him down, starting to straighten the feathers that had gotten lost during the night. - Yes, it just seems. Birds couldn't be smarter than you. Cough-cough-cough!
And Gusak? Oh, I understand everything. Let's say he doesn't say anything directly, but mostly stays silent. But I feel that he silently does not respect me.
Don't pay any attention to him. Not worth it. Cough. Have you noticed that Gusak is stupid?
Who doesn't see this? It’s written all over his face: stupid gander, and nothing more. Yes. But Gusak is okay - how can you be angry with a stupid bird? But the Rooster, the simplest rooster. What did he shout about me the day before yesterday? And how he shouted - all the neighbors heard. It seems he even called me very stupid. Something like that in general.
Oh, how strange you are! - Turkey was surprised. “Don’t you know why he even screams?”
Well, why?
Cough cough cough. It’s very simple, and everyone knows it. You are a rooster, and he is a rooster, only he is a very, very simple rooster, a very ordinary rooster, and you are a real Indian, overseas rooster - so he screams with envy. Every bird wants to be an Indian rooster. Cough-cough-cough!
Well, it's not easy, mother. Ha ha! Look what you want! Some simple cockerel - and suddenly wants to become an Indian - no, brother, you're being naughty! He will never be an Indian.
The Turkey was such a modest and kind bird and was constantly upset that the Turkey was always quarreling with someone. And today, he hasn’t had time to wake up, and he’s already thinking of someone to start a quarrel with or even a fight with. Generally the most restless bird, although not evil. The Turkey felt a little offended when other birds began to laugh at the Turkey and called him a chatterbox, a blabbermouth and a breaker. Let's say they were partly right, but find a bird without flaws? That's exactly what it is! There are no such birds, and it’s even somehow more pleasant when you find even the smallest flaw in another bird.
The awakened birds poured out of the chicken coop into the yard, and a desperate hubbub immediately arose. The chickens were especially noisy. They ran around the yard, climbed to the kitchen window and shouted furiously:
Oh-where! Oh-where-where-where. We want to eat! The cook Matryona must have died and wants to starve us to death.
“Gentlemen, have patience,” noted Gusak, who was standing on one leg. - Look at me: I’m also hungry, and I’m not screaming like you. If I had screamed at the top of my lungs. Like this. Ho-ho! Or like this: go-go-go!
The gander cackled so desperately that the cook Matryona immediately woke up.
It’s good for him to talk about patience,” one Duck grumbled, “that throat is like a pipe.” And then, if I had such a long neck and such a strong beak, then I, too, would preach patience. I myself would have eaten more than anyone else, but I would have advised others to endure it. We know this goose patience.
The Rooster supported the duck and shouted:
Yes, it’s good for Gusak to talk about patience. And who pulled the two best feathers out of my tail yesterday? It’s even ignoble to grab it right by the tail. Let’s say we quarreled a little, and I wanted to peck Gusak’s head - I won’t deny it, that was my intention - but it’s my fault, not my tail. Is that what I say, gentlemen?
Hungry birds, like hungry people, were made unjust precisely because they were hungry.
Out of pride, the turkey never rushed with others to feed, but patiently waited for Matryona to drive away the other greedy bird and call him. It was the same now. The turkey walked to the side, near the fence, and pretended to be looking for something among various rubbish.
Cough cough. Oh, how I want to eat! - the Turkey complained, walking behind her husband. - Matryona threw away the oats. And, it seems, the remains of yesterday's porridge. Cough cough! Oh, how I love porridge! It seems like I would always eat one porridge for the rest of my life. I even sometimes see her in my dreams at night.
The Turkey loved to complain when she was hungry, and demanded that the Turkey certainly feel sorry for her. Among the other birds, she looked like an old woman: she was always hunched over, coughing, and walked with a kind of broken gait, as if her legs had been attached to her only yesterday.
Yes, it’s good to eat porridge too,” Turkey agreed with her. - But a smart bird never rushes to food. Is that what I say? If my owner doesn't feed me, I'll die of hunger. So? Where will he find another turkey like this?
There is no other place like it.
That's it. And the porridge is, in essence, nothing. Yes. It's not about the porridge, but about Matryona. Is that what I say? If Matryona were there, there would be porridge. Everything in the world depends on Matryona alone - oats, porridge, cereals, and crusts of bread.
Despite all these reasonings, Turkey began to experience pangs of hunger. Then he became completely sad when all the other birds had eaten their fill, and Matryona did not come out to call him. What if she forgot about him? After all, this is a completely nasty thing.
But then something happened that made Turkey forget even about his own hunger. It started when one young hen, walking near the barn, suddenly shouted:
Oh-where!
All the other hens immediately picked it up and screamed with good obscenities: Oh, where! where where. And of course, the Rooster roared the loudest:
Carraul! Who's there?
The birds that came running to hear the cry saw a completely unusual thing. Right next to the barn, in a hole lay something gray, round, covered entirely with sharp needles.
“Yes, it’s a simple stone,” someone remarked.
“He was moving,” explained the Chicken. “I also thought it was a stone, I walked up and saw how it moved.” Right! It seemed to me that he had eyes, but stones do not have eyes.
You never know what a stupid chicken might think out of fear,” said Turkey. - Maybe this. This.
Yes, it's a mushroom! - Gusak shouted. - I saw exactly these mushrooms, only without needles.
Everyone laughed loudly at Gusak.
“It looks more like a hat,” someone tried to guess and was also ridiculed.
Does a hat have eyes, gentlemen?
There’s no need to talk in vain, but we need to act,” the Rooster decided for everyone. - Hey you, thing with needles, tell me, what kind of animal is it? I don't like to joke. Do you hear?
Since there was no answer, the Rooster considered himself insulted and rushed at the unknown offender. He tried to peck twice and stepped aside in embarrassment.
This. “It’s a huge burdock cone, and nothing more,” he explained. - There is nothing tasty. Would anyone like to try it?
Everyone was chatting, whatever came to mind. There was no end to guesswork and speculation. Only Turkey was silent. Well, let others chat, and he will listen to other people's nonsense. The birds chattered, screamed and argued for a long time until someone shouted:
Gentlemen, why are we racking our brains in vain when we have Turkey? He knows everything.
Of course, I know,” responded the Turkey, spreading his tail and puffing out his red gut on his nose.
And if you know, then tell us.
What if I don't want to? Yeah, I just don't want to.
Everyone began to beg Turkey.
After all, you are our smartest bird, Turkey! Well, tell me, my dear. What should you say?
The turkey struggled for a long time and finally said:
Well, okay, I guess I'll say it. Yes, I'll tell you. Just first tell me who you think I am?
Who doesn’t know that you are the smartest bird! - everyone answered in unison. - That's what they say: smart as a turkey.
So you respect me?
We respect you! We respect everyone!
The turkey broke down a little more, then it fluffed up all over, inflated its intestines, walked around the tricky animal three times and said:
This. Yes. Want to know what it is?
We want! Please don’t be tormented, but tell me soon.
This is someone crawling somewhere.
Everyone was just about to laugh when giggling was heard, and a thin voice said:
That's the smartest bird! Hee hee.
A black muzzle with two black eyes appeared from under the needles, sniffed the air and said:
Hello, gentlemen. How come you didn’t recognize the Hedgehog, the little gray little Hedgehog? Oh, what a funny Turkey you have, excuse me, what he is like. What's the politest way to say this? Well, stupid Turkey.
Everyone even became scared after such an insult as the Hedgehog inflicted on the Turkey. Of course, the Turkey said something stupid, that’s true, but it doesn’t follow from this that the Hedgehog has the right to insult him. Finally, it is simply impolite to come to someone else's house and insult the owner. Whatever you want, the Turkey is still an important, representative bird and certainly no match for some unfortunate Hedgehog.
Everyone somehow went over to Turkey’s side, and a terrible uproar arose.
Hedgehog probably thinks we are all stupid too! - shouted the Rooster, flapping his wings.
He insulted us all!
If anyone is stupid, it’s him, that is, the Hedgehog,” declared Gusak, craning his neck. - I noticed it immediately. Yes!
Can mushrooms be stupid? - answered the Hedgehog.
Gentlemen, we are talking to him in vain! - the Rooster shouted. - He won’t understand anything anyway. It seems to me that we are just wasting our time. Yes. If, for example, you, Goose, grab his bristles with your strong beak on one side, and Turkey and I grab his bristles on the other, now it will be clear who is smarter. After all, you can’t hide your intelligence under stupid stubble.
Well, I agree,” said Gusak. - It will be even better if I grab his stubble from behind, and you, Rooster, will peck him right in the face. So, gentlemen? Who is smarter will now be seen.
The turkey was silent the whole time. At first he was stunned by the Hedgehog's audacity, and he could not find what to answer. Then Turkey got angry, so angry that even he himself became a little scared. He wanted to rush at the brute and tear him into small pieces so that everyone could see it and be convinced once again how serious and stern the Turkey bird is. He even took a few steps towards the Hedgehog, sulked terribly and was just about to rush when everyone started shouting and scolding the Hedgehog. The turkey stopped and patiently began to wait for how it would all end.
When the Rooster offered to drag the Hedgehog by the bristles in different directions, the Turkey stopped his zeal:
Allow me, gentlemen. Maybe we can settle this whole thing peacefully. Yes. It seems to me that there is a slight misunderstanding here. Leave it to me, gentlemen, it's all up to me.
“Okay, we’ll wait,” the Rooster reluctantly agreed, wanting to fight with the Hedgehog as quickly as possible. - But nothing will come of this anyway.
“And that’s my business,” the Turkey answered calmly. - Yes, listen to how I talk.
Everyone crowded around the Hedgehog and began to wait. The turkey walked around him, cleared his throat and said:
Listen, Mr. Hedgehog. Explain yourself seriously. I don't like troubles at home at all.
God, how smart he is, how smart! - thought Turkey, listening to her husband in silent delight.
Pay attention, first of all, to the fact that you are in a decent and well-mannered society,” Turkey continued. - Does this mean something? Yes. Many consider it an honor to come into our yard, but - alas! - rarely does anyone succeed.
But this is so, between us, and that’s not the main thing.
The turkey stopped, paused for importance and then continued:
Yes, that's the main thing. Did you really think that we have no idea about hedgehogs? I have no doubt that the Gusak, who mistook you for a mushroom, was joking, and so did the Rooster, and others. Isn't it true, gentlemen?
Quite right, Turkey! - everyone shouted at once so loudly that the Hedgehog hid his black muzzle.
Oh, how smart he is! - thought Turkey, who was beginning to guess what was going on.
As you can see, Mr. Hedgehog, we all love to joke,” continued the Turkey. - I'm not talking about myself. Yes. Why not joke? And, it seems to me, you, Mr. Hedgehog, also have a cheerful character.
Oh, you guessed it right,” the Hedgehog admitted, sticking out his muzzle again. - I have such a cheerful character that I can’t even sleep at night. Many people can’t stand it, but I find it boring to sleep.
Well, you see. You will probably have a similar personality to our Rooster, who crows like crazy at night.
Everyone suddenly felt cheerful, as if the only thing everyone needed to complete their life was the Hedgehog. The Turkey was triumphant that he had so cleverly gotten out of an awkward situation when the Hedgehog called him stupid and laughed right in his face.
By the way, Mr. Hedgehog, admit it,” said Turkey, winking, “after all, of course, you were joking when you called me just now.” Yes. Well, a stupid bird?
Of course I was joking! - assured the Hedgehog. - I have such a cheerful character!
Yes, yes, I was sure of it. Did you hear, gentlemen? - Turkey asked everyone.
We heard. Who could doubt it!
The Turkey leaned close to the Hedgehog’s ear and whispered to him in confidence:
So be it, I'll tell you a terrible secret. Yes. Only condition: don’t tell anyone. True, I’m a little ashamed to talk about myself, but what can you do if I’m the smartest bird! Sometimes this even embarrasses me a little, but you can’t hide an sew in a bag. Please, don't say a word about this to anyone!
The turkey woke up, as usual, earlier than the others, when it was still dark, woke up his wife and said:
- After all, I’m smarter than everyone else? Yes?
The turkey coughed for a long time, half asleep, and then answered:
- Oh, so smart... Cough, cough!.. Who doesn’t know that? Cough...
- No, tell me straight: smarter than everyone else? There are simply enough smart birds, but the smartest one is me.
- Smarter than everyone else... cough! Smarter than everyone... Cough-cough-cough!..
- That's it.
The turkey even got a little angry and added in such a tone that the other birds could hear:
– You know, it seems to me that I have little respect. Yes, quite a bit.
- No, it seems so to you... Cough-cough! - Turkey calmed him down, starting to straighten the feathers that had become tangled during the night. - Yes, it just seems... Birds couldn’t be smarter than you. Cough-cough-cough!
- And Gusak? Oh, I understand everything... Let’s say he doesn’t say anything directly, but mostly remains silent. But I feel that he silently does not respect me...
– Don’t pay any attention to him. It’s not worth it... cough! Have you noticed that Gusak is stupid?
– Who doesn’t see this? It’s written all over his face: stupid gander, and nothing more. Yes... But Gusak is okay - how can you be angry with a stupid bird? But the Rooster, the simplest rooster... What did he cry about me the day before? And how he shouted, all the neighbors heard. He, it seems, even called me very stupid... Something like that in general.
“Oh, how strange you are,” the Turkey was surprised. “Don’t you know why he even screams?”
- Well, why?
– Cough-cough-cough... It’s very simple, and everyone knows it. You are a rooster, and he is a rooster, only he is a very, very simple rooster, a very ordinary rooster, and you are a real Indian, overseas rooster - so he screams with envy. Every bird wants to be an Indian rooster... Cough-cough-cough!..
- Well, it’s difficult, mother... Ha ha! Look what you want. Some simple cockerel - and suddenly wants to become an Indian - no, brother, you're being naughty!.. He will never be an Indian.
The Turkey was such a modest and kind bird and was constantly upset that the Turkey was always quarreling with someone. And today, he hasn’t even had time to wake up, and he’s already thinking of someone to start a quarrel with or even a fight with. Generally the most restless bird, although not evil. The Turkey felt a little offended when other birds began to laugh at the Turkey and called him a chatterbox, a blabbermouth and a breaker. Let's say they were partly right, but find a bird without flaws? That's exactly what it is! There are no such birds, and it’s even somehow more pleasant when you find even the smallest flaw in another bird.
The awakened birds poured out of the chicken coop into the yard and a desperate hubbub immediately arose. The chickens were especially noisy. They ran around the yard, climbed to the kitchen window and shouted furiously:
- Oh, where! Ah-where-where-where... We want to eat! The cook Matryona must have died and wants to starve us to death...
“Gentlemen, have patience,” noted Gusak, who was standing on one leg. - Look at me: I’m also hungry, and I’m not screaming like you. If I screamed at the top of my lungs... like this... Go-go!.. Or like this: E-go-go-go!!
The gander cackled so desperately that the cook Matryona immediately woke up.
“It’s good for him to talk about patience,” one Duck grumbled, “that throat is like a pipe.” And then, if I had such a long neck and such a strong beak, then I, too, would preach patience. She herself would be more likely to be full, and would advise others to be patient... We know this goose’s patience...
The Rooster supported the duck and shouted:
- Yes, it’s good for Gusak to talk about patience... And who pulled the two best feathers out of my tail yesterday? It’s even ignoble to grab right by the tail. Let’s say we quarreled a little and I wanted to peck Gusak’s head - I won’t deny it, that was my intention - but it’s my fault, not my tail. Is that what I say, gentlemen?
Hungry birds, like hungry people, were made unjust precisely because they were hungry.
II
Out of pride, the turkey never rushed with others to feed, but patiently waited for Matryona to drive away the other greedy bird and call him. It was the same now. The turkey walked to the side, near the fence, and pretended to be looking for something among various rubbish.
- Cough, cough... oh, how I want to eat! – the Turkey complained, walking behind her husband. - Matryona threw away the oats... yes... and, it seems, the remains of yesterday's porridge... cough-cough! Oh, how I love porridge!.. It seems that I would always eat one porridge, my whole life. I even sometimes see her at night in my dreams...
The Turkey loved to complain when she was hungry, and demanded that the Turkey certainly feel sorry for her. Among the other birds, she looked like an old woman: she was always hunched over, coughing, and walked with a kind of broken gait, as if her legs had been attached to her only yesterday.
“Yes, it’s good to eat porridge,” Turkey agreed with her. “But a smart bird never rushes for food. Is that what I say? If my owner doesn’t feed me, I’ll die of hunger...right? Where will he find another turkey like this?
- There is no other place like it...
- That's it... But the porridge is, in essence, nothing. Yes... It's not about the porridge, but about Matryona. Is that what I say? If Matryona were there, there would be porridge. Everything in the world depends on Matryona alone - oats, porridge, cereals, and crusts of bread.
Despite all these reasonings, Turkey began to experience pangs of hunger. Then he became completely sad when all the other birds had eaten their fill, and Matryona did not come out to call him. What if she forgot about him? After all, this is a completely nasty thing...
But then something happened that made Turkey forget even about his own hunger. It started when one young hen, walking near the barn, suddenly shouted:
- Oh, where!..
All the other hens immediately picked it up and screamed with good obscenities: “Oh, where! where, where..." And the Rooster roared louder than everyone else, of course:
- Guard!.. Who's there?
The birds that came running to hear the cry saw a completely unusual thing. Right next to the barn, in a hole lay something gray, round, covered entirely with sharp needles.
“Yes, it’s a simple stone,” someone remarked.
“He was moving,” explained the Chicken. “I also thought it was a stone, I approached, and then it moved... Really!” It seemed to me that he had eyes, but stones do not have eyes.
“You never know what might seem out of fear to a stupid chicken,” remarked the Turkey. - Maybe this... this...
- Yes, it’s a mushroom! - Gusak shouted. “I’ve seen mushrooms exactly like these, only without needles.”
Everyone laughed loudly at Gusak.
“It looks more like a hat,” someone tried to guess and was also ridiculed.
- Does a hat have eyes, gentlemen?
“There’s no need to talk in vain, but we need to act,” the Rooster decided for everyone. - Hey you, thing with needles, tell me, what kind of animal is it? I don’t like to joke... do you hear?
Since there was no answer, the Rooster considered himself insulted and rushed at the unknown offender. He tried to peck twice and stepped aside in embarrassment.
“It’s... it’s a huge burdock cone, and nothing more,” he explained. – There’s nothing tasty... Would anyone like to try it?
Everyone was chatting whatever came to mind. There was no end to guesswork and speculation. Only Turkey was silent. Well, let others chat, and he will listen to other people's nonsense. The birds chattered, screamed and argued for a long time until someone shouted:
- Gentlemen, why are we racking our brains in vain when we have Turkey? He knows everything...
“Of course, I know,” responded the Turkey, spreading his tail and puffing out his red gut on his nose.
- And if you know, then tell us.
- What if I don’t want to? Yeah, I just don't want to.
Everyone began to beg Turkey.
- After all, you are our smartest bird, Turkey! Well, tell me, darling... What should you say?
The turkey struggled for a long time and finally said:
- Well, okay, I guess I’ll say... yes, I’ll say it. Just first tell me who you think I am?
“Who doesn’t know that you are the smartest bird!” everyone answered in unison. “That’s what they say: smart as a turkey.”
- So you respect me?
- We respect you! We respect everyone!..
The turkey broke down a little more, then it fluffed up all over, inflated its intestines, walked around the sophisticated animal three times and said:
- This is... yes... Do you want to know what it is?
– We want!.. Please don’t be tormented, but tell me quickly.
- This is someone crawling somewhere...
Everyone was just about to laugh when giggling was heard, and a thin voice said:
– That’s the smartest bird!.. hee hee... A black muzzle with two black eyes appeared from under the needles, sniffed the air and said:
- Hello, gentlemen... How come you didn’t recognize this Hedgehog, the little gray little Hedgehog?.. Oh, what a funny Turkey you have, excuse me, what is he like... How can I say this more politely? Well, stupid Turkey...
III
Everyone even became scared after such an insult as the Hedgehog inflicted on the Turkey. Of course, the Turkey said something stupid, that’s true, but it doesn’t follow from this that the Hedgehog has the right to insult him. Finally, it is simply impolite to come to someone else's house and insult the owner. Whatever you want, the Turkey is still an important, representative bird and certainly no match for some unfortunate Hedgehog.
Everyone somehow went over to Turkey’s side, and a terrible uproar arose.
“The Hedgehog probably thinks we’re all stupid too!” - shouted the Rooster, flapping his wings.
- He insulted us all!..
“If anyone is stupid, it’s him, that is, the Hedgehog,” declared Gusak, craning his neck. “I noticed it right away... yes!”
-Can mushrooms be stupid? – answered the Hedgehog.
“Gentlemen, there’s no point in talking to him!” - the Rooster shouted. - He won’t understand anything anyway... It seems to me that we are just wasting our time. Yes... If, for example, you, Gander, grab his stubble with your strong beak on one side, and Turkey and I grab his bristles on the other, now it will be clear who is smarter. After all, you can’t hide your intelligence under stupid stubble...
“Well, I agree...” said Gusak. - It will be even better if I grab his stubble from behind, and you, Rooster, will peck him right in the face... Right, gentlemen? Who is smarter will now be seen.
The turkey was silent the whole time. At first he was stunned by the Hedgehog's audacity, and he could not find what to answer. Then Turkey got angry, so angry that even he himself became a little scared. He wanted to rush at the brute and tear him into small pieces so that everyone could see it and be convinced once again how serious and strict the Turkey bird is. He even took a few steps towards the Hedgehog, sulked terribly and was just about to rush when everyone started shouting and scolding the Hedgehog. The turkey stopped and patiently began to wait for how it would all end.
When the Rooster offered to drag the Hedgehog by the bristles in different directions, the Turkey stopped his zeal:
- Allow me, gentlemen... Maybe we can settle this whole matter peacefully... Yes. It seems to me that there is a slight misunderstanding here. Leave it to me, gentlemen, the whole matter...
“Okay, we’ll wait,” the Rooster reluctantly agreed, wanting to fight with the Hedgehog as quickly as possible. “But nothing will come of this anyway...
“But that’s my business,” Turkey answered calmly. - Yes, listen to how I talk.
Everyone crowded around the Hedgehog and began to wait. The turkey walked around him, cleared his throat and said:
– Listen, Mr. Hedgehog... Explain yourself seriously. I don't like troubles at home at all.
“God, how smart he is, how smart!..” thought Turkey, listening to her husband in silent delight.
“First of all, pay attention to the fact that you are in a decent and well-mannered society,” Turkey continued. - Does this mean something... yes... Many consider it an honor to come to our yard, but - alas! - rarely does anyone succeed.
- Is it true! True!.. – voices were heard.
- But this is so, between us, and the main thing is not that...
The turkey stopped, paused for importance and then continued:
- Yes, that’s the main thing... Did you really think that we have no idea about hedgehogs? I have no doubt that the Gusak, who mistook you for a mushroom, was joking, and the Rooster too, and the others... Isn’t that right, gentlemen?
- Quite rightly, Turkey! - everyone shouted at once so loudly that the Hedgehog hid his black muzzle.
“Oh, how smart he is!” - thought Turkey, who was beginning to guess what was going on.
“As you can see, Mr. Hedgehog, we all love to joke,” continued the Turkey. - I'm not talking about myself... yes. Why not joke? And, it seems to me, you, Mr. Hedgehog, also have a cheerful character...
“Oh, you guessed right,” admitted the Hedgehog, again sticking out his muzzle. “I have such a cheerful character that I can’t even sleep at night... Many people can’t stand it, but I find it boring to sleep.”
- Well, you see... You will probably get along in character with our Rooster, who crows like crazy at night.
Everyone suddenly felt cheerful, as if everyone needed the Hedgehog to complete their life. The Turkey was triumphant that he had so cleverly gotten out of an awkward situation when the Hedgehog called him stupid and laughed right in his face.
“By the way, Mr. Hedgehog, admit it,” said Turkey, winking, “after all, you were, of course, joking when you called me just now... yes... well, a stupid bird?”
- Of course I was joking! - Hedgehog assured. – I have such a cheerful character!..
- Yes, yes, I was sure of it. Did you hear, gentlemen? - Turkey asked everyone.
– We heard... Who could doubt it!
The Turkey leaned close to the Hedgehog’s ear and whispered to him in confidence:
- So be it, I’ll tell you a terrible secret... yes... Only one condition: don’t tell anyone. True, I’m a little ashamed to talk about myself, but what can you do if I’m the smartest bird! Sometimes this even embarrasses me a little, but you can’t hide a sewing in a bag... Please, just don’t say a word about this to anyone! That's
