How to quickly make any decisions. How can a mother decide to start her own business? How can a mother start her own business?
About 3 years ago I asked myself the question “Who am I? And can I be in business? And which path to take – with business or not.” After a year of thinking, I decided that I would still moderate my ardor and moderate it... pretty much, to zero.
Today I sat at a master class and realized that the girl who is now speaking in front of me has started doing exactly what I gave up exactly 3 years ago. Then my head was working and there were clients tearing me apart: “Only you can help here!”
And now she’s over there on the podium and explains to me everything that’s already in my head. Moreover, everything was on a much steeper scale for me. But it was hidden at will deeply, because I gave up on myself, saying: “No, I won’t be on business, other things are a priority.” I lost my ambitions and collapsed.
This is a quote from a private school chat.
Elena comprehensively described how, after a year (!!!) of thought, she did not dare to move on, and her resource future collapsed.
I regularly encounter long periods of thinking and deliberation in my students.
And the more a student thinks, the less likely he is to take the first step towards a new future.
Bodie Schaefer in one of his books gives the 72-hour rule - if you put off doing something planned for more than 72 hours (or 3 days), most likely you will never do it again.
Almost all my statistics on students confirm this rule.
I've put together a list of 10 tips to help you get started.
1. Remove uncertainty: record your plans and make a schedule for their implementation
The first stopper of movement is the contradiction between the desire to eat the whole hippopotamus with a complete lack of understanding of how to do this. The mouth is small.
I want a million a month, but I don’t understand how to do it yet and that’s why I’m standing still.
The first stage from which training begins at my school is.
I teach how to cut a hippopotamus into pieces.
I’ll tell you step by step how to specify your desires and create a business plan for achieving them.
We are talking specifically about a business plan, because the main task business to provide resources to fulfill the desires of its owner.
We budget for the student’s desires and draw up step-by-step parameters for business development that will allow them to achieve these desires.
One of my students just opened a new office in Moscow. He had been nurturing this idea for a long time, but it happened after we sat down with him and outlined what steps and resources were required for this.
One of the limiting beliefs that stopped my student was a large budget for implementation. When we laid everything out in detail and went through several options, it turned out that he was within his budget.
2. Start now
“I’ll start testing this sales channel later,” “I’ll work on this method of growing the average ticket later,” “I’ll think about this marketing tool later,” “I’m in a bad place right now.” energy state, I’ll launch this product later”, “cool sales case - we need to implement it later.”
People are waiting for Monday, better times, lucky stars, a sign from above.
I give you a sign from above - start right now!
Do something right now that you have been putting off for a long time.
Put a clear deadline in your calendar for the next 72 hours to take the first step towards your goal.
Continuing the case of the student with the opening of the office - He went on reconnaissance to Moscow almost immediately after our conversation. He did this one day - he left in the morning by Sapsan, and returned in the evening. I collected a lot of useful information, visited competitors and looked for a place for an office. Based on what we collected, we made several hypotheses, which he began to test.
An example of how to start right now with a complete breakdown from Evgenia from Petrozavodsk:
I took action and opened my first business in a state of complete loss of strength. After a long illness, I sat with my mother all winter and watched TV series, and one spring I thought “to hell with it, let’s try,” since there was nowhere to go any lower, I just started doing it, and my appetite came while eating)…
This was a year and a half ago and now I have two working businesses, the first (hairdressing salon) has paid off and is in the black, the second (coffee to go) has not yet).
3. Do it, because practice is the criterion of truth, not thought
No matter how carefully and in detail we study the project, we will not be able to completely simulate the surrounding reality. Therefore, everything that is in our heads is just a hypothesis. There is only one way to check whether they work - start implementing them.
Briefly about the teacher/trainer:
— sets you a goal that you would not set for yourself;
- he sees the whole picture, and not from the inside, like you;
- gives you permission to make a new jump;
— helps with his experience, resources and connections;
— takes into account your strengths and weaknesses;
— distributes magic kicks and gingerbread cookies.
For those who have realized how much time they actually have left and want to use it as efficiently as possible, I recommend watching the webinar “How not to screw up 2017.”
What you will learn at the webinar:
- How to identify growth areas for your life next year
- How to create a roadmap for life to 100 years of age
- How to compose step-by-step business plan achieving goals for 2017
- Why it is important and how to conduct a retrospective of the past year
- How to learn to highlight and visualize correctly key points next year
This motivation is primarily responsible for the initial desire to want. She is responsible for the need for play, entertainment, and structuring her time.
In psychology there is such a thing as ego states. So there are three ego states (parent, child and adult), each of them is responsible for a specific function.
Functions of the psyche:
The function of a parent is to take care of himself and others, teach and explain, control, observe social principles, rules, norms and prohibitions, approve and criticize, etc.
The function of a child is to want, desire, motivate us and act; give life brightness and richness, the inner child is responsible for spontaneity and naturalness, create new things, create fantasies and ideas.
The function of an adult is to be in a conscious state, negotiate, adapt, correspond to reality, consider desires, plans and events in general from the perspective of common sense and benefit, analyze and calculate options, act as much as possible in effective ways that a person knows.
If a person doesn’t want anything, then most often there are problems with this type of motivation. Problems occur due to a malfunction of the inner child.
Who is to blame for everything?
Social programming and parents in childhood suppress and deform the child’s motivation by ignoring his spontaneous aspirations in his endeavors, his desires and needs.
Prohibitions. These are often the reasons why problems arise with this type of motivation. Someone was beaten on the hands, someone was constantly told “no, it’s bad, don’t climb, don’t touch, don’t walk, don’t try, it’s dangerous, etc.” in almost every action they take.
Thus, raising the child to be an obedient slave with many prohibitions and social restrictions. And as a consequence of such negative upbringing, a lack of basic primary motivation is formed in adult life. Such phrases form shackles with which a person can live for the rest of his life if he does not know what and how to do.
Such changes occur both at the level of the psyche (mental energy runs out) and at the level of physiology (those areas and areas of the brain that are responsible for primary motivation and desire are de-energized).
“Primary motivation” can and should be “Included”. And then the suppressed, constrained energy will be released and energy and strength will automatically appear. Interest in life will awaken. The psyche will no longer block itself.
Must, Must, Must:
If a person was constantly told what and how to do. As a result of such upbringing, the skill of independence does not develop and primary motivation is blocked or simply atrophies as unnecessary.
So that the psyche does not go into chaos from conflicting needs and desires (when you want one thing, but are told to do something else). It simply turns off primary motivation. And a person has no desire to live his life as he wants. Instead, it is already dictated what a person “SHOULD” do, what is “RIGHT” and what he “SHOULD” do.
What's the catch?
And even when a person achieves everything that “NEEDS”, he does not feel any procedural or final pleasure from the work done. It seems like I learned how to earn money and have some kind of relationships. But one of the most important components for happy life- there is no desire to live, to want, to explore the world around us and to have fun at the same time. And without this, life becomes boring, gray, perhaps “Correct”, but it is not happy.
Is there a magic pill or is there something else...
If there is no “primary motivation”, there is no energy and desire to want or do anything at all. In other words, there is no key to healing. And no matter what the person does, the car will not move until the keys are returned to the ignition.
When this motivation works well, then you can practice strategic planning- competently set goals and implement them. Because a person knows what he wants - he has good contact with himself. His desires and needs awaken. Your hands are itching to do something, there is a reserve of strength and energy to realize your desires. Life is moving in the right direction.
What to do?
In order for primary motivation to work well, it gives vital energy, motivation and interest in life. In this case, you need to work with the structures of emotional intelligence. It is necessary to restore the work of the inner child at the mental level, and at the body level, so to speak, “Turn on” those areas of the brain that have stopped working. That is, you need to restart the signals that are blocked.
It is necessary to ensure that those areas of the brain that are responsible for this primary motivation are activated, so that the psyche returns to the correct original state, when everything is “OK”. In order for the desire to set and achieve goals to be natural, the motivation to do this was formed not only and not so much consciously, but precisely from the depths of the soul and body. Then life will delight and bring satisfaction.
Sometimes we realize that we are completely stuck, that the life we have is decidedly unsatisfactory for us. There can be many reasons for this: our relationships may fail, we may get tired of the work we do, we may become disgusted with the people we have to deal with, or it may happen that the thought that everything that is around us will flare up in our brain like a match. this is far from what we really need.
But regardless of the reasons prompting you to change, you can start all over again by first clarifying everything and defining for yourself guidelines and a plan for changing yourself and your life. I sincerely hope that these 15 steps will help you get started new life and change yourself.
Step 1. Determine the direction of movement and your motivation.
Your life is always a movement towards a certain goal, regardless of whether you are aware of this goal or not. Your previous life, which does not suit you, could have been subordinated to someone else’s false goal, which contradicted your inner nature, your nature, your desires and your values. For example, you were in a relationship that you didn’t really need, or got a job that you were disgusted with, or communicated with people who turned out to be complete strangers to you.
Now you can determine for yourself which trajectory you should take, now you are the master of your life path. Use the right motivation. Start from “Where am I going?” and not from “Why am I running?” Running away from something is not a useful motivation. Avoiding unpleasant feelings does not solve real problems. Emotions tend to follow you wherever you go. Therefore, you will have to deal with them before you start a truly new life.
How to develop a life strategy
Step 2: Free yourself from the weight of loss or defeat
Often serious life events push us to start over. Divorce, separation, collapse of career plans, business ruin, job loss, health conditions. All this leaves a serious emotional imprint and can be a source of constant stress, anxiety, anxiety or even depression. You need to understand that making serious decisions with such baggage is a very dangerous matter.
If a life event has caused you to experience deep and strong emotions, then you need time for everything to calm down. This gap can be shortened if you work through your experiences with the help of within one or more sessions.
Step 3: Examine your life
For the success of your venture to start a new life, it is not enough just to know where you need to go. It is also important to clearly know and clearly understand where you are starting from. Imagine that you are about to take a powerful jump into the water, but you are jumping from a very slippery shore. You spend strength and energy on a powerful jump, but at the decisive moment you slip and everything goes down the drain.
To prevent this from happening in your story, study your past life (it will also be useful to go through express test "Life Analysis"), write it down on paper and study your habits, your past patterns of behavior in different life situations (for example, how you cope with difficulties or react to unexpected opportunities; how much you manage to follow your decisions, etc.).
Surely in the process of studying your past life and your behavior, you will notice a lot of things that you would not want to notice, which will cause you rejection and internal resistance. But this is exactly what you should pay attention to first.
“The darkness of low truths is dearer to us than the deception that elevates us,” said Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. What are “low truths”?
They are what you know about yourself, but what it is unpleasant to know, much less hear from others. What you drive away from yourself. Things that require thought make you feel uncomfortable. But in general - to grow. Elevating deception does not promote growth. “Chicken Ryaba” is a film about low truths. I think that's why many people don't take it.
Why wasn’t Chaadaev accepted, why was he declared crazy? Others still categorically deny it. Although he was largely right. But he spoke about “low truths” that caused a feeling of discomfort, which were not customary to talk about. No one has ever been sent to an insane asylum for “exalting deception.” And enough has suffered for the “low truths.” As a rule, it is for them.
And this is true not only in Russia - no one in the world needs the frightening truth. It is needed to hide it. So that only a few would know her and not allow others to see her...
Konchalovsky A., Low Truths, M., “Top Secret Collection”, 1999
Step 4: Examine Your Values
Before making big and serious decisions about what your new life will be like, you should analyze your own life values. If you know what is most important to you, then based on your values it will be easier for you to make the right decisions on how to start a new life and change yourself.
Take a piece of paper and write down on it everything that you believe in, everything that you consider to be the main and important thing in life, in relationships between people, what things make you think deeply or inspire. Look at what you do in life, at what you like to do and ask yourself a simple question: “Why?”, “What is this for?”. The answers you receive can reveal completely unexpected facets of your personality.
You can also consider several people (these may be living people you know, famous personalities or historical figures) that you admire and ask yourself: what do I respect most about them? Why? How might this play out in my own life?
Step 5. Decide what big changes you want to make
For some people, starting a “new life” may mean a drastic change: moving to another city or another country, completely renewing social connections, changing professional field, etc. For others, it may mean small but significant changes, such as liberation away from old habits or behavior patterns and focus on developing a new way of life. Regardless of your desire, make sure you are clear about how big of a change you want to make.
Find out what in your life needs to change. For example, is there something that makes you unhappy or dissatisfied? Or can you decide whether to change every aspect of my life, or would it make more sense to focus on one or two areas? Remember that change (especially when it is carried out without outside support) is always a difficult process, so to achieve success, start small and gradually move up.
Step 6. Create an image of your new future
Do one useful exercise that will help you figure out what goals and objectives to set for yourself and what changes need to be made. In addition, it will give you the necessary motivation and strengthen your intention to change.
Imagine a certain moment in the future. Let this moment have an exact date and time. Imagine that in this future, you have received magical powers to achieve all your hopes and dreams. You are exactly who you want to be.
Imagine this in as much detail as possible. Who surrounds you? Where do you live? What are you doing? What does it look like? Include as many details as possible to create the most sharp image. One of my clients imagined that he was a successful designer, he had own studio, interesting orders come to him from all over the world and he travels a lot to other countries, doing interesting and amazing things (in reality, after a couple of years he actually founded his own studio and began to receive foreign orders).
Now think about your strengths, abilities and skills that are needed to make this vision of the future become a reality. What do you already have? What areas need improvement? Be honest with yourself. For example, if you want to be a famous musician, then you probably already have musical ability, or at least a love for music. You will also need a stronger mindset to work towards improvements.
Using your imagination to create a vision for the future, make that vision achievable and positive. Obviously, you cannot become a superhero or have any superpowers or superpowers. Here you better think about what attracts you to such a superhero. His desire for justice and protection of the weak? Then you can choose a profession that contributes to the fulfillment of this mission. Or do you like the ability to make quick and error-free decisions? Then imagine how you should train your thinking to reach such a level.
Step 7: Set Clear and Specific Goals
The famous sage Lao Tzu said: a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And your journey to a new life should also begin with concrete steps. Setting clear personal goals will help you move forward confidently and stay on track to build a new life.
Think about where you see yourself in 6 months, a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years or more.
Set your goals. Make sure that these are well-defined goals, that is, they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and have a clear time frame for achieving them.
Start by defining your big goal, and then break it down into smaller ones. Then break down smaller goals into tasks.
For example, if you decide that you want to find your own business and make it a source of your income, this is your common goal. To achieve it, you will need to achieve smaller goals. For example, the first thing you should do is contact a professional who will help you find the business that suits your purpose (for my clients this service is included in the program «» ), then you need to compose marketing plan and conduct target audience research. Examples of tasks here could be: creating a test product, researching people's needs and their readiness to use this product, studying competitors and their products, market analysis, etc. You can split these tasks even further, for example, set yourself the task of communicating with potential clients or go to places where products are sold (services are provided) similar to the product that you are going to give.
Step 8: Determine the necessary internal changes
In order for your new life project to be crowned with success, you should think carefully about what internal changes you should make to your own personality. In other words, you need to determine who you BE in order to successfully DO what will allow you to HAVE a different life.
Let's see what internal changes these can be.
It can be changes in your physical condition. Perhaps you decide that you should enter a new life with a new body. You may want to get rid of excess weight or increase your level of physical fitness and get a more athletic and developed body. Do not forget that excess weight depends on 2 main reasons: sludge in the body and a low level of vital activity.
I recommend that you start by increasing your level of physical activity and do it gradually, increasing the load over a long period of time (at least 45 days) so that it becomes a habit for you. You may need the help of a consultant to develop an optimal program and change beliefs and mental attitudes that prevent you from changing your body.
It will be easier with a change appearance. You can choose your style yourself or consult a stylist. Buy new clothes, change your hairstyle. Remember that the way you dress and look affects how you feel and how others perceive you. Research has proven that when you dress in a way that aligns with your goals, you are more likely to achieve them.
Changes in worldview. This is about the famous expression “You can take the girl out of the village, but you cannot take the village out of the girl.” If you don’t want to be this notorious “girl,” then you have to work hard on how you think and how you perceive the world.
Think about what beliefs the person you want to become should have, how this person should perceive the world, people, events, relationships. What principles and rules should it be guided by? Explore the list of ,to get a completely new view of the world.
Changing your own consciousness is not an easy process. The force of habit, old patterns and inertia of thinking can form the core of your personality. As part of the program «» we conduct with clients so that a person can see his true nature and find his true self. After this process, any changes in consciousness with the help of any psychotechniques are much faster and easier.
Emotional changes. For your new life to be prosperous, you need to learn to let go of your past. This includes learning to forgive. Forgiveness frees you from the burden of past trauma and pain. You forgive others not for them, but for yourself. Research shows that forgiveness makes you feel less angry and anxious. Also learn to accept defeats and losses as part of life, pass them through the “sieve” of awareness and let them go. And you will feel great relief.
Change the way you approach life by harnessing the power of gratitude. Learn to thank life for any of its manifestations, remember that difficulties on your life’s path are tests, not punishments. Accept them as well as everything good that happens to you.
Research has shown that practicing gratitude makes you feel happier and more satisfied with life; it will help you master flexibility and adaptability to change; will improve your physical health and quality of sleep, and may help you overcome emotional trauma. Practice the power of gratitude for 5 minutes every day, 1 or more times.
Step 9. Reconsider your relationships with people
The world is people, and life is relationships between people. It is difficult to start a new life if there are “toxic” people around you who drag you down. In some cases, it is necessary to “cut” such people out of your life in the interests of own safety. In other cases, you can simply stop spending time with them and you will feel happier by removing them from your life.
Interpersonal relationships are critical to your functioning and development as a person. Numerous studies show that we greatly influence the people with whom we interact, so when starting a new life, take into it only those people who are important to you and will give you the love and respect you deserve.
One of my clients, having decided to start a new life and open his own business, encountered numerous difficulties, the reasons for which, as it turned out, lay in the fact that his so-called. “friends” were people not inclined to act independently and take responsibility. They were used to living a measured, stable and dull life, and by communicating with them, my client involuntarily received nourishment for those parts of his personality that were resistant to risks and dangers entrepreneurial activity. In practice, this led to the fact that “business didn’t work.” My client needed a serious rethinking of the role of these people in his life in order for the situation to change and his business to begin to grow and develop.
The following anecdote illustrates this situation very well:
The old devil drowns three cauldrons of sinners in hell. They send him a young imp for practice.
Young Imp. The Old Devil teaches him:
- So, look - the first boiler. He needs to be monitored carefully. There are Jews sitting here. If even one gets out, he will drag all his people with him...
Second boiler. Here you can keep an eye on the lid. The Americans are sitting here, it’s every man for himself, if one runs away, it’s not scary, he won’t get far anyway.
You don’t have to look at the third cauldron at all. The Russians are sitting here. If even one climbs up, the rest will be grabbed and put in the hottest place.
Clear your space of people:
- communicating with whom you feel empty or constantly stressed
- who constantly criticize or judge you. And you feel like you can't do anything right when you're around them.
- who say bad things about you to your face or behind your eyes
- with whom you do not feel safe sharing your hopes, thoughts, needs or feelings.
Eliminating unhealthy social relationships will help you move forward more confidently and many times faster towards a happy and healthy life. Developing a positive social environment that does not include your past habits is critical to ensuring your successful path. Surround yourself with people around whom you will grow as a person and develop towards a new life.
Step 10. Start a new financial life
Whether you're fresh out of college or have been working for 30 years, it's never too early or too late to restart your financial life. You may want to start saving for significant life goals, such as buying a house or aging comfortably. Or perhaps you want to reconsider your spending habits to stop wasting them left or right. Or you might want to start investing. Take a look at your goals and decide how you need to manage your money to get what you need.
Try to get rid of all your debts first. Debts are from a previous life. There is no place for them in the new life. One of my clients, after working with her, got rid of 90% of her debts in less than 6 months. If you have more debts than you can pay, then current legislation allows you to file for personal bankruptcy. Perhaps this will be a suitable option for you.
Then analyze your finances. Structure your income and expenses, start budgeting. See where you can reduce “leakages” (for example, buying unnecessary things), and where you can get extra money (for example, by selling things that you do not use through the avito.ru service). Either way, budgeting will guide you toward good financial decisions.
Step 11: Talk to People
When you decide to start a new life, talking with people who are already living the life you want can be a very useful move. This is useful because it can give you an idea of how to get there. For example, if you want to throw away boring, disgusting work and do something that you love and are interested in, then you just need to look for those people who have already done business in their favorite business and interview them, for example, during which ask about their road map. Perhaps one of these people will agree to become a Mentor for you on the path to a new life.
You can also ask people about difficult moments that may arise in your new life. You may be under the illusion of a new career, a new relationship, a new business, or a new country. Understanding the smallest details that others will tell you about will allow you to avoid many mistakes and wrong moves.
For example, you may dream of leaving your boring job in Moscow and going to Bali, where life is paradise. If you talk to people who already live there, you may discover things you don't know about, such as the fact that it is incredibly expensive, unfriendly visa policies, difficulties with healthcare, difficulty in doing activities that require concentration. Of course, this does not mean that you should not move, but this knowledge will help you better adapt to the realities of your new life.
Step 12: Get support
Starting a new life can be a daunting prospect. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you and will be able to provide you with help and support on your path. Knowing that you have sources of emotional support will help you feel much stronger as you face the realities of your new life.
If you don't have family or trusted friends who can support you, then it makes sense to look for such support in other places. This could be support within groups or communities of interest or even religious communities. Go where people communicate freely and openly with each other and make new acquaintances.
Step 13. Test yourself
The big life changes that are necessary to start a new life will require serious work, dedication and patience from you. It can be stressful and scary. Make sure you are prepared for this. How are you feeling? What behavior is acceptable for you? Is anything bothering you? Keeping a journal will help you understand your emotions and determine if there are areas in which you need additional support or that require deeper work.
The process of making major and profound changes in your life can often leave you feeling overwhelmed. You may start to feel sad, stop enjoying certain things, feel anxious or guilty, or feel empty or hopeless. In this case, it can help you quickly and painlessly . Working with this technology allows you to eliminate negative emotional feelings during one session.
Step 14: Make any necessary changes
A new life will not mean that difficulties, obstacles and problems will disappear forever. Starting a new career doesn't mean you'll never feel undervalued or uninspired again. Moving to new town or a new country doesn't mean you'll never get homesick. When you have problems, acknowledge them as such and do what you need to do to resolve them and adapt to the situation.
You may encounter a lot of difficulties on your path to a new life. For example, perhaps you wanted to pursue a military career to follow your values of service and honor, but learned that you were not medically fit to enroll in military school. You could view this as a failure and failure of your dream, or you could go back to the drawing board and determine if there are other things you can do that will also allow you to express these core values.
Step 15: Work with a Consultant
Even if you don't think anything is going "wrong" with your new life, it can be helpful to see a counselor or personal trainer, especially when making big changes. The fact is that such a difficult process as starting a new life and changing yourself can contain a variety of errors and hidden obstacles that can only be seen from the outside. A good consultant is able to give you high-quality feedback and protect you from wasting time, effort and resources.
Another point is that deep personal changes are always accompanied by stress and internal resistance (self-sabotage). Sometimes they are so strong that you give up and lose all desire to move forward. With the help of a consultant, you can work through and get rid of internal fears that block changes. A counselor can also help you learn useful ways of thinking and responding to challenges.
Seeing a counselor is a sure sign that you love and care about yourself enough to get help when it's needed and helpful, and that's good news. A personal change consultant plays the same role for you as a dentist does for your teeth: you eliminate minor problems and difficulties before they cause catastrophic consequences.
Start a new life today!
After reading this article, you may decide: “Okay, this is all great! I will definitely take these recommendations into account and even start following some of them.” But the fact is that the process of change is a systemic process, where everything is clearly connected to each other and each step affects the other. It is important not to make a mistake here.
Do you want to learn how to start a new life in which there will be self-realization, high meaning, activity, motivation, strength, leadership, new discoveries, energy, exciting changes, an interesting game, new horizons, pleasure from the moment you are living, a clear understanding of your own path, the absence of self-sabotage and uncertainty , clarity of intention and action? And at the same time, you will not make serious mistakes and avoid many pitfalls, and the path itself will take several months instead of decades.
Then . I will give you a solution!
Change is always hard. And it’s even harder when it’s a big change - a breakup with a loved one, quitting a job, starting own business and other situations where difficult choices need to be made. But even when it's obvious that change will bring benefits, it can be difficult to implement, and here's why.
- We are worried. How do we know if we made the right decision?
- We'd like to know more. How can you make a decision without having all the information?
- We feel stuck. How to overcome fear and move on, doing what you want?
Of course, I don't have all the answers. But there are seven tips that will help you decide to make changes.
1. Accept the lack of complete information
We often avoid making decisions simply because we want to know more before we take the next step. Yes, of course, you need to study all the details... But you will have to wait a very long time, waiting for a crystal clear answer. Life is a series of questions, mistakes and corrections. Accept The best decision, which you can accept at this particular moment, and continue to move forward.
2. Start trusting yourself
We find various excuses to avoid change, but the main limitation is not trusting ourselves. We fear that when we find ourselves in a new situation, we won't know what to do or how to react. We worry that it will be difficult to navigate the uncharted territory of the future.
Believe in yourself. Have you dealt with surprises before? For example, when a tire blew out on the way to work, how did it end? Or when you suddenly fell? After all, you're fine now. Find the courage to trust yourself. No matter what happens, you will figure out what to do about it.
3. Imagine the worst possible outcome
Like jealousy, most fears live only in the head. When you imagine the worst case scenario, you will realize that there are very few risks from which you cannot recover.
You don't have to change the world right now, you just need to make changes in your own world
Ask yourself, “What's the worst that could happen?” Once you realize that even the worst is not so bad, you will be ready to overcome it.
4. Value the process as much as the result.
We get so caught up in the results that we worry that while we're working toward a big goal, we never reach the finish line. In fact, we have every right to change our minds. Even more: if you don't achieve your goal, it doesn't mean you've lost. You set this goal yourself, it was your choice. You have the right to change it halfway through. Failure is not a destination, neither is success. Enjoy the process of moving forward.
5. Keep pursuing opportunities.
If you're on the fence about making a decision, you may be afraid of ending up in a situation where you have no way out. Think about it differently. New alternatives are rarely limiting, quite the contrary. One of the most rewarding things is that when you pursue a goal day after day, new opportunities open up for you that you never thought of before. If you don't miss them along the way, you can be sure that you will always have a choice.
6. Put in the effort - it's important
It seems basic, but one of the main reasons why change doesn't happen is because we simply don't even try. It's so easy to come up with excuses for why we don't get what we want. Did you fail the test? Are you stupid? “Of course I’m not stupid. I just didn't teach. I would definitely get an “excellent” if I had learned.” Stuck in a job you hate? So why haven't you found a new one yet? "Well, I haven't actually tried to find yet new job. If only I wanted to, I could easily pass the interview.”
Why do we make up excuses? We are afraid that failure will make us failures. But if we don’t try, we can attribute everything to laziness. Get over it. Failures happen to everyone. If you take a chance - and most people don't even try - you will win much more than you thought.
7. Start with something feasible.
You can't climb Everest unless you start training early. Maybe finding your dream job is scary. Where to start today? For example, talk to someone who already works in such a position. Find out what makes them successful. You can improve your skills to answer necessary requirements? You don't have to change the world right now, you just need to make changes in your own world.
About the Author: James Clear is an entrepreneur, weightlifter, travel photographer, blogger and writer. He is engaged in behavioral psychology, studying the habits of successful people - businessmen, artists, athletes - to understand what helps them be effective.
Everyone has a dream that we really want to achieve, but we still can’t decide. There is not enough energy, motivation... Things are not going well. In short, no time for dreams!
But it is dreams that make our lives brighter. We feel alive when we do what we enjoy.
How can you make sure that your dream doesn’t remain just a dream? Here's mine step-by-step instruction to achieve your dream.
1. Challenge yourself
The first step is to create momentum that will pull you out of the state of indecision. Do something extraordinary, out of the ordinary, to pump yourself up for change.
Here is one story for you as an example.
After several months of preparation and training, she entered the competition and returned from there a different person. No, she did not become a master of sports in dog sledding and did not do this anymore. She quit her job and began to change her life.
When a person cannot move, he must first feel what it is like to be passionate, alive, light and happy. Therefore, I advise you to first do what will give you adrenaline. There are a lot of options, the main argument is goosebumps. What makes your skin crawl when you think about it? So get on with it.
2. Face your fears
The biggest obstacle to our dreams is our fears. They are like invisible walls that prevent us from moving forward. It's time to meet them face to face and sort things out once and for all.
Take a piece of paper and write down the numbers from 1 to 10. Now, for ten minutes, write down all your fears. What bad thing will happen if you start pursuing your dream? What are you afraid of and what is stopping you? List all the worst options and scenarios where everyone laughs at you and stops communicating. Don't think, just write. The list could be longer.
So, now look at your fears with an appraising gaze. On paper they are no longer as scary as in your head. Plus, you can now simply cross them out.
Examine every fear on your list. Where did he come from? How real is it? Should you consider it and allow it to influence your life?
3. Take the first step
Surely you think that without careful planning you cannot achieve your dreams. But reality shows that the plan almost never works exactly. The most important action at this moment is to take the first step.
Imagine that your path to your dream is exciting computer game with an unpredictable plot. Now only the first level is open to you. Gradually, more and more levels will open up to you. It's the same in life. At first you only have one opportunity, but then more and more doors will open for you.
When I started blogging, I also didn’t know where it would lead. But if I had not taken this step, it is unlikely that I would now have two of my own books.
There are so many possibilities around you. It's time to try at least one of them. After all, you have to start somewhere?
4. Don't give up
Desire alone is not enough to achieve your dream.
There is an expression: “Success is 99% work and 1% talent.” If you still haven't done what you like simply because you don't have the talent for it, then these are just excuses. Behind every success story there is a lot of hard work. There are hundreds and thousands of hours of work. If you see a person who was able to fulfill your dream, it means that he simply started earlier. That's all.
Believe in yourself. Do not give up. And then you will definitely succeed.
You will find even more inspiration in my books “100 Ways to Change Your Life. Part one" and "100 ways to change your life. Part two" .
